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Showing posts from November, 2016

Facebook gif of the week

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AUNTY ACID DON’T PLAY

LITERALLY, YOU CAN'T PLAY THIS IT'S A SCREENSHOT
HOWEVER “AUNTY ACID” *IS* A PLAY ON “ANTACID” WHICH IS AN AGENT THAT NEUTRALIZES GASTRIC ACID
ONE IS THEREFORE LEFT TO ASSUME THAT ALL IF NOT MOST OF AUNTY ACID MEMES PORTRAY HER ON THE TOILET
ANYWAY
IN THIS SHORT FILM AUNTY ACID RUNS OUT OF TOILET PAPER
THE JOKE IS THAT WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ASSUME THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION IS “A PENIS” EVEN THOUGH THE PICTURE CLEARLY SHOWS AUNTY ACID ON THE TOILET
IMO THIS MEME WOULD BE AN ALL-TIME GREAT IF EVERYTHING REMAINED EXACTLY THE SAME BUT THE ANSWER INDEED WAS “A PENIS”
MAN THAT’S GOOD STUFF
IN THE VIDEO SHE DOES A JERKING MOTION

THE JERKING MOTION OF THE EMPTY ROLL IS SUPPOSED TO FURTHER INSINUATE “PENIS”
EVEN THOUGH SHE’S ON THE TOILET
MY WIFE SAW THIS MEME AND ASKED “WHAT IS A TOILET ROLL”
SHE IS THE BEST
ONE WOULD THINK THAT FOR ALL OF HER GASTROINTESTINAL ISSUES THAT AUNTY ACID WOULD CHECK THE TOILET PAPER ROLL BEFORE SITTING DOWN
FEELS LIKE SHE MADE HER OWN B…

Facebook meme of the week

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MIGHT BE THE BEST ANTI-GOOD GIRLS MEME I’VE SEEN TODAY
SOLID PHOTOSHOP WORK

IN THIS METAPHOR FIRE AND ICE = TATTOOS AND A GUITAR
PRETTY SURE AMY GRANT CAN PLAY THE GUITAR SO I’M NOT SURE ABOUT THE THESIS HERE
NEVERTHELESS
“THIS ACTUAL BADASS BITCH WON’T BE RELATABLE BUT IF I CUT AND PASTE BETTY BOOP’S HEAD ONTO HER BODY THEN PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND” - PERSON WHO MADE THIS
“I DON’T COMPREHEND MESSAGES UNLESS THEY ARE RELAYED TO ME VIA RECOGNIZABLE CARTOON CHARACTERS FROM 50 YEARS AGO” – ME
IMAGINE A REAL-LIFE WOMAN WITH AN ARM SLEEVE OF TATTOOS WHO IS IN AN ACTUAL BAND SELF-IDENTIFYING WITH THIS MEME AND SHARING IT UNIRONICALLY
WHICH MEANS THIS MEME’S TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC IS 60-YEAR OLD MOMS WHO CAN POST THIS ON THE FACEBOOK TIMELINES OF THEIR “LIBERAL” DAUGHTERS WITH MESSAGES LIKE “THOUGHT OF YOU WHEN I SAW THIS XOXO WINKY FACE” WHICH READING BETWEEN THE LINES MEANS “SEE I DON’T DESPISE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES” AND THEN THE DAUGHTER GETS THE NOTIFICATION AND IS LIKE UG…

Facebook meme of the week

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LOVING YOUR HUSBAND? HMMM THAT’S A STRETCH BUT LET’S HEAR BETTY BOOP OUT
AFTER ALL BETTY BOOP IS FAMOUS FOR HAVING A HUSBAND
AS A HUSBAND MYSELF I CAN ATTEST TO THIS MEME
I MAKE HER LAUGH (WITH FARTS)
I WIPE HER TEARS (AFTER REALLY BAD FARTS)
AND JUST THE OTHER DAY I CHEECKED HER ON
WIFE: WE NEED TO TALK I THINK I’M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN FROM THESE CHILDREN
ME: THERE THERE (PLAYING WORDS WITH FRIENDS)
WIFE: ALSO DONALD TRUMP I MEAN IS THIS EVEN REAL LIFE
ME: I KNOW RIGHT WTF
WIFE: I KNEW YOU’D UNDERSTAND, YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE TO CHEECK ME ON
ME: I AM A GOOD HUSBAND … … … … (10-SECOND FART)
WIFE: LOL I LOVE YOU
LET’S SEE WHAT THE MEME COMMENTERS HAVE TO SAY

TRUE LOVE IS WHEN YOUR WIFE TAGS YOU IN A BETTY BOOP HUSBAND MEME AND REFERS TO YOU AS BABY CAKES

SOMEONE MAKE A WIFE MEME FEATURING HE-MAN AND PUT THAT IN THERE


HERE’S TO HOPING A GOOD MAN READS YOUR ELOQUENT WORDS AND DECIDES TO CHEECK YOU ON

GOOD LUCK SHELLY

Case of the Nips

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We all went out to see Dr. Strange, a guys night that included a pre-movie dinner. My three brothers-in-law, cousin Sal, the incomparable Uncle Carmine and, of course, my father-in-law were the guys involved.
There was a grocery store next to the restaurant, and after dinner it was spontaneously decided that we’d go there to stock up on candy that we’d sneak into the theater. The entire endeavor was admittedly quite juvenile – seven grown-ass men with jobs buying candy on the cheap to sneak into a superhero movie. We regret nothing.
Matt grabbed a Costco-sized bag of Twizzlers. Anthony opted for some gummy bears. I think I saw Milk Duds in the mix. Me? I’m a popcorn guy, although I did partake in the inspired mischievousness by sneaking in a bottle of water. (High School Me is shaking his head in shame and disappointment.) Sal chose a box of Raisinets, which I initially thought was an odd choice although I did indulge in some Raisinet goodness during the movie – they g…

Political correctness: a counterpoint

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Well, here goes nothin'


Nailed it. I don't know. What I DO know is this does warrant a BREAKDOWN.

Everyohe wants to be politically correct,
When you’re attempting to make a profound or grandiose statement, it’s good practice to make sure you at least spell the first word correctly. An adequately-spelled first word can really draw the reader in and supply them the confidence that they’re in for a well-reasoned statement. If a big steaming pile of nonsense follows, at least a strongly-spelled first word buys you a little time. This … this does not do that.
Let’s also discuss something else. What people describe as “politically correct” is most often a compassionate attempt to not offend. Opposition to political correctness is usually due to people feeling deprived of their ability to issue racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and generally derogatory statements. In the case of the supposed “war on Christmas,” it’s an attempt to clearly claim the season as primarily if not solely Ch…