Potty training No. 1 misnomer, cause of parental madness
Honestly, I don’t even know why it’s called potty training. There is no training going on. As a parent you just say things and do things that the child totally couldn’t care less about and/or will forget about three seconds later, if she’s processed anything at all. Potty training is a term adults made up to mask the unfortunate fact that you are completely at the mercy of when your child randomly decides she will stop crapping her pants. Meanwhile you say things at parties like, “I am potty training my child” (I go to terrible parties), even though nothing tangible is happening. In your mind there is a montage set to “Eye of the Tiger” or the “Benny Hill” theme, depending on your personality, of all the times you have left food on the table and fruitlessly brought the child to the potty, and all the INSANE and contrived celebrations for when she pees even a smidgen of urine—“YEA I’M SO PROUD OF YOU HIGH FIVE YOU DID IT!”—and you imagine a time when she finally “gets it,” and all o...