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Showing posts from April, 2018

Nextdoor post of the week

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PRETTY SURE YOU MEAN ISO LIKE “IN SEARCH OF” BUT “I SO” MAKES IT SOUND LIKE YOU ARE BRAGGING IN BROKEN ENGLISH ABOUT HOW RELIABLE YOU ARE
WHICH IS BETTER
MORE PEOPLE SHOULD USE NEXTDOOR TO BRAG ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY ARE AT THINGS
EXCEPT REAL ESTATE AGENTS WHO ARE ALREADY DOING THAT
ANYWAY, IF YOU PREFER SIMONE WHY DON’T YOU JUST ASK SIMONE
SHE DRIVES AND HAS NO POINTS ON HER LICENSE WHICH IS A MAJOR PLUS
THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE I LIKE THE IDEA OF THIS POST SERVING AS A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE WAY TO ASK SIMONE TO WATCH YOUR KID
LIKE SIMONE IS HER TEENAGE NIECE BUT MEREDITH ISN’T ON SPEAKING TERMS WITH HER SISTER-IN-LAW
“UGH YOU COULD HAVE JUST CALLED ME AUNT MEREDITH” – SIMONE, ROLLING HER EYES AS SHE SCROLLS THROUGH NEXTDOOR
BY THE WAY, HAVING NO POINTS ON YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE IS AN INTERESTING CORE REQUIREMENT FOR WATCHING YOUR CHILD
LIKE “I AM LOOKING FOR AN HVAC TECH WHO IS GOOD AT PICKUP BASKETBALL”
MEREDITH ALSO INCLUDES A PICTURE OF HER AND HER DAUGHTER WHICH IS KINDA WEIRD TO ME
AS I…

Facebook meme of the week

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FINALLY A MEME BRAVE ENOUGH TO TAKE ON THE GREAT BATHROOM DEBATE

I MADE THIS INTO A BUMPER STICKER BUT INSTEAD OF "SHARE = AGREE" IT READS "HONK IF YOU'RE HORNY ... FOR BATHROOM JUSTICE"

LET'S SEE WHAT THE PEOPLE WHO USE PUBLIC BATHROOMS HAVE TO SAY


MEN PISS ON THE FLOOR

THE IMPORTANT QUESTION HERE IS: HOW LONG ARE YOUR PANTS

ME (A MAN): /PISSES ALL OVER BATHROOM FLOOR, EXITS/ WELL YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO GO BY YOURSELF NOW, SO HOLD YOUR PANTS UP AND GIT ER DONE

DAUGHTER: UH I THINK I'LL HOLD IT



DEB BULGIN FOR PRESIDENT

BEING CONDESCENDINGLY TOLD TO "THINK ABOUT IT" BY DEB BULGIN ON THE HEELS OF THAT FIRST SENTENCE IS WHY I COME TO THE INTERNET

HERE ARE SOME BOOK TITLES I'VE RECENTLY THOUGHT OF

ALL GAS STATIONS HAS UNIVERSAL WASHROOMS: A COMPLEX ARGUMENT FOR EQUALITY BASED ON GAS STATION STANDARDS

NOT HERE FOR THE TWATS AND DICKS, JUST TRYIN' TO POO: A MEMOIR, BY DEB BULGIN

MEN PISS ON THE FLOOR AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS




SOME OF MY BEST CO…

Facebook meme of the week

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SHEESH THIS PUPPY IS REALLY FISHING

YA KNOW WHAT BUD WE ALL NEED A HUG BUT I HAVE ENOUGH DIGNITY NOT TO PUT MYSELF OUT THERE LIKE THAT

ALSO WHAT'S UP WITH THE SHIFT BETWEEN FIRST AND THIRD PERSON AND IS THAT A BEAR EMOJI

ANYWAY NO-- IN 2018 I AM DRAWING THE LINE AT DIGITAL PUPPY-HUGGING

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

DAMMIT FINE HOW DO WE EVEN DO THIS

/TYPES "HUG" INTO MICROSOFT WORD, WAITS/

I FEEL THE SAME

THIS WHOLE PUPPY-HUGGING BUSINESS GOT ME WONDERING: DO ILLITERATE PEOPLE LIKE PUPPIES TOO

LET'S FIND OUT




IMAGINE JOHN BAHE SMITH IS YOUR DAD AND THIS MEME SHOWED UP ON YOUR FB TIMELINE BECAUSE YOUR DAD COMMENTED ON IT AND THIS IS THE COMMENT

WELL GUESS WHAT JOHN BAHE SMITH *IS* MY DAD AND HE IS A FIREFIGHTER WHO JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE FEELINGS SO BACK OFF OK




SANDRA AND SHIRLEY TOOK TIME OUT OF THEIR RESPECTIVE DAYS TO WRITE THESE THINGS

LET US NEVER FORGET THAT




ALL GOODIE STUFF

#ALLGOODIESTUFF

SEE IF LAURA ABEL IS STILL AROUND WHEN ALL THE BADDIE STUFF IS GOING DOWN L…