Posts

Showing posts from March, 2017

Facebook meme of the week

Image
THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE

COUNTERPOINT: PUPPY!


AND WE'RE OFF

"BITCHESS" IS AN UNINTENTIONAL COOL TERM

THANK YOU DEBBI FOR YOUR BRAVERY IN THE FACE OF BITCHES THINKING THEY'RE THE SHIT



WHAT

YOU ARE OVERDRESSED FOR THAT COMMENT IMO




PETER RODRIGUEZ IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THIS MEME HAS TARGETED HIM AS A "STRESSFUL SITUATION" ON WHICH TO GET PEED AND HE IS FIRING BACK WITH SECOND-GRADE LEVEL RESPONSES AND IMPROPER PUNCTUATION

(PETER RODRIGUEZ READS INTERNET MEME)

"I! KNOW YOU. ARE BUT WHAT AM I:"

(PETER RODRIGUEZ READS INTERNET MEME)

"I'M RUBBER YOU'RE? GLUE. WHAT%EVER YOU SAY. BOUNCES! OFF ME AND STICKS TO- YOU"


YOU DON'T SAY



LOL INDEED

BUT HOLD UP IS THAT ...


MAYBE USE A TEMPORARY PROFILE PIC WHEN YOU'RE COMMENTING ON PEE MEMES ABOUT WHO YOU WANT TO PEE ON

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE LIKE A WOLF OR SOMETHING



EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS PERFECT




WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE CORE OF PURE TRUTH AND IT IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED




IN THA…

Facebook meme of the week

Image
This heartwarming sentiment is indeed a thematic device from most Disney movies. One in particular that comes to mind-- as is evident in this well-put-together meme-- is Mickey and Minnie Go West. Plot: "After being ignored by his distant but now visiting relative, Uncle Moosehead, more times than he can bear, Mickey Mouse decides to explore the United States' western terrain and become a cowboy mouse. But he can't do it alone, and decides to bring along his on-again, off-again flame, Minnie, who is struggling in her own right to overcome the feeling of not mattering to her stepmother, exemplified in a gut-wrenching opening scene during which Stepmother Horse yells, 'YOU DON'T MATTER!' to a distraught Minnie. Along their travels, Mickey and Minnie discover the invaluable lesson that it's easiest to navigate 'the western terrain' of family when you only deal with the ones you like. Comforted by this notion, they strike gold in San Francisco and nev…

MSN quick links of the week

Image
AND NOT EVEN AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR HUMAN DIGNITY

LOOKS GREAT



"AND WHILE I'M AT IT SO IS ROCK 'N ROLL AND BASEBALL HATS"

HERE SENATOR, TRY THIS NEW DEVICE THAT GIVES YOU PHONE PRIVACY IN PUBLIC

"WHAT'S A PHONE, PHONES ARE BRAINWASHING OUR KIDS"



"BUT WHAT WAS *MOST* BONKERS ABOUT THE GREAT WAR, ASIDE FROM THE KILLING AND INCREDIBLE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA FROM WHICH I HAVE NEVER RECOVERED, WAS A COOL-LOOKING MOTORCYCLE TANK THAT I HEARD ABOUT"

