Thursday, June 29, 2017

MSN quick links of the week


WAY NO. 1: SIT ON A CHAIR






THE DAILY MEAL EDITOR: I NEED INTERESTING IDEAS, GO

INTERN 1: 5 UNBELIEVABLE THINGS TO EAT

THE DAILY MEAL EDITOR: THE DAILY MEAL IS ABOUT PEOPLE, NOT JUST MEALS!

INTERN 2: FIVE PEOPLE WHO WERE EATEN BY UNBELIEVABLE THINGS

THE DAILY MEAL EDITOR: TOO VIOLENT ... BUT YOU COULD CONVINCE ME OVER DRINKS

INTERN 1: FIVE UNBELIEVABLE PEOPLE WHO HAVE EATEN THINGS

THE DAILY MEAL EDITOR: OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, WE'LL NEED THE FOOD HISTORIES OF ANNE FRANK AND KEYSER SOZE ... NOT GONNA BE EASY

INTERN 2: FIVE PEOPLE WHO ATE UNBELIEVABLE THINGS

THE DAILY MEAL EDITOR: I LOVE IT- HERE, TAKE A PICTURE OF ME EATING THIS FRISBEE




SIR FIDDLESTICKS GERMPENIS

FLURFFY

REINCE PRIEBUS

BONGTONG-ZIPPY

FEELS LIKE THE ANSWER IS LIMITLESS

TWITCHBLIZZARD

OK I'M DONE



WAIT WHAT





I'VE ONLY VISITED THE ON PLACE IN MAIN AND NEW MEXICO

I'M DYING TO SEE THE ON PLACE IN KANSAS

MY ON FRIEND TOLD ME IT'S ON HECK OF AN ON PLACE





*READS FIRST 10 WORDS OF HEADLINE*

SOUNDS INTERESTING, BUT I'M UNCERTAIN IF I CAN OR SHOULD SEE THE MAP

*READS CONCLUDING PARENTHETICAL PHRASE*

OK THEN, I WILL SEE THE MAP

*CLICKS TO SEE MAP*

OMG MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME






WOW WHAT A BOLD NEW IDEA THAT ALSO QUALIFIES AS NEWS

THANKS INSIDE EDITION

"F*** IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!" RE: THIS

"COUPLE THAT RECREATES PHOTO OF THEIR NON-TRADITIONAL WEDDING DANCE TURNS OUT TO BE MILITARY PARENTS IN DISGUISE SURPRISING THEIR KIDS AT A BASEBALL GAME" - INSIDE EDITION, 2018

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Facebook meme of the week



THIS MEME HAS IT ALL

A HEADER THAT LETS THE VIEWER KNOW WHAT THEY'RE IN FOR 

A SMUG MINION 

MAD EMOJIS, SON 

A HILARIOUS JOKE I'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE THAT MAKES SENSE 

PROPER GRAMMAR 

ARE MY HOME SKILLETS FEELIN' THIS DOPE MEME

HOLLA ATCHA BOY




THAT IS NOT HOW THE JOKE GOES

DAMMIT CYNTHIA




WTF SAM

SERIOUSLY

PLEASE LOOK AT THIS MEME AGAIN AND IMAGINE YOURSELF REFERENCING EGYPT

I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS COMMENT

I HATE IT AND I LOVE IT AND I WILL THINK ABOUT IT FOR ETERNITY




THANK YOU NYNVA

NO DOUBT YOUR COMMENT HAS RAISED THE LEVEL OF DISCOURSE HERE

NYNVA HEARD THAT, EVERYONE

NYNVA HEARD THAT




NOPE

HAVE LOTS OF NAMES MUCH?




EVERYONE, PLEASE STOP TRYING TO TOP AN ALREADY PERFECT JOKE




I HONESTLY CAN'T TELL IF GRACE IS ASKING IN EARNEST

EITHER WAY, A+ COMMENT

LOOKS LIKE MY HOME SKILLETS WERE IN FACT FEELIN' THIS DOPE MEME

THANK YOU

#EGYPT

Friday, June 16, 2017

MSN quick links of the week



[CLICKS LINK, GREETED BY GRAPHIC PICTURE OF BOBBY FLAY TURNING OVER MARINATED SHRIMP ON THE GRILL WITH HIS PENIS]

WELL THAT WAS MY FAULT FOR CLICKING




NO. 3: WEARING HIGH TUBE SOCKS IN A RECLINER? SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS

"I WASN'T CONCERNED ABOUT HAVING A HEART ATTACK UNTIL I CLICKED ON A SPONSORED MSN TEASER LINK AND DISCOVERED MY KEITH VAN HORN-STYLE TUBE SOCKS WERE CUTTING OFF MY CIRCULATION. GGMVI.VOLUUMTRK.COM SAVED MY LIFE." - SOMEONE, MAYBE





YES

...

