So, Do You Like ... Stuff?

During a phone conversation with my dad, he mentioned that he and my mom had sent my wife a gift for her birthday. Did we get it? “I don’t think so,” I said. “I got the mail yesterday and there was nothing from you guys … and nothing at the front door either.” “Well, they said it should have arrived yesterday,” he said. (Note that “they” are my dad’s No. 1 news source. I don’t know who “they” are, but my dad trusts them even though their information is iffy. Last year my dad claimed that “they” had discovered that tilapia is not an actual fish, but a manufactured combination of fish parts, like a fish hot dog.) “You know how they are with those things.” Indeed, even considering how little I know about “they,” I do know how they are with these things (liars). Anyway, that was how we ended our conversation, with me telling him that I’d get in touch to let them know when she got the gift, which I totally would have forgotten to do if given the chance. In fact, I compl...