Friday, September 15, 2017

Facebook meme of the week



"IF MY BODY *WERE* A CAR"

YOU HAVE ONIONS IN YOUR RADIATOR?

OF COURSE I KID, THIS IS A GREAT MEME ABOUT OLD PEOPLE'S PEE PEE AND FARTS

AND A GREAT VISUAL I MIGHT ADD

IS THAT A NORMAN ROCKWELL STATUE

ANYWAY WHAT DOES EVERYONE THINK ABOUT THIS PEE PEE AND FARTS MEME




I DO NOT GET THIS JOKE

LIKE AT ALL

WHY DID THE WOMAN GO TO A CHEMIST FOR PEE PEE AND FART PROBLEMS

WHY WILL SHE NOT DARE TO COUGH

I AM VERY ANGRY AT THIS TERRIBLE NON-JOKE

IT'S LIKE GEORGE HAS BEEN STASHING THIS IN HIS HOLSTER JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MEME TO COME ALONG

BIG FAIL HERE BY GEORGE

SPEAKING OF BIG FAILS




WHOEVER CREATES THESE AWFUL MEMES READS COMMENTS LIKE THIS AND IS LIKE "YUP STILL GOT IT"

ONE THING I'VE LEARNED FROM EXAMINING THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF COMMENTS ON AWFUL MEMES: THE BETTY BOOP CONTINGENT WILL NOT HESITATE TO COMMENT DESPITE BEING BASICALLY ILLITERATE




RON PALON (GIVING A TOAST AT 25TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY): I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE A CLICHE BUT WE MET IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OF A PEE PEE AND FARTS MEME

MARGARET (DRUNK ON WHITE WINE): HE HARASSED ME!

RON: SHUTUP YOU STUPID BI-

DJ (GRABS MIC): HOW BOUT WE ALL "LIKE TO KNOW YOU AND BE FRIENDS" ... ON THE DANCE FLOOOOOOOOOOOR





OH DEAR

"HI ROBNICK (?!) I LOVE YOUR LOOKS, AND IT TURNS ME ON WHEN YOU AGREE WITH MEMES ABOUT HAVING FARTS LIKE EXHAUST FUMES, OH YEAH BABY ADD ME UP"

I AM SORRY




WELL THANK YOU ELAINE

FOR A SECOND THERE I WAS WORRIED THAT THIS LEVEL OF DISCOURSE HAD ELEVATED US TO DIVINE IMMORTAL KINGS, AND THAT BY SOME CRUEL IRONY WE SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF OUR PEE PEE AND FARTS




WT ACTUAL F

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Facebook meme of the week



OK JERRY THE MOUSE

HOLD UP JERRY ARE YOU RAISING YOUR HAND OR JUST PRESENTING THE MEME

CAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU EVER REALLY TRUSTED TOM IN THE FIRST PLACE

ANYWAY I'M NITPICKING- EVERYTHING IN THIS MEME IS TIGHT AND GRAPHICALLY PLEASING

SO LET'S DO THIS




AND WE'RE OFF

YOU JEALOUS FAM?

JK YOU ARE DEFINITELY BETTER OFF

IF ONLY HE COULD SEE YOU NOW, SPITTING TRUTH IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OF TOM AND JERRY MEMES




WOW THAT IS SPECIFIC BUT EERILY RELEVANT IN THIS CASE





WHAT

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALTERNATIVE OLIVER IS TRYING TO SAY BUT I'M NOT HANGING AROUND TO FIND OUT




I HEARD TAKING OVER THE COUNTER LOVERS WHO DEMAND SIMPATHY WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION CAN MAKE YOU [SIC]

AT WALGREENS, MAN POPS OUT FROM BEHIND DISPLAY OF TOOTHPASTE

HELLO MY NAME IS FRANK I AM A VERY NICE GUY, TOO BAD I WAS AN ORPHAN AS A CHILD AND NOW I HAVE GOUT, ANYWAY WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ME JUGGLE

DORALENE: OH NO I'M NOT FALLING FOR THIS AGAIN




OH I GET IT BECAUSE CHARLIE BROWN TRUSTS LUCY WITH THE FOOTBALL

I SEE YOUR CARTOON MEME AND I RAISE YOU A CARTOON REFERENCE

FOR MY NAME IS R RAY ARLETTE ARLETTE




WOW A LOT TO TAKE IN HERE

FIRST OF ALL I DID NOT ANTICIPATE THIS MUCH TALK OF ALCOHOLISM WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS JERRY THE MOUSE MEME

ALSO I JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR: A TWO FACE BITCH BACKSTABBED YOU UNDER YOUR NOSE (?) AND IT TURNED OUT SHE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND DRUG ADDICT AND ALSO PROSTITUTE AND MOTHER AND THIS HAPPENED TO YOU THREE TIMES

THAT'S ON YOU FAM



IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME I HAD TO SAY THIS:

