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Facebook meme of the week

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WILD HORSES COULDN'T STOP ME FROM TYPING "YES"




"THIS PICTURE OF A COWBOY IN AN OVERCOAT WALKING BETWEEN A HORSE AND A SMALLER COWBOY HAS REMINDED ME THAT NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE GOING TO CHURCH THESE DAYS"

MAKES SENSE

NOT TO BE A HORSE'S ASS BUT: *FEWER* BELIEVERS

ALSO: COMMAS CANNOT BE ELLIPSES

ALSO: WHAT

ELIZABETH WRIGHT IS THE FIRST KNOWN "PERSON" TO HAVE HER FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED AFTER READING FACEBOOK COMMENTS




ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING THINGS ABOUT OLDER FOLKS IS HOW THEY'RE ABLE TO ACCIDENTALLY ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE WHEN FUMBLING THEIR WAY THROUGH TECHNOLOGY, SUCH AS MANAGING TO INSERT A COMMA BELOW A "K" ON A FACEBOOK COMMENT

YOU COULD GIVE ME A MONTH TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THAT AND I WOULD FAIL

OTHER THAN THAT THOUGH THIS COMMENT IS PERFECT AND USES PREPOSITIONS WELL AND IS NOT MISSING ANY WORDS AND IS NOT SEEMINGLY TARGETED AT NO ONE IN PARTICULAR AND HAS STRICTLY ADHERED TO THE INSTRUCTIONS TO "TYPE 'YES'&q…

Nextdoor posts of the week

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DJ ELECTRA IS BACK ON LAND FOLKS

"A PROFESSIONAL DJ *AND* MOTIVATOR" WHERE DOES SHE FIND THE TIME

PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER: IT SAYS HERE YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL DJ *AND* MOTIVATOR, CARE TO ELABORATE?

DJ ELECTRA: I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY OF INTERVIEWS AND YOU'D RATHER BE HOME, BUT WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO NOW IS RAISE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, AND WAVE 'EM LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE

PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER: (HANDS UP) WOW YOU'RE GOOD

DJ ELECTRA LIVES IN WALL, HOPE THIS IS HELPFUL AS THERE IS NO OTHER CONTACT INFORMATION

PLEASE LOOK UP DJ ELECTRA IN THE YELLOW PAGES UNDER "SERVICE > REASONABLE DJS" OR "MOTIVATORS"

SHE IS LISTED UNDER "DJ ELECTRA!!!" THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS

ANYTHING FEWER THAN THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS IS THE WRONG DJ ELECTRA; ANYTHING MORE IS ABSURD

GOOD LUCK




LOOKS LIKE SUSAN REMEMBERED TO ADD DJ ELECTRA'S CONTACT INFO BUT I ENJOY THIS POST MUCH MORE ON ITS OWN AND OUT OF CONTEXT

"I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH NEXTDO…

Anatomy of a Twitter exchange

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If you’ve read The Man in the Garlic Tuxedo(and if you haven't, WHY NOT?), you know that my father-in-law has one of the more fascinating if infrequently utilized Twitter feeds in the Twitterverse. It’s so underutilized, in fact, that it sometimes opens itself up to hacking, which only adds to the overall quality:

Rayban 80th Anniversary Sale,All Made in a Legitimate Factory,Come With New Box And Certificates!>> rbusnu,com — Tony Ursino (@bklynrlty) January 1, 2017
Classic. But I had noticed some curious action recently from my father-in-law on Twitter that included him congratulating, in separate cases, the Colts Neck Police Department and Bill Gates, which, sure, I guess. But I’ve never known him to be passionate about either of those things, so I wondered whether he’d been hacked again, and I explored this possibility by examining his Twitter timeline. 

The jury's still out, mainly because it's nearly impossible to differentiate an actual tweet from one a foreign bot …

Facebook meme of the week

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I REALIZE THERE'S A LOT GOING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW BUT I GOTTA ASK



WELL





"U MAKE SOUND MEATLOAF IS PREHISTORIC" IS THE MEATLOAF OF COMMENTS

I MEAN DAMN PAT INGLES- COMMENTS AREN'T LIKE A MEATLOAF RECIPE WHERE YOU CAN JUST THROW A BUNCH OF WORDS IN THERE, MIX IT ALL AROUND AND HOPE IT WORKS OUT





IF YOU SHOWED ME THIS MEME AND TOLD ME SOMEONE NAMED DICK DODSON COMMENTED ON IT BUT I HAD TO GUESS THE COMMENT, THIS WOULD BE MY EXACT GUESS, VERBATIM





THANK YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE




DAMN GIRL OK WE GET IT

IMAGINING THIS IS THE "SEACREST, OUT" OF SOUTHERN WOMEN AND MARILYN ENDS EVERY CONVERSATION WITH AN EMPHATIC "PIQUANT SAUCE"




