Spam email of the week

Subject: Purchase

Seems like this person would like to purchase a newspaper subscription. I can help with that.

My name is Jeff Wilson and i will like to know if you carry (SPRINKLERS) for sale.

I have three things to say, Jeff Wilson:

1) wtf this is a newspaper, get a hold of yourself, man.
2) I'm not sure you understand how to use parenthesis.
3) Yes, we do.

If yes , reply me back with your website so that i can select the one that am interested in purchasing from your company

Have you tried Googling "SPRINKLERS?" It is likely a more efficient means of attaining SPRINKLERS than emailing the publication manager at a weekly community newspaper, especially considering newspapers and SPRINKLERS have had a long adversarial history. That said, our website is

also i will recommend a freight company for the picked up.

Geez dude how many SPRINKLERS do you need? J/k I will send the SPRINKLERS via your recommended SPRINKLER courier service. How about UPS(PRINKLERS)*?

*that is how you use parenthesis**
**you just got served

Thank You

You're welcome, Jeff Ellipses.