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT SEBASTIAN BOLT




I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT HENRY J ROY

WHOEVER YOU ARE- STOP BITING HENRY J ROY IN THE ASS

IT COULD RESULT IN HENRY J ROY NEVER TRUSTING AGAIN

AND ALSO A BADLY INJURED ASS

THANK YOU



Tuesday, August 29, 2017

MSN quick links of the week

I WONDER WHAT PLACES PAINTERS LOVE




K COOL THANKS

THEY PROLLY LOVE THESE PLACES BECAUSE THEY CAN PAINT THERE

SOME PLACES DON'T LET YOU PAINT THERE

LIKE ANNIE'S PRETZELS

TO CITE BUT ONE EXAMPLE

ANYWAY

BEEN THINKIN' ABOUT INVESTING IN A MINI FOOD PROCESSOR




K COOL THANKS

SO MUCH FOR MY "HUMMUS, PARTY OF ONE" IDEA

ANOTHER THING I'VE BEEN THINKI-





AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMG IS IT GONE

WHEW WOW OK WHERE WERE WE

OH YEAH FOOD




FINALLY

NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY FIRST LADIES HAVE TO KEEP THIS SECRET UNTIL THEY'RE OUT OF OFFICE

BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE KNOW NOW

REFINERY29 EDITOR: AND CAN GET A PICTURE OF HER WHERE SHE'S MAKING THE "OOOHHH THAT'S ACTUALLY THE ONE FOOD I JUST DON'T LIKE" FACE

REFINERY29 INTERN: GOT IT




"THE BROMANCE" LOGO PAIRS WELL WITH THIS HEADLINE

WTF




SATISFYING HEADLINES LIKE THIS ARE WHY I LOG ON TO THE INTERNET ERRRRRDAY

I CAN TELL YOU WHAT'S *NOT* THE PROBLEM WITH THE GUT MICROBES OF MODERN HUNTER-GATHERERS-- THE OODLES OF REVENUE EARNED BY ADVERTISERS THANKS TO THIS INVITING TEASER LINK

IN A WAY I AM A MODERN HUNTER-GATHERER BECAUSE I HUNT FOR DOPE TEASER LINKS AND GATHER THEM ON MY BLOG FOR CONSUMPTION

AS A RESULT MY GUT MICROBES ARE ... WELL THEY'RE OK I GUESS

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS THOUGH THE ONE BIG PROBLEM WITH THE GUT MICROBES IS PROBABLY THE WHEAT-- TOO MUCH WHEAT




THAT *IS* AN ODD TREND

IS THE "WHERE'S THE BEEF" LADY STILL ALIVE BECAUSE I HAVE AN IDEA

THE IDEA IS THAT SHE WILL SAY "WHERE'S THE WHEAT" INSTEAD OF WH-





AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'M GETTIN' OUTTA HERE

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Facebook meme of the week



UHHH IS THAT ALL

IS THERE A PUNCHLINE OR SOMETHING

LIFE LESSON

NAH, JUST A SAD PANDA MEME?

OK I GUESS

LET'S ROLL WITH IT




HERE IS A SEGMENT WE CALL "GREAT MOMENTS IN INTERNET DIALOGUE" COURTESY OF BEVERLY AND ETHAN

TO RECAP

BEVERLY: THIS SAD MEME IS SAD

ETHAN: 'SUP GIRL

BEVERLY: PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SAD LIKE PANDAS SO BACK OFF

DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS SAD MEME IS SAD




THIS OPINION SEEMS CONTRARIAN





RJ HENIO'S CREW: YA'LL SEEN THAT PANDA MEME

RJ HENIO: OH THAT SAD

RJ HENIO'S CREW: SAY WORD

...

...

(EVERYONE CRIES)




THAT PANDA WILL KILL YOU




WHAT

ARE YOU DRINKING BEER RIGHT NOW JOHN BECAUSE YOUR COMMENT IS GARBLED NONSENSE




THIS KIND OF FISHING FOR INTERNET AFFECTION IS WHY MEMES WERE INVENTED IN THE FIRST PLACE

THANK YOU SAD PANDA MEME, AND THANK YOU EVERYONE

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

The foot doctor inquiry




HMMM WONDER WHAT THIS IS ABOUT




YO YO YO PHIL THAT SUCKS M'MAN BUT I HAVE SOME POINTS TO MAKE:

1) TMI

2) AIN'T NOBODY TRYIN' TO THINK ABOUT PHIL'S FEET AT 11:40AM SO CLOSE TO LUNCH DAMN

3) THIS IS A NEIGHBORHOOD SOCIAL MEDIA GROUP FOR LIKE FINDING A LOST CAT OR HAVING A GARAGE SALE OR WHATEVER

4) SAVE THE FOOT STUFF FOR TINDER NA MEAN

5) IS YOUR MISSPELLING SOME TYPE OF FREUDIAN POSITIVE OUTLOOK BECAUSE IF SO:

6) NICE

7) LEMME GUESS YOU NEED A FOOT DOCTOR




IMMA BE HONEST PHIL- HERE ARE THE THINGS I CAN CONFIDENTLY RECOMMEND:

1) INTERNET SEARCH ENGINES

2) REUBEN SANDWICHES

3) DOPE ALBUMS THAT HAVE RECENTLY DROPPED

4) DECENT FOOT DOCTORS

5) CONTACTING YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE PROVIDER

6) FOOT PODCASTS

7) A NEW BOOK CALLED HOW TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO SOLICIT PERSONAL MEDICAL ADVICE IN THE AGE OF GOOGLE BY ME

