Wednesday, July 26, 2017
LOL I AM FEELING THIS MEME
IT HAS REALLY PUT A SMILE ON FACE
*MY* FACE THAT IS
MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS MEME IS HOW DAFFY DUCK IS STRAIGHT WALKING INTO DUDE'S CART WHILE COMPLAINING ABOUT WALKING BEHIND HIM
MEANWHILE DUDE IS LIKE
"JUST TRYING TO BUY SOME GROCERIES FOR MY FAMILY...
"WTF IS HAPPENING WITH THIS BELLIGERENT DUCK"
I WONDER IF THEY USED DONALD DUCK FOR THIS MEME AT FIRST BUT THEN WERE HOLD UP, IS THIS RACIST
ANYWAY LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED "WHO KNOWS HOW TO SPELL 'AISLE'"
BUT OTHERWISE VERY COHERENT
BUT I AGREE THAT PEOPLE CHATTING WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS SHOULD GET A CATTLE PROD
HETTY WOLFS FOR MAYOR OF SHOPRITE
THOSE BANISHED TO THE 'ISLE OF MISFIT COMMENTERS' WAIT IN VAIN FOR ANGER CLAUS TO VISIT EVERY YEAR
OK SO NOBODY WON THAT GAME
WHAT ELSE WE GOT
OBVIOUSLY THE SLOW WALKERS PUT ON NOTICE BY THIS DOPE MEME EXCLUDES THOSE WHO ARE BLIND IN ONE EYE
BUT HOLD UP
"I'M NO OPTOMETRIST AND I AM ADMITTEDLY DISTRACTED BY ALL THE FLOWERS BUT ... THAT EYE LOOKS FINE TO ME" - GROCERY STORE POLICE
"MY WIFE ALSO HAS SPACE BAR RAGE!" - YOUR HUSBAND
THIS IS SOLID EXISTENTIAL ADVICE
I *SHOULD* BE MORE PAY CHE, I KNOW
BUT IT'S TOUGH IN THE GROCERY STORE
OK FINE I WILL TRY HARDER
IF ONLY THERE WERE AN EASIER WAY TO LIKE MEMES ON FACEBOOK
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
THAT WAS CALLED "ME & YOU"
IT'S PURPOSEFULLY GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MICKEY MOUSE TALKS
HE IS AN UNEDUCATED MOUSE BUT HAS THE STREET SMARTS TO BE LIKE: NOPE, NOT GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE WITH YOU
IS THIS RELATABLE
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLIMB A BRIDGE DUMBASS
ALSO WHO ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO
THIS IS AN OFF THE RAILS, SPECTACULAR FAILURE OF AN ATTEMPT TO BE WITTY
IN HER MIND ELEONORE WILD IS LIKE WINSTON CHURCHILL RESPONDING TO POINTED CRITICISM, BUT IN REALITY SHE IS ELEONORE WILD RESPONDING TO A MICKEY MOUSE MEME
LITERALLY NO CLUE
IS THIS ABOUT A CAR OR A STREET ADDRESS AND EITHER WAY HOW DOES IT RELATE TO MICKEY MOUSE
OH TO BE ABLE TO STEP INSIDE THE COMPLEX MIND OF SUBERINA COOPERJOHNSON
SPEAKING OF COMPLEX MINDS
THE ONE THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND, BESIDES EVERYTHING, IS WHY THAT DOG'S EYEBROWS ARE OFF ITS FACE
UPDATE YOUR PROFILE PIC BEFORE YOU COME AROUND HERE TRYIN' TO SELF-IDENTIFY WITH MICKEY MOUSE MEMES
NOW *THAT'S* A PROFILE PIC
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S "INAPPROPRIATE" ABOUT A LIGHTHEARTED/INDIFFERENT STANCE ON MENTAL HEALTH AND SUICIDE THAT'S FALSELY REPRESENTED VIA A POPULAR CARTOON MOUSE
ANYWAY, THIS ONE WAS CALLED "ME & YOU"
Thursday, July 13, 2017
- First of all, who told you about my Pokemon Go addiction? Was it troy? Because I've said this to numerous unsolicited spambots: HE CANNOT BE TRUSTED. Except, I suppose, in this specific case, as he is absolutely correct that I am totes into Pokemon Go.
- Second of all, nobody calls me Michael. Except those in the Pokemon Go community of which I am a prominent, willing, and active member. So again, this holds up.
- I love cheating as much as the next Michael, but UNLIMITED Pokecoins is a treasure trove that I simply cannot trust myself to handle appropriately. The last thing I want is to become a part of one of those stories you frequently see on E! where a regular Joe wins the lottery of Pokecoins, buys an above-ground pool and a lifetime supply of Marlboro Reds, starts a record label for his cousins, and ultimately combusts in a blaze of fake financial failure. Back in the day, I became unhealthily obsessed with gathering extra lives in Super Mario Bros., I flew too close to the sun, and ironically it ended up killing me (metaphorically, but literally for Luigi, RIP). Lest history repeat itself, I must decline this invitation to cheat (wink wink).
- Are you even serious?
- Hold up, I just saw that you mentioned in all caps that you are serious.
- Why do I need good luck for logging onto a website? Is it dangerous? Only one way to find out I guess.