BECAUSE

...

THEY'RE

...

FAMOUS




WHAT

THIS GUY IS NOT EVEN A COAL MINER- HE'S SITTING IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER TRYING TO PROCESS THIS TERRIBLY CONSTRUCTED HEADLINE

SAMSIES




WITH REGARD TO LITERALLY EVERYTHING HERE: WTF




"ARE WE GETTING TOO HYPERBOLIC ABOUT FLOWER POTS?

ON THE NEXT 60 MINUTES."





DULY NOTED

HOWEVER I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A BLOGGER STAR AND YET HERE I AM WITH ALMOST 50 FOLLOWERS

WE DON'T CHOOSE OUR FATE

THAT SAID SHE'S OFF TO A GOOD START BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HAILEY BALDWIN

THEN AGAIN I ONLY KNOW FAMOUS DADS

Friday, June 09, 2017

MSN quick links of the week



CAN’T BELIEVE THESE OLDIES STILL WANT TO DO THINGS BEFORE THEY DIE INSTEAD OF JUST DYING

SMH




WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN

CAN’T TALK NOW, I’M VIRTUALLY SWIMMING WITH MY SHIRT ON ALONGSIDE ADAM SANDLER

KIM K IS WEARING A WINTER COAT FYI

“SPLASH NEWS” - FOR ALL OF YOUR CELEBRITIES NEAR WATER INFORMATION




ALL THREE FLAVORS ARE APPLE

WE'VE CONFIRMED

OR WE'VE MADE SOME KIND OF PURCHASING MISTAKE

EITHER WAY ANOTHER INVESTIGATIVE REPORT IN THE BOOKS




I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE WAY I SEE CHEERLEADING BUT IT COULD PROBABLY USE A CHANGE

LET ME CHECK THIS OUT




WOW I NEVER OF THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY




HOLD UP WHITE GIRLS LIKE CHEERLEADING?




THIS HAS BEEN EYE-OPENING




YOU'RE KIDDING




GREAT NAME

TAGLINE: OUR GOAL IS TO ENSURE YOU HAVE XXX-TRA GOOD MANNERS




LOL

THE '96 ST. JOE'S HIGH SCHOOL FALCONS ALSO WOULD HAVE TOPPED THE WARRIORS

IT WAS A DIFFERENT ERA




NAILED IT

THE IMPACT OF THIS NEWS IS ENHANCED BY QUALITY HEADLINE WRITING *AND* HAWAIIAN SHIRTS AND LEIS

"AND WITH THIS SIGNATURE WE SAY 'ALOHA' TO CLIMATE CHANGE AND ALSO 'SURF'S UP' TO LIKE ... GOOD CLIMATE STUFF ... WE ARE HAWAII"

"DOESN'T 'ALOHA' ALSO MEAN HEL-"

"HAWAII SAYS WILL NOT BE TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME"




THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE

Tuesday, June 06, 2017

Facebook meme of the week

I DID IT

I FOUND THE WORST MEME





SOME OBSERVATIONS

-WHAT

-MR. BEAN MIGHT BE FROM ENGLAND BUT THESE WORDS ARE NOT ENGLISH

-WHY ARE DONALD DUCK AND THE CHESHIRE CAT HERE

-DOES THIS GUY KNOW HE’S IN A DANK MEME 




EVEN THE ORGANIZATION THAT PRODUCED THIS MESS IS ONE BIG TYPO



ANYWAY I COULDN’T POSSIBLY LOVE THIS MEME MORE

DOES ANYONE ECHO THAT SENTIMENT



ELEONORE YOUR NAME MIGHT BE WILD BUT YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS MR. BEAN MEME ARE RIGHT ON POINT




"I SEE YOUR SELF-AFFIRMING MR. BEAN ON THE BEACH WITH DONALD DUCK MEME AND I RAISE YOU A GOPHER WEARING A KANGOL IN A LOUNGE CHAIR EMOJI" - THIS LADY




