Friday, July 22, 2016

Facebook meme of the week



SHARE THIS IF YOU REMEMBER WINDOWS DAMMIT

THE INTERNET IS ONE GIANT CHRIS FARLEY INTERVIEW

REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN THERE WERE WINDOWS

THAT WAS AWESOME



I’M NOT SURE BREAKING THESE WINDOWS IS AS EASY OR PRODUCTIVE AS YOU IMAGINE IN THIS VERY SPECIFIC SCENARIO

BUT THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF THE TODDLERS AND DOGS

NO ONE EVER THINKS OF THE TODDLERS AND DOGS



CATHY: REMEMBER VENT WINDOWS

DESIGNATED HITTER: WHAT

CATHY: I ALWAYS LIKED THE AIR FLOW THEY PROVIDED

DESIGNATED HITTER: ARE YOU THE NEW MANAGER, IS IT MY TURN TO BAT

CATHY: I DON’T KNOW THO I COULDN’T GIVE UP AIR CONDITIONING

DESIGNATED HITTER: I DON’T THINK VENT WINDOWS AND A/C ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, SKIP

CATHY: SO YOU AGREE AND IT’S SETTLED – WE CAN’T BRING THEM BACK, I’LL TELL THE OTHERS

DESIGNATED HITTER: HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH THE CLUBHOUSE



#WEEDPROBLEMS

IF YOU THINK LLOYD DWAYNE WINTERS HAS DOPE COMMENTS ON CAR WINDOW MEMES, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM ON 4/20



THANK YOU CHRISTINE

YOU ARE NOW LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO SHARE THIS

DO IT DAMMIT



THESE OLD STUPID WINDOWS ARE A GOOD REPRESENTATION OF BLUE-COLLAR AMERICAN VALUES



“WHERE HAVE YOU GONE CAR WING WINDOWS OUR NATION TURNS ITS LONLEY EYES TO YOU” – GEORGEANNA LARSEN SCREAMING INTO KARAOKE MIC



CROWD: OH NO THERE’S A TODDLER AND A DOG STUCK IN THAT 1982 STATION WAGON

PHIL GODWIN: EVERYONE OUTTA THE WAY I GOT THIS

PHIL GODWIN: DAMMIT

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Facebook meme of the week



THIS IS A REAL THING THAT HAPPENED

YOU KNOW IT’S BAD WHEN THE COMMENTERS ON THESE MEMES ARE BEING CRITICAL



DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS FOR COMMON SENSE TO BE SITTING ON THE FENCE BUT

AT LEAST

IT’S NOT

SITTING

ON

THE

COUCH



SORRY



I MEAN THIS IS A PARODY RIGHT



DAVID WARBURTON > BILL GATES AS THE POSTER CHILD FOR EDUCATION BEING OVERRATED

#MATTERSDEGREE

CEO: THIS COMPUTER PROGRAMMING JOB REQUIRES A MASTER'S DEGREE

DAVID WARBURTON: DON’T GOT ONE DON’T NEED ONE, I KNOW HOW *TO* DO ANYTHING HERE TALK TO MY WIFE

CEO: I DON’T (PHONE SHOVED IN FACE) UM HELLO … UH HUH … UH HUH … WOW REALLY HE DIDN’T EVEN READ THE INSTRUCTIONS … UH HUH … WELL I MEAN I WASN’T TALKING SEXUALLY BUT OK WOW … NO THANK *YOU* (HANGS UP) WELL IT LOOKS LIKE I WORK FOR YOU NOW

DAVID WARBURTON: THOUGHT SO



I CAN’T BELIEVE ALL THESE KIDS WHO GRADUATED FROM AUTO PARTS/WATER PUMP UNIVERSITY STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING

THIS EXTREMELY SPECIFIC THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AT NAPA AUTO PARTS ONE TIME IS DEFINITELY AN INDICTMENT ON OUR SOCIETY



(I STARE AT THE WACK OF DIPLOMAS IN MY OFFICE) YOU'RE ALL WACK (I KNOCK THEM OFF THE WALL VIOLENTLY, GLASS SHATTERS EVERYWHERE, I CRY UNCONTROLLABLY)



THAT REMINDS ME OF THE JOKE HOW MANY MILITARY UTILITIES MAN DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB

THE ANSWER IS IT TAKES ONE MILITARY UTILITIES MEN TO DO IT BECAUSE THE OTHER ONES ARE STUPID BECAUSE THEY’RE EDUCATED

THE PUNCHLINE TRANSLATES BETTER IN PERSON BECAUSE I DO A THING WITH MY HANDS



THE HOTTEST TAKE YET

YA BURNT



I NEVER WENT TO WHATEVER THAT IS EITHER



WHERE AM I

I WANT TO FILE A HARESMENT SUIT AGAINST THAT COMMENT



WELP WE FOUND THE GREATEST COMMENT, EVERYONE GO HOME



YOU RUINED IT AND I DON’T ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY



OK I AM HAPPY AGAIN

Friday, July 15, 2016

The greatest birthday message



I was scrolling through my timeline the other day for some reason and found this, and I am very disappointed I missed it originally and was deprived of two-plus months of enjoyment.