- Might I one day attain a level of professional achievement that I can confidently sign off "Cheat Code Enthusiast" on my emails. I envy that extraordinary level of sorry/not sorry.
- In conclusion, and to reiterate my earlier stance that this offer to cheat offends me, I will definitely NOT meet you behind the Dollar General on Rt. 9 to obtain the unlimited Pokecoins.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
OMG EVEN AS A MEN WHO JUST GOT SERVED WITH THIS SCATHING MEME I CAN'T HELP BUT LOL
THIS IS SO ME (A MEN)
"YOU SHOULD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS WOMAN" - ME, TO MY WIFE, ON THE REGS
NOW SHE FINALLY HAS A COMEBACK INSTEAD OF JUST CRYING AND RUNNING AWAY
BUT YO, NOT TO TRY AND TOP THIS ALREADY DOPE AND ORIGINAL OBSERVATION BUT HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW A MEN NEVER STOPS TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS
ALSO THEY HOG THE REMOTE CONTROL
MEANWHILE WOMEN CAN'T EVEN CONTROL THEIR PMS OR WHATEVER
IT'S ALMOST LIKE MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
VENUS RHYMES WITH PENIS WHICH IS SOMETHING MEN USE TO THINK WITH INSTEAD OF THEIR BRAINS
SOMEBODY HOSE ME DOWN I'M ON FIRE
WAIT ONE MORE
I'M GOING TO CALL THIS MEME "INSTRUCTIONS" BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUS NO ONE READ IT WHEN IT WAS BEING PUT TOGETHER
ME AND THIS MEME ARE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO-ING RIGHT NOW
PLEASE NOBODY INTERRUPT US
UGH, OH NO TWO MANS GOT THEIR FEELINGS HURT
IF THERE'S ANYTHING SADDER THAN HAVING A PROFILE PIC OF A MID-SIZE SEDAN PARKED IN YOUR DRIVEWAY AND DISPUTING LAME-ASS MISSPELLED MEMES ON THE INTERNET, IT'S VALIDATING THAT EFFORT WITH A REPLY ABOUT HOW IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE WOMEN
MORE LIKE FAILL SMITH AMIRITE
LOL INDEED SUSAN
BY THE WAY YOU MUST BE MARRIED TO THE "A MEN" REFERENCED IN THIS MEME
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS BUT I IMAGINE SOME PUNCTUATION WOULD PROVIDE MORE CLARITY
HERE ARE SOME INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO USE PUNCTUATION ...
AWWW FORGET IT!
ANTHONY ROSE SR. IS THE VOICE OF A NEW GENERATION OF CAPABLE MEN
"ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF 'SCARED STRAIGHT,' ANTHONY ROSE SR. VISITS A JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER AND DEMANDS THESE TROUBLED TEENS BECOME MEN AS HE THROWS LEGOS AT THEM AND TELLS THEM TO BUILD A DINOSAUR IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES"
WHAT IS SAM SOME KIND OF OUTLIER
EFFF YOU SAM
YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE FOR THE REST OF US PROUD MEN
(ASSUMING YOU'RE A MEN)
ALSO, JUDY: NO ONE ON THIS THREAD KNOWS WHO SAM IS
READ THE FACEBOOK INSTRUCTIONS
Friday, July 07, 2017
THAT BOY IS TOTES GONNA HAVE A BOY
(PUTS ON SUBLIMINAL LIMBO MUSIC)
"YOU PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT
THEN SEE A DOCTOR FOR YOUR SCHIZOPHRENIA, YOU NUT"
CAN'T TALK NOW, FLIPPING THROUGH SOME HOT AND INAPPROPRIATE PICS FROM WORLD WAR II
AKA THE SEXIEST WAR
WHAT CAN I SAY, I'M A CURIOUS HISTORIAN
CURIOUS FOR BOOBS IS WHAT I M--
I THOUGHT PRANKS WERE FUN WHY DO I FEEL SAD AND SCARED
"SO I IMMEDIATELY WENT AND GOT MY BANGS CUT"
"I'M AN O-POSITIVE DIAGONAL BANGS GIRL LIVING WITH A B-NEGATIVE STRAIGHT BANGS FAMILY"
"YOU'D LOOK LIKE THIS TOO IF NO ONE IN YOUR FAMILY WAS STRAIGHT WITH YOU"
I COULDN'T PICK JUST ONE
BTW SHE GIVES BLOOD IN BARS?
"IT HAS A BANANA-- THE BANANAS WORKED!" - MOM
THE BUZZ TUBE- FOR ALL OF THE DAY'S FRESHEST BABY GENITALIA NEWS AND ALSO HOT CELEBRITY GOSSIP
ANYWAY WHAT I'M REALLY LOOKING FOR IS THE WHEREABOUTS OF FEMALE ACTRESSES I USED TO VALUE BASED STRICTLY ON LOOKS AND WHOM I NOW WANT TO JUDGE HARSHLY BASED ON SIMILAR PHYSICAL CRITERIA
NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT MEN BECAUSE THEY NEVER LOSE THEIR GOOD LOOKS AND HAVE OTHER IMPORTANT QUALITIES THAT NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE
ALTHOUGH I AM CURIOUS ABOUT SHAQ
WHAT'S UP WITH SHAQ LATELY