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Facebook meme of the week

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YOU KNOW IT GIRLFRIEND

DO NOT EVEN STEP TO BETTY BOOP SHE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT

NEVERTHELESS I WILL BET MY LIFE SAVINGS THE FIRST COMMENT IS FROM A CREEPO DUDE


IT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE YOU'RE ALLUDING TO SEX PICTURES OF BETTY BOOP (?) BUT I'LL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT SINCE YOU'RE ILLITERATE

BTW "STEP BY STREP" WAS A SITCOM IN THE 90s ABOUT SUZANNE SOMERS HAVING STREP THROAT FOR EIGHT YEARS




WHY DON'T THEY MAKE THE WHOLE PLANE OUT OF THE INSTRUCTIONS MEN DON'T READ

I WOULD LIKE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO PRONOUNCE YOUR FIRST NAME THAT MY WIFE CAN READ TO ME




IN A WAY WE ARE *ALL* WOMEN WHO CANNOT BE HANDLED EVEN WITH INSTRUCTIONS

THIS MEME HAS BROKEN THE MOLD OF RELATABILITY




HOLLA ATCHA BOY




I MEAN C'MON

WHERE MY TRUE BOOP HEADS AT




THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT

THE REVOLUTION WILL BE LED BY A GIANT-HEADED CARTOON FROM THE 30s

THIS FEMALE EMPOWERMENT MEME IS INSPIRING US ALL




UH




OK BUT WHAT IF YOU HAD INSTRUCTIONS

ON HOW TO OPER…

Facebook meme of the week

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GRANTED I'M NOT AS OLD AS A MINION SITTING ON A THRONE OF BANANAS BUT I ALSO REMEMBER "FRIENDS"

WHEN I WAS A KID "FRIENDS" WOULD SHOW UP AT MY DOOR AND WE WOULD DO STUFF WITH

"WHAT KIND OF STUFF WITH SHOULD WE DO WITH" MY "FRIENDS" WOULD ASK AND THEN WE WOULD DO STUFF

WITH

THE "FRIENDS"

SOMETIMES THE STUFF WITH WE WOULD DO WITH THE "FRIENDS" WOULD BE TO WATCH "FRIENDS" WHICH WAS A SHOW ABOUT FRIENDS WHO SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR AND DID STUFF WITH

BUT AGAIN THIS WAS A LONG TIME AGO

DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER THIS, PROBABLY NOT



SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME

IF I WERE EVER INVITED TO ELIZABETH CHIRCHIR LAFAVE'S HOUSE I WOULD NOT WASTE TIME ON MY PHONE, I WOULD LOOK ELIZABETH CHIRCHIR LAFAVE IN THE EYE AND HEAR WHAT ELIZABETH CHIRCHIR LAFAVE HAD TO SAY ABOUT STUFF

WHO KNOWS MAYBE WE WOULD EVEN DO STUFF WITH




THIS HEARTWARMING STORY ABOUT MAILBOXES REINFORCES THE THESIS OF THIS MEME

IF THIS STORY HAD A HAPPIER ENDING I WOU…

Chopsticks promo of the week

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Credit to my brother-in-law, who took the time to examine his chopsticks long enough to discover this very helpful message. Let's break it down.

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.


I am at home.We are eating Thai food.Based on capitalization, I enjoy the notion that there might be a Chinese restaurant somewhere out there called Chinese Restaurant from which these chopsticks are manufactured.Thank you.

Please try your Nice Chinese Food with Chopsticks


Obviously I was leaning that way, but now I am sold.Again, eating Thai.Coercive Utensils would be a good name for a band. (h/t Dave Barry)This capitalization is as Nice as the Chinese food I am not currently eating.OK.

the traditional and typical of Chinese glorious history.


In retrospect, should have had a comma after "Cchopsticks."whatAm I seriously supposed to be contemplating Chinese history as I am eating this Thai food? Ugh, fine, chopsticks-- you're the boss.This seems hella subjective for what should honestly be an unbiase…

Mash promo of the week

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SCENE OF MASH SCENE

WHAT IS THE REAL STORY BEHIND IT ANYWAY

IT'S ABOUT TIME WE TALKED ABOUT THAT THING THAT NO ONE EVER TALKED ABOUT

THAT THING IS THE SCENE OF MASH SCENE

#SCENEOFMASHSCENE

MASH OF SCENE MASH

SCENEY MASH MASH

IT WAS A SCENE FROM THE SHOW MASH THAT CREATED A BIG SCENE

NO ONE EVER TALKED ABOUT IT THOUGH

TOO DIFFICULT

"MOM, DAD- CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SCENE FROM MASH SCE-"