TELL US MORE GRANDPA




"BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO MORALS" - JAY LENO

"BECAUSE YOU'RE BRITISH" - ALSO JAY LENO

"BECAUSE I WAS BORN THIS WAY" - LADY GAGA

"BECAUSE YOU NEED BRACES" - MY DENTIST

" ????? " - MEDICAL DAILY



YEAH THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF

NEXT WEEK: JADA PINKETT SMITH REACTS TO FABIO'S ULCER



AND BY CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA WE MEAN DIARRHEA

AND WHAT ABOUT NOSTALGIA FOR SENIORS

NO ONE EVER THINKS OF SENIORS ON A FIXED INCOME




K THANKS

Spam email of the week

Subject:Do you poop less 3x per day? (you?re dying a slow death -URGENT)
Pretty liberal with the use of the “URGENT” tag there. What are you going to do when you have to warn our nation’s poopers who are susceptible to a quick death?
And to answer your question: Like any red-blooded American male, I could go four days without pooping at all, and have days where I poop 17 times before lunch. Should I average this out?
Click HERE
Nope.
By eating this one weird food, can you really REVERSE & RESTORE your internal digestive system that may be stewing in rotting feces & disease, slowly killing you?
Stop—you had me at stewing in rotting feces. Also, are you asking me? Because I don’t know. I just got here. I thought you were going to tell me.
This really works: It’s the #1 most important discovery in the last 25 years!
Didn’t NASA just discover seven Earth-like planets? Did that push “one weird food” down the list at all? No? OK. “It’s the #1 most important discovery in the last 25 years!” …

Facebook meme of the week

Image
This is good stuff right here. I'm usually critical of the random cartoon characters placed into these memes, but I feel like this frog works pretty well for the sentiment. I've seen this frog on a lot of these memes and I don't know where it's from. Am I supposed to? It seems British. I just Googled "who is that weird cartoon frog" and it didn't yield the desired results. If anyone knows, please don't tell me because I've already lost interest. On to the comments!


This is the very first comment in the thread, and I sincerely hope we come across George's initial mistake later on. Whatever the error was, I like how he bravely recovered and persisted in his steadfast intention to comment on this weird frog/shit meme. "Forgive my error in this dialogue; what I meant to say was ..." That said, I'm unsure how being reincarnated as soft toilet paper will help him in any way, as he will still be used to wipe butts and the comfort level…

Spam email of the week

CONFIDENCIAL MESSAGE FROM FEDERAL RESERVE BANK…
Email is the best means to receive confidential correspondence from the Federal Reserve, and spelling “confidential” incorrectly is a clever way to shake imposters off our trail. This all checks out.
(I realize such sarcasm played better during former administrations. It’s more likely than ever that I would actually receive a misspelled email directly from the fed. At least this one isn’t titled “Re: Does Frank have the nuklear codes?”)
Sir. Sylvester Carlos"federalrsb."@sage.ocn.ne.jp
If my name were Sir Sylvester Carlos, I would definitely want that to be part of my email handle. SirSly@Carlos.fed or something. That said, I imagine the opportunity to have the very first email address with quotation marks was too big to pass up.
Also, Sylvester—“Sir” is not an abbreviation and doesn’t require a period. I don’t hold this against you; you’re a knight, not an English teacher.
Dear Respected Customer,
You know me well. I used to be the R…

MSN quick links of the week

Image
WHAT'S TODAY, THURSDAY
OK I NEED 40 FLAVORFUL EGG RECIPES, 6 BIGGEST RIPPLE EFFECTS, 8 CARS WITH CONNECTIVITY FEATURES, 16 CHRISSY TEIGEN RECIPES, AND 35 HOMEMADE HACKS FOR PACKAGED SNACKS
IF ONLY I COU-

WOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY
MSN: HOW ABOUT THANK YOU
THANK YOU
ALSO
GOURMANDIZE CEO: HOW DO WE HACK A SNACK
INTERN: DOES A SNACK NEED HACKING? I THINK YOU JUST EAT IT
GOURMANDIZE CEO: LOL YOU ARE SO NAIVE, WE DON'T GET CLICKS WITH ARTICLES LIKE "ONE WAY TO EAT A SNACK"
INTERN: OH
GOURMANDIZE CEO: DOES ANYONE KNOW IF TRISCUITS CAN BE USED FOR CROWN MOULDING
INTERN: HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF EATING OREOS OUT OF THE PACKAGE LIKE AN A$$HOLE YOU STACK THEM ON A PLATE LIKE A CIVILIZED HUMAN BEING
GOURMANDIZE CEO: OK NOW WE'RE TALKING-- BARB, ARE YOU WRITING THIS DOWN
OH I ALMOST FORGOT, I ALSO NEED 7 MYTHS


HOLD UP ARE YOU SAYING THAT DRESSING LIKE POPEYE AND JAZZERCISING WITH MY CREW WILL *NOT* RESULT IN ME LOSING FOUR POUNDS?

THIS HAS BEEN A LIFE WASTED

I DON'T KNOW…