So, Do You Like ... Stuff?

Note: This column appears in the 12/11 issue of The Glendale Star and the 12/12 issue of the Peoria Times The theme of almost every holiday movie is finding the true meaning of Christmas. Except, of course, for the movie “ Jack Frost ,” in which the theme is: if your absentee father dies, be alert, because there is a good chance he will come back to life in the form of a snowman, and finally teach you how to play hockey. This is another important holiday lesson. Anyway, the true meaning of Christmas in these movies usually proves to be quite elusive at first, but is ultimately found in some form of non-materialistic love. That is why, I am sure, so many people like myself are suckers for holiday flicks -- because they make you feel good, and reaffirm what you already know to be true. But let me ask you this: Have you ever tried, in real life, to execute a non-materialistic Christmas? Contrary to what the movies would imply (gasp!), it is quite difficult. A few years ago, on the heels o...

Note: This column appears in the 6/19 issue of The Glendale Star, and the 6/20 issue of the Peoria Times Note Part II: The title of this post is purposely awful Many of my loyal readers -- cough*MomandDad*cough -- may recall that I, rather officially , declared myself a Phoenix Coyotes fan about a week before the end of their season this past April. This appears to be excellent timing on my part, with the news last week that the Coyotes as a franchise lost $30 million during the 2006-07 season, and remain dead last in the NHL in ticket sales. It would seem that this perfect combination of ice hockey and the desert is now threatened. I mean, $30 million is a lot of money. You could fill up your car for almost an entire year with that kind of cash flow. (Notice how I interspersed a topical and relevant cultural fuel crisis into a column about hockey…hope you’re taking notes, kids!)) And being last in ticket sales within a league that has -- maybe up until this past season -- managed to...

Note: This column appears in the 3/27 issue of The Glendale Star, and the 3/28 issue of the Peoria Times The Phoenix Coyotes are currently, as of this Monday, 12th in the Western Conference standings. They are six points away from that 8th spot and the playoff berth that comes with it, but also six points away from finishing in second-to-last place. They only have five games left in the season. Barring some unforeseen circumstance in which Isiah Thomas takes over the top 11 teams in the Western Conference for the last week of the season, the Coyotes are not making the playoffs. Based on the above information, the Coyotes have pretty much played to expectations this season. But leaving it at that would dismiss a few very important things. For example, at one point during the season -- January, to be specific -- Phoenix was arguably the hottest team in the NHL, when, in that span, they won 11 games and dropped only three. If they could have simply played at that pace for the entire seaso...

Note: This column appears in the 11/21 issue of The Glendale Star, and the 11/23 issue of the Peoria Times On November 10th, in what would eventually become a 2-1 Sharks’ victory over Phoenix, former Coyote Jeremy Roenick became the third American-born player to reach 500 goals. On November 12, the Sharks’ Joe Thornton and Devin Setoguchi each scored twice as San Jose shutout the Coyotes 5-0. Excited at the prospect of watching the Coyotes potentially turn the tables on this one-sided “rivalry,” I went to this past Thursday’s game, which was Phoenix’s third straight against San Jose. And, at the risk of ruining a week-old surprise, the Sharks won 6-0. For those scoring at home, last week -- a week that started, mind you, with Phoenix on a very modest two-game winning streak -- resulted in a 13-1 loss, mixed in with some milestones for the opposition, a 2-7 home record, and a last place showing in the Western Conference. Yikes. Admittedly, I am no hockey connoisseur. But this was the th...

Note: This column appears in the 10/25 issue of the Glendale Star, and the 10/26 issue of the Peoria Times I’m not going to lie -- I am not a big hockey fan. In fact, at the Coyotes game this past Saturday night, I went to get a beer with my friend Rashad at one point during the first period. When we tried to go back to our seats, there was a cluster of people waiting to do the same. Of course, I tried to push my way through the crowd with a bunch of “excuse mes” while Rashad waited behind me, pretending like he didn’t know me. Yep, I didn’t realize you had to wait for the whistle to go back to your seat. You know you’re not a hockey fan when one of the three black guys in the arena is telling you how to act. So yeah, I don’t know much about hockey. But ya’ know what? If I’m going to have the type of time I had this past Saturday night, then there may be hope for me yet. At the risk of having this come across as some type of corny, “Hey Glendale -- if you haven’t been to Jobing.com Are...

Okay, so the Masters is over, and the next golf major isn’t for like, another seven months. The baseball season is too young to get into right now, and who really cares about the NBA, am I right? Obviously, this gives me a chance to talk about yet another sport that I know nothing about. On the heels of my first-ever NASCAR column from a couple of months ago, I’d like to introduce you to my first-ever hockey column! No, seriously! Of course, since there’s an excellent chance that I actually know less about hockey than I do about cars, we had to bring in a recruit. So please put your hands together for the biggest only hockey fan I know, Joe, my brother-in-law. Joe is a die-hard Rangers fan, and he hates the Devils and Islanders as much as I hate the Red Sox, which is nice. And, like any true fan, Joe oftentimes hates the Rangers as much as I hate the Yankees. But not this year, because the Rangers are headed to the NHL Playoffs, which are just getting underway. Also, let it be known ...