KATHY J ZBYDNIEWSKI LOVED MR. BEAN’S COMICAL SKITS

PERSONALLY I WAS MORE A FAN OF HIS DRAMATIC WORK

REGARDLESS THE MAIN TAKEAWAY FROM ANY MR. BEAN PERFORMANCE WAS OBVIOUS:

ENJOY YOUR OWN COMPANY THAN EXPECTING SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

WORDS TO LIVE BY



INSPIRATION IDEA: “TO SIR WITH LOVE” FOLLOW-UP SONG CALLED “YES SIR MR. BEAN TRUE” FEATURING A CHORUS OF DONALD DUCK LAUGHS AND AUTO-TUNED MR. BEAN SOUND BITES

SERIOUS QUESTION THOUGH: IS THIS MEME EVEN TRUE




OK BUT IS THIS MEME SK TRUE




WORD

THANK YOU FOR READING MY #COMICALSKIT

Friday, June 02, 2017

Teaser links of the week



REGISTER YOUR MOPED

COME OUT TO YOUR FAMILY

APPLY FOR A HOME EQUITY LOAN

CHOOSE AN INTERNET BROWSER

TALK TO AN ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON

THIS IS FUN




SURE WHY NOT WHO CARES NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE ANYWAY




CONSPIRACY THEORY: AMY SCHUMER IS NOW MANAGING THE CHAIN-SMOKING BOY'S CAREER AND THEY ARE PRODUCING A SITCOM CALLED "MANNY LOVES GRANNY" WHICH IS A SPINOFF OF MODERN FAMILY BECAUSE YES: CHAIN-SMOKING BOY IS ACTUALLY MANNY

#SKETCHY



"MAKE SURE IT HASN'T CHANGED COLOR BEFORE YOU COOK IT"




"I WAS FARTING THE WHOLE TIME"

"DONALD TRUMP IS PRESIDENT"

"THE CHAIN-SMOKING 2-YEAR-OLD SHOULD PROBABLY NOT BE CHAIN SMOKING"

THIS IS FUN



"WOW I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THOSE POTATO CHIPS THAT ONLY EXIST IN THAT SPECIFIC GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION TO WHICH I HAVE NO INTEREST IN EVER GOING" - ME AFTER READING THIS ARTICLE, WHICH DELIVERED ON WHAT AT FIRST SEEMED TO BE A FAR-FETCHED PROMISE

THESIS: MANY PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL THE POTATO CHIPS
SHORT-TERM OBJECTIVE: MAKE SOME PEOPLE AWARE OF OBSCURE POTATO CHIPS
LONG-TERM OBJECTIVE: A MORE FUNCTIONAL SOCIETY THROUGH WIDESPREAD POTATO CHIP AWARENESS
PROJECT SUMMARY: EVERYONE LOVES POTATO CHIPS. BUT NOT EVERYBODY LIVES EVERYWHERE. WITH A RESEARCH GRANT OF $125,000 BON APPETIT SEEKS TO BRIDGE THE ALARMING POTATO CHIP CONSCIOUSNESS GAP IN AMERICA. IT ALL STARTED WITH THE IRISH ...





THIS IS AS CLEVER A HAMSTER(?)-WITH-A-MAGNIFYING-GLASS RIDDLE AS YOU'RE GOING TO FIND ON THE INTERNET BUT HERE GOES NOTHING:

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS ONES



FEELS LIKE THIS IS POISED TO BE EQUAL PARTS OFFENSIVE AND INACCURATE

BUT HEY WHO DESERVES IT MORE THAN THE AMISH, THOSE ANIMALS OF SIMPLICITY AND TEMERITY WHO BASICALLY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE




I SPENT THE DAY ON THE COUCH EATING REGIONAL POTATO CHIPS AND WATCHING UNCOMFORTABLE AGE GAPS ON TV AND I HAD TO CALL OUT OF WORK THE NEXT DAY WITH DEAD BUTT

IT WENT IN MY FILE AND EVERYTHING

I REGRET NOTHING

EXCEPT THE DEAD BUTT, WHICH WAS ALMOST AS PAINFUL AS MY HEAVY LEGS ('07) AND FATIGUED BALLS (CURRENT)

ANYWAY GOOD NIGHT