Posts

Tweet of the week

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"What should we title our article about Todd Frazier maybe leaving town for Texas?"

"How about: 'Is Todd Frazier Leaving Town for Texas?'"

"Perfect. What about a subhead?"

"Hmmm, try this: 'Is Todd Frazier Leaving Town for Texas?'"

"Wow, this is great. So far I have: 'Is Todd Frazier Leaving Town for Texas?: Is Todd Frazier Leaving Town for Texas?'"

"Love it."

"Now, when we tweet this article out, how should I describe what the article is about?"

"Are we still talking about the article about Todd Frazier leaving town for Texas?"

"Yes."

"Try this: 'Is Ocean Counties very own Todd Frazier leaving town for Texas?'"

"Beautiful. By inserting 'Ocean Counties' in there you've really avoided any redundancy. Oh- should I spell 'Counties' as plural instead of possessive?"

"Of course. Here's why. There are multiple Ocean Count…

Nextdoor post of the week

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CHECKING IN TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS SMELLING GOOD IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD


OH NO

POO SMELL ALERT

💩📡💩📡

SO FAR WE HAVE RULED OUT CHRIS AND HIS CHILDREN'S FARTS

POTENTIAL POO SMELL CAUSES:

CHRIS AND HIS CHILDREN'S FARTS

ANY OTHER POSSIBILITIES



THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT MARTHA

POTENTIAL POO SMELL CAUSES:

CHRIS AND HIS CHILDREN'S FARTSTHERE IS NO POO SMELL


THE POO SMELL COULD BE POO

J/K THOUGH (?)

THIS IS CLEARLY A CASE OF KEITH HAVING AN AGENDA BUT HE'S ADDED MORE TO THE CONVERSATION THAN MARTHA SO WE'LL ALLOW IT

POTENTIAL POO SMELL CAUSES:

CHRIS AND HIS CHILDREN'S FARTSTHERE IS NO POO SMELLPOO


YES, BROCCOLI IS LIKE POO

POTENTIAL POO SMELL CAUSES:
CHRIS AND HIS CHILDREN'S FARTSTHERE IS NO POO SMELLPOOBROCCOLI


FERTILIZER FROM THE ADJACENT FARM? SEEMS PRETTY FAR FETCHED
ALSO HE'S NOT 100% SURE WHICH MAKES ME SKEPTICAL
IT'S LIKE, WHY AREN'T YOU 100% SURE ABOUT THE THING WE'RE ALL SPECULATING ABOUT, DAVID? PFFT
BY THE WAY I DID NOT ERASE THE LAST NAME BECA…

Internet stuff of the week

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MUSIC NOT WORKING

WIZARD OF OZ MUSIC BOX

HOW I FEEL WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO SELL ME A WIZARD OF OZ MUSIC BOX WITH NO MUSIC FOR $25



DULY NOTED

HEY EVERYONE, KEN MISSES OLD FASHIONED CHRISTMAS TREES, A SENTIMENT HE HAS CHOSEN TO EXPRESS ON NEXTDOOR.COM, PLEASE KEEP HIM IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME




WHERE ARE THE OTHER NINE TOP 10 CHARLIE CHAPLIN QUOTES

ALSO WTF IS THIS

WHY ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS

I AM DEPRESSED




GOOD NIGHT

SWEET DREAMS

WHOEVER MADE THIS IS LEGITIMATELY INSANE

(THAT WAS A POEM)




VODKE

THE JOKE WORKS BEST WHEN THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD IS SPELLED DIFFERENTLY EACH TIME

I MEAN WHO IS EDITING FB:HEART TOUCHING FUN




SETTING ASIDE THE BLATANT MISSPELLING, ARE WE REALLY IN NEED OF "I JUST FELL DOWN AND MUST IMMEDIATELY EXPRESS MYSELF" MEMES

AND WHO IS EDITING SHUT UP I'M STILL TALKING

THIS FAILS TO LIVE UP TO THE LOFTY STANDARDS SET FORTH BY SHUT UP I'M STILL TALKING IN ITS MISSION STATEMENT




AH WELL

GOOD NIGHT

SWEET DREAMS

Grandma memes of the week

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FOUND A PAGE ON FACEBOOK CALLED "I'M A GRANDMA. I LOVE MY GRANDKIDS"

GREAT NAME FOR A FACEBOOK PAGE

BETTER MEMES

LET'S GO




DID A GROOVY OLD GRANDMA WRITE THIS



NORMALLY I FEEL LIKE THAT STATEMENT IS HYPERBOLIC BUT IN THIS CASE I AGREE!!!!!