8) CHAPTER ONE: DON'T

9) THAT IS THE WHOLE BOOK

ANYWAY YOU'LL NOTICE THAT NOT INCLUDED AMONG THESE THINGS IS A GREAT FOOT DOCTOR WITH A CAPITAL D

FOR THAT I AM SORRY

BUT ALSO NOT SORRY BECAUSE WTF MAN

ALSO GOOD LUCK

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Facebook meme of the week



AT FIRST I WASN'T SURE WHAT IT WAS UNTIL I SAW DUDE SLIDING DOWN IT

IT'S A SLIDE

PRETTY SURE DUDE BROKE HIS COCCYX AFTER THIS RUN

"BARBARA, CANCEL MY MEETING WITH FRANKLIN & ASSOCIATES AND TELL THEM IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SLIDE. I BROKE MY BUTT ... HAVING SEX."

BUT AT LEAST HE YOLO'D




TO FOLLOW UP:

1) NO
2) WHAT
3) YOU WOULD USE THE STAIRS TO GET BACK TO THE TOP. THE STAIRS ARE RIGHT THERE
4) OR THE STAIRS





"... UNLESS THAT GAME IS SLIDING DOWN THE JOURNEY OF LIFE WITH ME FROM NOW UNTIL ETERNITY. IS THIS INDOOR SLIDE MEME COMMENT THREAD THE RIGHT PLACE TO FIND A SERIOUS WOMAN"




"ALAS IT SEEMS NOT." - RAY (AKA EMMY RAY)




IT *IS* CRAZY THAT HE (MAN PICTURED) REALLY LIKES [THE SLIDE]

BUT NOT AS CRAZY AS YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THIS COMMENT THREAD

SO YOU WIN, HELEN HALL




I DON'T SEE WHY NOT, EDDIE EIDDIE

GUYS- EDDIE EIDDIE LOVES OUR STUFF AND WANTS TO HELP

I DON'T KNOW WHICH ADMINISTRATOR HE NEEDS TO CONSULT WITH BUT LET'S MAKE HIM A PART OF THE TEAM, HE SEEMS CHILL AND NORMS

MAY I SUGGEST PUTTING EDDIE EIDDIE IN CHARGE OF PROOFREADING

WHATEVER, YOU GUYS DECIDE

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMITMENT TO FURTHERING THE MISSION OF THIS MEME, EDDIE EIDDIE

ANYWAY DOES ANYONE OUT THERE *NOT* LIKE THIS MEME




OH MY

SOMEONE CONNECT NANCY WITH EDDIE EIDDIE AND LET'S FIND OUT WHERE WE WENT WRONG HERE

"HOLD ON I GOT THIS. I KNOW WHEN A WELL UNDERSTANDING WOMAN NEEDS CONSOLING." - RAY (AKA EMMY RAY)

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Facebook meme of the week



LOL I AM FEELING THIS MEME

IT HAS REALLY PUT A SMILE ON FACE

*MY* FACE THAT IS

MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS MEME IS HOW DAFFY DUCK IS STRAIGHT WALKING INTO DUDE'S CART WHILE COMPLAINING ABOUT WALKING BEHIND HIM

MEANWHILE DUDE IS LIKE




"JUST TRYING TO BUY SOME GROCERIES FOR MY FAMILY...

"WTF IS HAPPENING WITH THIS BELLIGERENT DUCK"

I WONDER IF THEY USED DONALD DUCK FOR THIS MEME AT FIRST BUT THEN WERE HOLD UP, IS THIS RACIST

ANYWAY LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED "WHO KNOWS HOW TO SPELL 'AISLE'"




NOPE

BUT OTHERWISE VERY COHERENT




NOT QUITE

BUT I AGREE THAT PEOPLE CHATTING WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS SHOULD GET A CATTLE PROD

HETTY WOLFS FOR MAYOR OF SHOPRITE




THOSE BANISHED TO THE 'ISLE OF MISFIT COMMENTERS' WAIT IN VAIN FOR ANGER CLAUS TO VISIT EVERY YEAR

OK SO NOBODY WON THAT GAME

WHAT ELSE WE GOT




OBVIOUSLY THE SLOW WALKERS PUT ON NOTICE BY THIS DOPE MEME EXCLUDES THOSE WHO ARE BLIND IN ONE EYE

BUT HOLD UP



"I'M NO OPTOMETRIST AND I AM ADMITTEDLY DISTRACTED BY ALL THE FLOWERS BUT ... THAT EYE LOOKS FINE TO ME" - GROCERY STORE POLICE




"MY WIFE                  ALSO HAS SPACE BAR RAGE!" - YOUR HUSBAND





THIS IS SOLID EXISTENTIAL ADVICE

I *SHOULD* BE MORE PAY CHE, I KNOW

BUT IT'S TOUGH IN THE GROCERY STORE

OK FINE I WILL TRY HARDER




IF ONLY THERE WERE AN EASIER WAY TO LIKE MEMES ON FACEBOOK