OH FOR REAL






YOU CAN'T GET IN THE MEATLOAF? HOW IRONIC. ALSO THIS RESTAURANT SOUNDS AWFUL AND YOUR OTHER FAVORITE RESTAURANT IS DEFINITELY GOLDEN CORRAL



I AM HONESTLY GOING TO THROW UP, HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE




WHO SAYS WE CAN'T HAVE PRODUCTIVE DIS

Nextdoor posts of the week

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"BROAD CERTIFIED" IN A POST SEEKING AN OBGYN IS THE GREATEST TYPO THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED

IT'S ALMOST ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU OVERLOOK THE OVERALL WTF-NESS

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, ALL GREAT MEDICAL SUCCESS STORIES START WITH NEXTDOOR

" ... AND THAT'S HOW MILLIE WAS BORN AND ALSO HOW MY LIFE WAS SAVED"

"WOW WHERE DID YOU FIND SUCH AN EXCELLENT DOCTOR"

"REMEMBER THAT WEBSITE I TOLD YOU ABOUT WHERE I FOUND THE KNOCKOFF FINGERLINGS MONKEY ..."




"NOT SURE IF THIS MONKEY YOU PUT ON YOUR FINGER IS EVEN REAL SO LET'S START THE BIDDING AT $10"

TWO YEARS LATER

"I WOULD LIKE TO FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU- THIS FINGERLINGS MONKEY I PURCHASED ON NEXTDOOR IN 2018 TURNED OUT TO BE INAUTHENTIC"

BBB: HOW DID YOU DISCOVER IT WAS A FAKE

"I PLACED IT ON MY PENIS AS A JOKE AND IT RUPTURED"

BBB: THE MONKEY OR YOUR PENIS

"BOTH"




MERRY CHRISTMAS, SHITTER'S FULL

THE SKEPTICISM KILLS ME

"LIS…

Internet stuff of the week

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ENJOYING THIS STOCK PHOTO OF A WOMAN KNITTING "F*** YOU, BARBARA" INTO AN AFGHAN




THIS IS A PARODY OF A BUZZFEED HEADLINE RIGHT

KUDOS TO THEDAY TRADINGROOM-- NAILED IT

20 THINGS IS SO MANY THINGS TO IDENTIFY AS SPECIFICALLY RELATING TO ONE BREED OF CAT BUT OK

ALSO AT FIRST I THOUGHT COON CAT WAS THE BREED AND THIS WAS TARGETED ONLY AT PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MAINE *AND* OWN COON CATS, WHICH IS ONLY SLIGHTLY MORE ABSURD

ANYWAY

WAS WONDERING IF ANY MORE PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES ARE LIVING IN GORGEOUS HOUSES WITH THEIR PARTNERS



COOL




THIS IS A GOOD ADVERTISEMENT FOR CASH ROADSTER

AFTER SEEING THIS I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT CASH ROADSTER, AND ALSO ABOUT TROY POLAMALU AND HIS BABY PARTNER

CAN'T IMAGINE A BETTER ADVERTISEMENT FOR CASH ROADSTER TBH





I STAND CORRECTED

I THOROUGHLY ENJOY THE FALSE PREMISE OF THESE TEASER LINKS

TEASER LINK: WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF THE UNDERTAKER'S SON

ME: UH NONE. WAIT WHAT

TEASER LINK: WELL HAVE I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU

REAL QUICK THO-- HOW AB…

Teaser links of the week

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BIG IF TRUE

MAN'S FRIEND: SO HOW WAS PARIS

MAN: PFFFT I DON'T KNOW I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS

MAN'S FRIEND: (LOGS ON IMMEDIATELY TO EXTRA CRISPY WHICH IS HIS HOMEPAGE FOR NEWS) HOLY SH*T



DO YOU KNOW HOW PHOTOSHOP WORKS

ME: (PHOTOSHOPS GRITTY INTO BACKGROUND OF V-J DAY IN TIMES SQUARE, SUBMITS IT TO DIRECTEXPOSE)

DIRECTEXPOSE: OMG HOW DID WE NEVER NOTICE THIS

ANYWAY WHAT'S NEW WITH PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES





HARD TO BELIEVE A HANDSOME SUPERSTAR NFL QUARTERBACK HAS A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN MISLED BY MORTGAGE AFTER LIFE BEFORE SO ... SOLD

BUT UNTIL I'M TOLD OTHERWISE I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT THEY DO *NOT* LIVE IN A GORGEOUS MANSION




TRADING BLVD INTERN: WHAT PHOTO SHOULD WE USE FOR THE BREAKING NDAMUKONG SUH GORGEOUS MANSION STORY? I WAS THINKING ONE WHERE HE'S PLAYING FOOTBALL OR MAYBE ONE WHERE HE'S IN FRONT OF HIS GORGEOUS MANSION

TRADING BLVD CEO: THIS ISN'T SPORTS ILLUSTRATED OR MORTGAGE AFTER LIFE SON, THIS IS GD TRADING BLVD! MY FAT…