Posts

Nextdoor posts of the week

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*MIGHT*

STILL THINKING ABOUT IT

CAN'T STOP ENVISIONING A SCENARIO WHERE ED'S COUSIN FRANK HAS BEEN PLAYING GUITAR FOR LIKE 15 YEARS AND HE SHOWS UP TO ED'S FAMILY PARTY AND SEES A HIRED GUITAR PLAYER AND IS LIKE "WTF ED, I EASILY COULD HAVE BROUGHT SHEILA"

(SHEILA IS FRANK'S GUITAR'S NAME)

AND ED IS LIKE "YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD FRANK BUT YOU'RE NOT SWEET ENOUGH FOR THIS PARTY"

ANYWAY THESE ARE THE THINGS I THINK ABOUT




ED HAS THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORE AND NOT ONLY DOES HE DEFINITELY WANT A SWEET GUITAR PLAYER, HE WOULD PREFER *MULTIPLE* SWEET GUITAR PLAYERS

"PLAYING IN HARMONY" AS OPPOSED TO TWO HIRED GUITAR PLAYERS RECRUITED ON THE INTERNET PLAYING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SONGS AT THE FAMILY GATHERING

SWEET BABY JAMES VERSUS SEX AND CANDY ... GO!

BTW ED IS THE SAME ED IN SEARCH OF A BBQ PROPANE TANK

ALSO:




PRETTY CLEAR BY NOW THAT ED HAS BEEN PLACED IN CHARGE OF PLANNING THE ANNUAL FAMILY GATHERING, WHICH HE HOPES WILL BE A BEACH SIDE C…

Nextdoor posts of the week

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I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS

1) HOW HAVE YOU RESISTED THE URGE TO WEAR THAT

2) HOW WILL MY FRIENDS KNOW IT'S GUCCI



WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY FRANK

SUBJECT: POOL LINER REPLACED

DID YOUR POOL LINER GET REPLACED OR DO YOU NEED YOUR POOL LINER TO BE REPLACED

MAYBE THE MESSAGE WILL SHED SOME LIGHT

IF YOU NEED A POOL LINER

OK GOT IT, LOOKS LIKE YOU HAD YOUR POOL LINER REPLACED SO YOU HAVE AN EXTRA ONE

BECAUSE BUYING SOMEONE'S OLD POOL LINER THAT THEY HAD TO HAVE REPLACED SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT WAY TO SAVE A FEW BUCKS

"I SPENT $40,000 ON THIS NEW POOL BUT I GOT A DISCOUNT LINER FROM FRANK, YOU CAN HARDLY NOTICE THE RIPS" IS WHAT I WILL PROUDLY SAY TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS AS THEY SCRATCH THEMSELVES ON THE LINER THAT IS STRETCHED ACROSS THE POOL LIKE A GARBAGE BAG THAT DOESN'T FIT A GARBAGE CAN

WE CAN GET A GOOD PRICE

WHO IS "WE"

YOU AND ME, YOU AND YOUR WIFE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

FOR MORE THEN TWO THAT I HAVE NOW

ARE WE EMBARKING ON A POOL LINER BUSINESS VENTUR…

Internet stuff of the week

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PERFECTION
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A DOPE MEME-MAKER SCORNED



-PEOPLE WHO AREN'T RACIST

-ART

-WHEN JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP SHORTENS HIS NAME

-CELEBRITY BISCUITS




IT'S ABOUT TIME

SICK AND TIRED OF UNTESTED BISCUITS

#UNTESTEDBISCUITS





BREAKING NEWS

PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE RESULT OF A SUPERTROOPERS-ESQUE BET TO SEE IF SOMEONE COULD USE THE WORD "CHEESEBURGER" FOUR TIMES IN A HEADLINE SERIES





IS ZERO MAYONNAISE

GAGGING

BUT I DO LIKE THE QUALIFIER "AT THE GROCERY STORE"

AS IF BUYING MAYONNAISE ISN'T BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU'RE GONNA DO SO AT A GAS STATION






CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S A GIANTS FAN NOW

I KNOW I SAY THIS A LOT BUT CASH ROADSTER HAS BEEN AN INDISPENSABLE SOURCE OF SURPRISING LEX LUGER NEWS





CANASTA STARVED

"I'M FEENIN' FOR A HIT OF THAT CANASTA" -- CINDY, AIMLESSLY WALKING THE STREETS OF TINTON FALLS

SHE'S NOT DONE THO




FULL LIFE = SAME HOUSE, FAMILY, UNLIMITED CANASTA





IS THERE NOWHERE SAFE FOR WHITES

I MEAN AT LEAST THINK OF THE CHI…

Facebook meme of the week

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I'VE SEEN 'EM ALL BUT THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST FRED FLINTSTONE "NICE PEOPLE GET TREATED LIKE SHIT" MEME