WHO IS MESSING WITH THE GRANDBABES



PLEASE LEAVE THE GRANDBABES ALONG

ACTUALLY NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT ONE TIME I SAW A GRANDBABE GET ROASTED FOR HAVING A BIG FOREHEAD AND OUT OF NOWHERE THIS OLDER WOMAN HOLDING A GLASS OF MERLOT JUST STARTED DROP-KICKING THESE NINE-YEAR-OLDS IN THE FACE

SO THIS IS GRAMMATUDE I REMEMBER THINKING TO MYSELF AT THE TIME

ANYWAY THIS IS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW, NOT SURE WHY I NEVER MENTIONED IT

GROSS

WHAT EVEN IS THIS, WHO IS THIS FOR





I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL




MAINLY AT THE MOMENT I AM STRUGGLING WITH GRANDMA MEMES THAT DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE

BUT ALSO, AS A GRANDMA, I AM STRUGGLING WITH FINDING A MEME THAT COMBINES MY LOVE OF FRIDAY AND MY FABULOUSNESS AT BEING A GRANDMA




WOW THANK YOU, THIS H…

Instagram account of the week

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DO YOU LIKE LIONS

I MEAN WHO DOESN'T LIKE LIONS, AMIRITE FOLKS

BUT DO YOU LIKE LIONS AS MUCH AS *THIS* GUY

DOUBTFUL



WE'VE ALL HAD DREAMS OF DEDICATING OUR INSTAGRAM FEEDS ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY TO LION MEMES, BUT ALAS #LIFE GETS IN THE WAY

THANKFULLY THERE IS A ONE-STOP SHOP FOR ALL OF YOUR LION CONTENT

NO LION CAN BE KING WITHOUT HIS LIONESS

SO TRUE (?)

WANNABE KING WHO DOESN'T WANT TO SETTLE DOWN WITH A GOOD WOMAN SCROLLING THROUGH INSTAGRAM AND SEEING THIS MEME: WOW, I NEED TO CHANGE MY #LIFE

DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE A MORE INSPIRING LION MEME


I STAND CORRECTED

EVEN THE LION IS MOTIVATED BY THESE WORDS

"I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GO ON FOR SOME REASON, BUT I MUST BECAUSE I AM A LION" - THIS LION

BY THE WAY THIS MEME WAS SENT TO THIS GUY-- HE DIDN'T PURSUE IT ON HIS OWN

LION MEMES JUST TEND TO FIND HIM, IT'S ALL A COINCIDENCE



THIS IS CLEARLY THE SAME WIND MACHINE BEYONCE USED AT COACHELLA BUT I'LL LET IT SLIDE

IS THERE SUCH THING AS A LION MEME INTERVE…

Facebook memes of the week

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I REMEMBER THIS QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS

HORNY DWARF WAS REALLY PUT IN HIS PLACE AS A RESULT





THE MEME SO NICE SHERRY AMEN-ED IT TWICE



HMMM TOUGH ONE BUT I THINK THE RAPIST WILL BE TO BLAME

CAN I GET AN AMEN



THANK YOU

ALL OF THESE AMENS ARE IMPORTANT- ESPECIALLY HLOKS HLOKOLOZA LEKGARI'S OBVIOUSLY- BUT IT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO HEAR WHAT BETTY BOOP THINKS



WOW I AM SO HUMBLED

THANK YOU BETTY BOOP AND THANK YOU JAN

BETTY BOOP IS FAMOUS FOR NOT BEING A WEIRD-ASS BIG-HEADED CARTOON WITH A MIDDLE PART WHO FLAUNTS HER SEXUALITY

THIS WOULD BE LIKE DAFFY DUCK HAVING A MEME THAT SAID "STOP SPINNING AROUND LIKE A LUNATIC AND SMELL THE ROSES" AND THE TASMANIAN DEVIL WAS LIKE "AMEN"

THAT WAS MY STRAINED SEGUE TO THE NEXT MEME





WHAT

THE POLICE CALLED YOU INSTEAD OF THE ESCAPEE'S IMMEDIATE FAMILY TO TELL YOU THAT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ESCAPED "FROM MENTAL HOSPITAL" BECAUSE THE POLICE KNEW THAT THIS PERSON WAS YOUR FRIEND BUT THEY DIDN'…

Nextdoor posts of the week

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DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT DAY IS HO HO HO AND WHAT TIME HE WILL COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY



BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT THIS AND I HAVE TO SAY, OF THE TWO COMMENTS HERE SUZANNAH HAS PROVIDED THE BETTER ADVICE

WHEN BEING FORCED TO MAKE AN EXCRUCIATING DECISION ABOUT POSSIBLY HAVING TO GIVE UP THE FAMILY PET, YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU SEEK THE MOST TRUSTED SOURCE OF VALUABLE, WISE, AND EMPATHETIC COUNSEL, WHICH IS THE SAME SITE WHERE YOU CAN BUY ADULTS DIAPERS ON THE CHEAP




"CAN'T TALK NOW, I HAVE TO LOG ON TO NEXTDOOR.COM TO ONE-UP THIS FROG JOKE" - ALYSON

PLEASE DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS, HARRIET

I DON'T THINK A FROG IS PEST BTW



"WENT TO BUY LONGJOHNS AND ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT A GOLDEN TWIN CANOPY BED"

"I'VE BEEN INFORMED IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE TO RETURN"

ALL OF THIS CHECKS OUT



NOT GONNA CLICK "SEE MORE" BECAUSE THIS IS PERFECT

MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY
HOW DID YOUR FRIEND'S YARD SALE GO
DID SHE SELL SILVER BELLS AND COCKLE SHELLS
OR DID NO ONE …