Friday, September 26, 2014

Spam email of the week

Subject: To:MR.subscribe,  LED Illuminated Signs,Lightbox supplier/manufacture---Greensail .posterboxes06@163.com

I'm sorry, Mr. Subscribe? I didn't graduate from five extra years of newspaper school to be called mister. It's Dr. Subscribe, thank you very much. That said, yes, of course I need a lightbox supplier.

Dear subscribe,

The name's Mr. Subscribe; Subscribe if you're nasty. So you must be nasty. That is good. Call me Mike though.

We got your information from Internet and knew you are interested in signs products.

Many people - and by "people" I mean "non-people" - seem to be getting my information from the Internet these days. Am I so transparent? Probs. I mean, it's like, pick a social media site where I'm NOT constantly yammering on about my interest in signs products. You can't. And so what? Sue me. I like signs products. So let's do this.

Take this opportunity, please let me introduce our highly welcomed with competitive price LED Light box.

I'm not certain an LED lightbox can be more adequately introduced than JUST THAT, but try me.

LED single side crystal litht box (A4 size just $33USD).

So far this introduction is perfect except for grossly misspelling the very thing you are introducing - this is the John Travolta of LED lightbox intros - and also the fact that: what are you even talking about?

LED snap frame light box, LED magnetic light box, LED acrylic light box, LED Letter Signs,

Yes but do you have any LED products? LOL J/K just a little #LEDhumor there. Seriously though, what I really need are EL hats, which is thing I just made up out of nowhere.

EL hats

Cool. T-shirts?

and T-shirts

T-shirts are my favorite kind of LED lightbox.

as well as other promotion products are very popular.

Nobody could ever doubt the popularity of your EL hats and LED T-shirts, two promotional products that are sweeping the nation, thanks in large part to the endorsement of Ashton Kutcher.

Kindly let us know by return mail. 

Let you know what? What is return mail?

Best regards,
Sharon


Where should I send my return mail, SHARON?

703, Xi Hua Yuan Building, No. 18 Zengcha Road, Baiyun Dist, Guangzhou, China

Indeed this bonkers address is synonymous with the name SHARON. Still ... (pulls back email curtain to reveal SHARON is a robot wearing a wig sitting in a chair at a computer) (robot SHARON shocked at being caught, turns to run but robot leg gets caught on chair, ripped off) (robot SHARON is now on fire, head falls off and robot body short circuits and falls to ground) ... and you want to be my lightbox supplier.

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