MY ONLY OBSERVATION IS THAT BARNEY WAS THE NICE ONE AND DIDN'T FRED KIND OF TREAT HIM LIKE CRAP SOMETIMES

JUST MAKES ME WONDER IF THIS MEME IS VERY MUCH TRUE




OK GREAT THEN LET US MOVE FORWARD WITH CONFIDENCE




"AND IF FORTITUDE AND GRACE NOT BE YOUR WILL, O LORD, THEN MAY THOU RECEIVE A FOOT UP THE ASS FRED FLINTSTONE STYLE ... AMEN"




THOSE *WHO* LOVE THE HARDEST

OTHERWISE, PERFECT

"THEY WILL KNOW HOW HARD I LOVED BY THE AMOUNT OF SHIT ON MY SHOULDERS" -- ANCIENT PROVERB




#SHITPEOPLE

FEELS LIKE MAYBE FRED FLINTSTONE WOULDN'T BE ENDORSING ALL OF THIS CURSING



WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN READING LATELY




HOW DO WE GET FRED FLINTSTONE SHIT-THEMED MEMES INTO K-12 CURRICULUM

THIS HONESTLY MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE INTERNET COMMENT




WHAT




KATHY JONES LEWIS HAS READ BETWEEN THE LINES AND NAILED WHAT THIS MEME IS ALL ABOUT:

FLINTSTONES REEEEEBOOOOOOOOT




THINK YOU …

MSN quick links of the week

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WHAT EVEN IS THIS

"WE NEED A STOCK PHOTO OF SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE SALT IN IT"

"DO SMART PHONES HAVE SALT"

"I DON'T THINK SO"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING HERE"




MAKES SENSE

THIS PICTURE LOOKS LIKE GOLD RUSH STAR TODD HOFFMAN JUST DISCOVERED HE HAS TO GIVE AWAY ALL HIS GOLD TO VIDEO GAMERS





"UNLEASHING" IS A STRONG WORD

SUBWAY: (UNLEASHES LOAF OF BREAD FROM PANTS AND VIOLENTLY SLAMS IT ON CONFERENCE ROOM TABLE, SHATTERING COFFEE MUGS AND INJURING NEARBY EXECUTIVES) BOOM BITCHES

WAS THE BREAD NOT FRESH BEFORE

WHAT IS A BREAD STYLE

PROJECT RUNWAY SEASON 18: BREAD

OR




IF I COULD PHOTOSHOP I WOULD CHANGE THIS TO ALL OF THEM WEARING SUBWAY BANDANAS AROUND THEIR NECKS AND HATS WITH FLAT BRIMS

SO JUST IMAGINE I DID THAT THNX





ODDS ARE AT LEAST ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD SAW THIS NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE NAME CHANGE AND WAS LIKE "OKAAAAAAAY"





OKAAAAAAY





HMMMM





WOW NOW THIS IS NEWS





I DON'T, UH ... I DON'T KNOW?

APOSTROPHE …

Statement of record

Hi.

Surely it’s been clear—even within the dumbest, most inane posts on here … so, all of them—where I stand on this president. And surely no one really cares what I think or have to say anyway. And surely so much has already been said, in much more intelligent, funnier, and more insightful ways than I could ever possibly think of or craft myself. And yet, when faced with the daily onslaught of lies and fear-mongering and deceit, and confronted with the frustrating fact that all of this is clearly out of my control—save for my votes and hopes—I feel compelled to do the simple act of stating the obvious: I do not support this president, and despise pretty much all of his character traits and impulsive decisions, and although I will refrain from the word “hate,” and although I am in no position to judge the soul, I find him to be an irredeemably bad person who has emboldened the worst of what this country has to offer and who—not through clever strategy but mindless instinct—has used fea…

Nextdoor posts of the week

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OH MY GAWD DO NOT HURT THE CHIPMUNKS

WHAT IS EVEN THE MATTER WITH YOU

THERE IS A LOT OF BAD STUFF HAPPENING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW BUT YOU'RE ORDERING CHIPMUNK REPELLENT ON AMAZON SO YOU WIN/LOSE

I MEAN




BTW AUGUST IS A MONTH NOT A YEAR

WHAT DO THE PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY




THANK YOU AMANDA

ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL DIALOGUE ON NEXTDOOR




ADULT DIAPERS GUY IS BACKBABY

ADULT DIAPERS AND UNDERPADS IS MY NEW FAVORITE NOVEL

"THEY PREVENT HUMAN TYPE ACCIDENTS ON THE BED"

CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC

LIKE WHEN I HIT REPLY ALL ... ON THE BED

ANYWAY YEAH, GONNA USE THESE POOP DIAPERS TO UH ... PACK MY ANTIQUES, YEAH THAT'S RIGHT

(THE ANTIQUES ARE MY BUTT)

IN ALL HONESTY I THINK BRIAN WORKS AT A NURSING HOME AND IS STEALING ADULT DIAPERS AND TRYING TO SELL THEM ON THE INTERNET

DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME THO I GUESS




DO YOU MEAN TOILET





YOU SHOULD TRY AN ART AUCTION PLACE

ALSO I BET YOUR ARTWORK IS VERY GOOD




THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS POST BUT ALSO

"HELLO JUDIE-- CANCEL YOUR…