"DAMMIT MICHAEL NOW IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME"

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

BUT NOW IS FINALLY THE RIGHT TIME

OCTOBER 2017

LET US ALL COLLECTIVELY DISCUSS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

THE ELEPHANT IS THE SCENE OF MASH SCENE

"ELEPHANT MASHES SCENE, TURNS SCENE INTO MASH"

HOW LONG CAN WE DO THIS

IS IT OBVIOUS I AM TRYING TO AVOID *ACTUALLY* TALKING ABOUT THE SCENE OF MASH SCENE

AM I TRULY READY

NO ONE EVER TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE

ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT THE REAL STORY WAS

YOU KNOW WHAT

*&^% IT

SCENE OF MASH SCENE, LET'S GO

...

...

MASHY SCENE SCENE

I CAN'T DO THIS

Facebook meme of the week

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CAN'T ARGUE WITH SCIENCE

SCIENTIST LOOKING AT BLUE EYES THROUGH MICROSCOPE: WELL I'LL BE DAMNED-- THIS MOLECULAR STRUCTURE STRONGLY SUGGESTS AN UNUSUAL CAPACITY FOR PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY DURING HARD TIMES

SCIENTIST'S ASSISTANT: WOW IF WE'RE GOING TO PUBLISH THESE RESULTS WE'RE GOING TO NEED THE PERFECT SPOKESPERSON

SCIENTIST: DID YOU SAY SPOKESDUCK BECAUSE I'M TEN STEPS AHEAD OF YOU

BUT HOLD UP FAM




OH HELL NAW

I WILL ONLY VALUE WHAT MY FELLOW BLUE EYERS HAVE TO SAY

HIT ME OFF FAM



BLUED-EYED MURRAY BRIGHT HERE CHECKING IN ON THIS BLUE EYES MEME, SURNAME IS AS BRIGHT AS MY BLUE EYES, I USED TO BE YOUNG BUT NOW I AM OLD, PLEASE WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEXT MONTH WHEN YOU SEE ME ON THE MEME COMMENTING CIRCUIT, THIS HAS BEEN BLUE-EYED MURRAY BRIGHT HERE, ONCE CHECKING IN, NOW CHECKING OUT, BUT NOT BEFORE WISHING YOU A DAY AS BRIGHT AS ME AND MY BLUE EYES, I LOVE CATS




STARTING OFF YOUR COMMENT "WHAT'S *MORE* INTERESTING" ON A DONALD DUCK EYES MEME THAT …

Promo of the week

If I'm on the New York Giants social media team, I'm kind of laying low after the 0-4 start during which they've rushed for a combined 11 yards and the calls for firing their big-suit-wearing coach* have grown louder and louder.

UNLESS, that is, a panini app is at stake:

Download the @PaniniAmerica Blitz app https://t.co/JKAJjpAeqP  & get your #NYGiants digital trading card pack free w/ promo code BlitzGiants pic.twitter.com/6eqKjU48iK — New York Giants (@Giants) October 3, 2017


Downloading a digital trading card pack (?) from a panini business app after using a promo code is just about the most #socialmediaengagement I can handle at this particular moment in time. Then again, this tweet has currently received 49 more hearts/likes than anything I have ever posted on twitter dot com, so what do I know.


*I want to be clear that Ben MacAdoo wearing a tremendously big suit to the press conference announcing his hiring is my favorite New York sports story ever. I'm bein…

The reason: not the season

I grew a beard again.
I don't think anybody likes the beard. I think this because people say things like, “Oh, you uh … you grew a beard, huh?” WHY YES HOW DID YOU KNOW. With no compliments to offer, they then search for reasons to justify the absurdity on my face, and more than one person has commented, “For winter, right?” to which I agree, in part because, why not—hair growth should be as seasonal as vegetables, which is why I braid my eyebrows each spring—and also because I enjoy the notion that hair on my face will serve its Darwinian purpose of keeping me warm during these upcoming months of winter 2017-2018 during which I mostly plan to be watching old seasons of no-longer-hip TV shows on streaming apps as opposed to chopping wood in a distant, snow-filled forest to provide heat for my family.
At the heart of the outside world’s confusion and possible disgust is likely the fact that I am 39 and my beard is noticeably grey. Almost all of it is grey. It is grey, basically.…