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Showing posts from January, 2016

Spam email of the week

Hello,

I am Miss Geraldene Dozzy from (KwaZulu-Natal) South Africa

HELLO GERALDINE DOZZY FROM ZULU NATION
I am contacting you because I need your help in management of some amount that my father left for me before he died.
My father was a very successful business man into timber plantations

GET THAT TIMBER PLANTATION MONEY, SON, I AIN’T MAD ATCHA
and exportation but was poisoned by his step brothers,
OH SNAP THIS IS LIKE CINDERELLA EXCEPT PA DUKES IS CINDERELLA AND HE CAN’T GO TO THE BALL CAUSE HE DEAD
THE BALL IS THE TIMBER PLANATATION, IT’S A METAPHOR
my uncles that was assisting him
“UNCLES THAT WERE ASSISTING HIM” WHATCHU LIKE AN INFANT-TYPE BABY OR SOMETHIN’
in his business due to envy and they are now after me so I had to escape my way to Benin where I am presently.
BEEN TO BENIN MANY TIMES FOR ENVY-RELATED REASONS. TRY THE MEAT POCKETS THERE, ASK FOR SAL.
Please I want you to stand as my guardian to enable you receive the money in your country and as well assist me secure papers
IMMA …

Facebook meme of the week

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BET YOU THOUGHT WINTER JUST STARTED
WELL GUESS WHAT, THIS CROSS-EYED BLUEBIRD HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU


OPEN THE LETTER
THE LETTER SAYS ONLY 57 DAYS UNTIL SPRING
(P.S. GRANDPA DIED IN THE FIELDS)
NOW THROW THE LETTER IN THE FIRE TO KEEP WARM FOR THE NEXT TWO GD MONTHS
HATE TO NITPICK ON THIS BEAUTIFUL GRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF SPRING BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THIS


THE PORTAL TO SEASONAL BLISS, WHERE BLUEBIRDS LIE SAFELY NEXT TO POLAR BEARS, PROLLY I GUESS


ONLY 57 DAYS UNTIL RICKY TATE CAN GO CAMPING WITH HIS SWEETIE
THIS IS A WELCOME REMAINDER I FORGOT TO MARK THAT ON MY RICKY TATE CAMPING CALENDAR
NEW SWEETIE ERRRRRY MONTH LOL


I AM EQUALLY SURPRISED AT YOU MOMMA
IT’S VERY MUCH UNLIKE MOMMA TO JUMP THE SEASONAL GUN LIKE THIS
BLUEBIRD PLEASE CHECK ON MOMMA SHE MIGHT BE SENILE
GODSPEED


GET OUT OF COLORADO IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE COLD DAMMIT
COLORADO DON’T TAKE KINDLY TO YOU TYPE OF FOLKS

SPRING-LOVING FOLK WHO DON'T LOVE THAT WINTER WHITE SHOULD GO TO DIFFERENT SCHOOLS, IF YA'LL ASK ME


“H…

Facebook meme of the week

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ALSO A PUBLIC PARK IN ABERDEEN, MARYLAND AT SUNRISE ON A CRISP MARCH MORNING
THAT’S THE FOURTH PLACE
GET THERE EARLY FOR YOUR SEAT ON THE BENCH SO YOU CAN WATCH THE TREES


YES THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL WAY; THE PERFECT “WAY” TO DESCRIBE THIS SENTIMENT IS “WAY”


SORRY REGAN—DON’T GO FISHING FOR SYMPATHY IN THE COMMENTS AND EXPECT NOT TO GET CRITICIZED BY CHARLOTTE PAUL
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING, NOW STOP IT SO YOU CAN BE IN SOMEONE’S HEART


POUR OUT SOME LIQUOR FOR THE FAITHFUL SNUGGLERS
SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS


THAT’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOLKS
ONE TIME MY FAITHFUL SNUGGLER WENT TO SEE EARNEST GOES TO CAMP IN 3D AND NEVER CAME HOME
YOU’RE ALWAYS IN MY #HART FRANCESCA


SHIRLEY NIXON COMIN’ CORRECT WITH THE 4SHO REPLY
IMMA DOUBLE DOWN AND 4SHO THAT 4SHO




WTF
IF YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY THAT PATRICK SWAYZE IS IN YOUR HEART, AND LEAST GET THE NAME OF HIS MOVIES RIGHT, DANG
WHAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF 4SHO, CAUSE THAT’S MY RESPONSE TO THIS


I BET YOU COULD HAVE
DON’T CAPITALIZE “SOMEONE’S” FOR STARTERS


IF YOU…

Cool thing of the week

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NOT TRYIN’ TO BRAG BUT I JUST GOT A NEW, FREE TRAVEL MUG AT A COMPANY LUNCHEON