The explanation will, as it always does, kill the humor, but I kind of have to explain it, right? My dad's cousin is also named Mike Kenny, and I am friends with my second cousin on Facebook. Every now and then there's an honest mix-up with tagging among family, but there are worse Mike Kennys to be confused with, I suppose. Anyway, what I think happened here is that my second cousin attempted to write "Happy Birthday cuz!" on my timeline. The result is, like most things on this blog, probably only humorous to me. NEVERTHELESS.

- Chris

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Facebook meme of the week



UH WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

THESE MICE SISTERS ARE CRAY

IS THAT A LADYBUG ON THAT SYRINGE

I DON’T … WHAT

MAYBE I DON’T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I’M NOT A SISTER

LET’S HEAR IT FROM THE SISTERS WHO ARE CONNECTED BY THE HEART

SIAMESE SISTERS



WHAT BETTER PLACE TO WORK OUT YOUR DIFFERENCES THAN THE COMMENTS THREAD OF A SISTERS MEME FEATURING TWO DRUGGED-OUT MICE TANGLED IN ROPE

CYRENTHIA

IF YOU’RE STABBED IN THE HEART BY THE SISTER WITH WHOM YOU’RE CONNECTED AT THE HEART YOU BOTH DIE

IT’S THE CODE OF THE SISTERS



REBECCA: MOM KRISTEN HATES ME

MOM: SO WHAT WHO CARES

REBECCA: WAIT I WAS FISHING FOR YOU TO TELL ME SHE DOESN’T HATE ME SHE REALLY DOES OMG

MOM: THAT’S JUST THE WAY SHE IS … THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO PASSIONATELY HATES HER ONLY SISTER I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU

REBECCA: OH OK IF THAT’S JUST HOW SHE IS



STACY: WHAT’S UP GIRL

KARA: NOT MUCH SISTA SOLIDER HOW YOU LIVIN’ FAM

STACY: IT’S ALL GOOD HOW'S STEVE

KARA: HE'S GOOD TOOK THE KIDS TO ASTROLAND SO I'M TRYIN' TO CLEAN UP THE DANG MESS THEY LEFT LOL

STACY: OH HEY THAT REMINDS ME DID YOU SEE I TAGGED YOU IN A FACEBOOK COMMENT

KARA: OH WORD? HAVEN’T BEEN ONLINE YET HOLD UP LET ME CHECK THAT OUT RIGHT NOW …



“I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY THREE LOVELY DAUGHTERS – BARBARA, CRYSTAL, AND OF COURSE SHAMEEKA” – MRS. DOTTY ELLEN CHAMBERS



THAT’S A FINE SENTIMENT TONJI BUT I’M SORRY—THIS MEME IS ONLY INTENDED FOR ACTUAL HUMAN SISTERS OR MICE SISTERS, NOT (EXTREMELY EXAGGERATED AIR QUOTES) “GREAT LADIES IN LIFE’S JOURNEY” BARF ON A STICK



(LOUDSPEAKER VOICE) PLEASE REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS MEME

(PEGGY LOOKS UP, POINTS TO HERSELF WITH QUIZZICAL EXPRESSION)

YES YOU

(PEGGY LEAVES SHEEPISHLY)

CALL US WHEN YOU GET A SISTER LOL




RABNOTT SISTER 1: GIRLS MOM IS POSTING INCOHERENT COMMENTS ON MICE MEMES

RABNOTT SISTER 2: OMG I’M LOOKING AT THIS NOW DID SHE HAVE A MINI STROKE

RABNOTT SISTER 3: YOU B*TCHES DON’T EVEN CALL ME ANYMORE WHAT GIVES

RABNOTT SISTER 1: WE NEED TO STOP FIGHTING MOM IS IN TROUBLE

RANBOTT SISTER 3: K FINE WHATEVS



HOPE TO CATCH YOU AT THE FUNERAL SIS

SHOULD BE DOPE

Friday, July 08, 2016

Facebook meme of the week


ALL I NEED IS MY TRUSTY SNOW STEED AND MY NANNA

I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO OFFER THEM BUT MYSELF

BECAUSE I AM 6

PLUS THEY NEED ME

“I HATE YOU GET OFF ME” – HORSE



“SIT HERE NEXT TO ME ON THIS PARK BENCH YOUNG BILLINGSLEY SO I CAN SHARE PROFOUND WISDOM I LEARNED IN WORLD WAR II—YOU WILL KNOW YOUR TRUE FRIEND AND FAMILY ARE WHEN YOUR NOT ABLE ANGMORE I AM SO DAMN RIGHT”