IT WAS BETWEEN THAT AND A LANYARD AND YOU KNOW ME, I DON'T FRONT
GONNA FILL THIS BABY WITH SOME FILTERED WATER RIGHT N—
AYO HOLD UP


Please wash all parts in warm soapy water before use.
ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE TRAVEL MUG OR SHOULD I TAKE A SHOWER LOL
SERIOUSLY THO
Do not exceed the product’s capacity with liquids.
I WILL FILL THIS DANG THING WITH LITTLE REGARD FOR ITS SPATIAL DIMENSIONS THANK YOU VERY MUCH
MY CUP SPILLETH OVER, SON
WITH ATTITUDE BUT ALSO LITERALLY
Always be certain the lid is secured before drinking.
I WAS TAUGHT SINCE BIRTH THAT IF THE LID IS IN THE GENERAL PROXIMITY OF THE CUP YOU ARE G2G (GOOD TO GO)
FEELS LIKE MY DRANK CONSUMPTION IS BEING MICROMANAGED HERE
Hot drinks may scald the user.
LOL TAKE THAT USER
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR PUTTING HOT DRANK IN A PLASTIC TRAVEL MUG WITH A STRAW
Keep out of children’s reach when filled with hot liquid to avoid scalding.
CHILD, PLEASE HOLD TH…

Facebook meme of the week

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LOL KERMIT
I MEAN KERMIT?
YOU LOOK MAD DIFFERENT SON
YOU SICK OR SOMETHIN
MAYBE YOU’RE JUST NOT A MORNING PERSON
OR A PERSON
YOU LOOK LIKE A NATURAL HOLDING THAT SMOKE THO
LIKE IF CLARK GABLE WERE A SICKLY FROG PUPPET WITH IMMOBILE APPENDAGES
CLASSIC KERMIT THE FROG THO, GETTING UP MAD LATE AND FEENIN’ FOR THAT NICOTINE AND CAFFEINE
ANYWAY MORNING DOES HAPPEN AFTER 11 FYI
11:01 THROUGH 11:59 SO YOU’RE GOOD TO GO
ANOTHER SOLID MEME BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHIEF SLAP-A-HOE
ON BEHALF OF THE INTERNET THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO, CHIEF SLAP-A-HOE

Facebook meme of the week

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IT’S LIKE YOU’RE READING MY MIND, MICKEY MOUSE
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS ME BUT NAH, THIS CARTOON MOUSE IS LIKE SAMSIES
WELCOME TO DEPRESSION DISNEY, FEEL FREE TO RIDE THE TEACUPS INTO A FOGGY ABYSS WHILE JOY DIVISION PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND
“AIN’T TALKED TO PLUTO IN A HOT MINUTE, AND NOW HE THINKS I’M MAD, SMH.” – MICKEY MOUSE
WHAT’S UP, PARTY PEEEEEOPLE?


JIMMY KING DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOT TALKING RIGHT NOW
THANKS FOR THE COMMENT THO


YOU GUYS, STOP LYING TO EURIS IP SPANGLISH OR DUDE IS GONNA SHUT DOWN ALTOGETHER
NOBODY WANTS THAT


YO THAT IS DEEP
MORE LIKE PLATO ZUBROD JUNDT AMIRITE


THAT’S GOOD, LET IT ALL OUT CATELYN … TELL SAD MICKEY MOUSE ABOUT HOW YOUR MOTHER DISAPPOINTS YOU


DIANE LLIFF IS A NATTER BOX PORN STAR?
OK I GUESS


FEEL GOOD FRIDAY, Y’ALL
GO STEELERS
“CATS FILL THE EMPTY VOID IN WHAT HAS BECOME A MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE.”
“THAT’S AWESOME.” – TERRY DAVID PLATT


FLAVIA RODRIGUEZ E PEREIRA: SO THEN I’M LIKE, “LINDA, THE WORK MICROWAVE IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL PLAYGROUND!” AND…

Spam email of the week

Subject:ARE YOU STILL ALIVE??
Depends. Is there spam email in heaven?
GOOD DAY TO YOU,
We are writing to know if it's true that you are DEAD.

Not going to beat that intro. If I’m spam email, I’m retiring now, going out on top.
Because we received a notification from one Mr. John of USA stating that you are DEAD
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Do NOT listen to anything Mr. John of USA has to say. That guy is full of sh*t. He’s the same guy who told me Bobby McFerrin committed suicide. I think people only listen to him because he has a name you can trust. But his information is consistently erroneous.
and that you have given him the right to claim your $ 1.5 United States Dollar fund
LOL yeah like I’m gonna give Mr. John of USA, of all people, my $1.5 million. You know, when I received my First Holy Communion, and used those savings bonds to start my first United States Dollar fund, I accepted with that the responsibility of being a good steward of that money. Pretty sure I …