"SIR ARE YOU OK SHOULD I CALL 911"



SHOUT OUT TO BERT SENIOR AND DEBBIE ALDRED

THERE ARE THE TRUSTY SNOW STEEEDS OF PAULA’S WEEK-ENDS



WOW WHO KNEW OLD PEOPLE WERE SO WISE

ONE TIME I MET AN OLD PERSON ON A PARK BENCH WHO WAS WEARING A PURPLE HEART AND HE TOLD ME “THE OLDER YOU GET THE MORE YOU REALIZE PEOPLE ARE THE WORST AND YOU GOTTA GET PAID, SON!”

I WAS LIKE WHOA

THEN HE GOT UP AND TOOK OFF HIS OLD PERSON MASK AND IT WAS REALLY KANYE WEST

I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY



UH SOUNDS LIKE *SOMEONE* NEEDS A HORSEY RIDE



HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE



FIRST OF ALL THIS LESSON IS ABOUT HORSES NOT BIRDS

SECOND OF ALL YOU SAID BUSH LOL



WAIT HOLD UP THIS SNOWY HORSE MEME ISN’T ABOUT SEX?



YOU’RE WELCOME?

ANYWAY I HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH A HORSE ONCE, DOES ANYONE KNOW IF THIS MEME IS EVEN TRUE



K COOL THNX

Wednesday, July 06, 2016

Facebook meme of the week



DAFFY DUCK SPEAKS THE TRUTH AND SAYS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING

IT’S COOL HOW A DUCK WITH A TERRIBLE LISP IS THE SPOKESDUCK FOR HOW WE SHOULD ALL SPEAK

IT’S UNFAIR THAT REAL AMERICANS WHO BENEFITED FROM THEIR ANCESTORS’ BRAVERY IN SETTLEMENT SHOULD HAVE TO PRESS AN ADDITIONAL BUTTON ON THEIR PHONES



WHO ARE “WE”

DO YOU MEAN DUCKS OR HUMANS

OR MAYBE YOU MEAN WHITES IN WHICH CASE THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS: NOT YET

EVENTUALLY THOUGH YOU WILL HAVE TO PRESS *TWO* AND I’M NOT SURE IF THERE’S A MEME OUT THERE THAT WILL ADEQUATELY CAPTURE YOUR FURY

MAYBE YOSEMITE SAM

*MAYBE*



PERFECT



JEFF DRAKE HAD TO SPEAK EUROPEAN FOR THREE YEARS

ENGLISH IS THE COUNTRY YOU RESIDE IN, LEARN TO SPEAK IT

“I PLEDGE ALL-ENGLISH TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF ENGLISH …” – JEFF DRAKE EVERY MORNING BEFORE EATING A BOAR HE KILLED FOR BREAKFAST



OMG THIS IS DAFFY HOW EMBARRASSING HOPEFULLY NO ONE NOTICES



DAMMIT



I AM ALREADY CONFUSED



FOR THE RECORD PENNY NEEDHAM WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS ISSUE BEFORE DAFFY DUCK

I’D HATE TO BE THE IMMIGRANT MOFO WITH EIGHT KIDS WHO PISSED OFF PENNY TO THE MAX

“PENNY FOR YOUR RACIST THOUGHTS?” – A GOOD QUESTION TO ASK PENNY WHEN SHE IS ARM-SHELFING IT IN THE KITCHEN WHILE PONDERING MOFOS



THANK YOU TOOTIE FOR YOUR ELOQUENT THOUGHTS ON LANGUAGE



THE PENNIES HAVE SPOKEN

INDEED IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY PUT THIS CLICHÉ 20-YEAR-OLD HACK COMEDIAN JOKE ON PAPER

SOMEONE PLEASE FILE THIS DAFFY DUCK MEME AT THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS SO WE CAN SIGN IT AND FINALLY DEPORT ALL MOFOS



LISTEN BUDDY WHEN I USE MY CHINESE CELL PHONE TO IMPORT MY BRAZILIAN FLOWERS WHILE HOVERING ON MY CANADIAN-FUELED JETPACK I EXPECT THE MOFO ON THE OTHER END TO SPEAK ENGLISH, IS ALL I’M SAYIN’

"THE NETHERLAND"

ONE NETHERLAND



WHERE DO I CLICK *SEE TRANSLATION*