Thursday, September 11, 2014

Spam email of the week

Subject: Re; Foreign Supplies

I need supplies. What kind of supplies? Don't know, don't care. But they better not be from here. What am I going to tell my friends? Oh, these supplies came from Madison, Wisconsin? Please. Get out of my face with that mess. I have a reputation to uphold.

From: Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE [infohusbakur@aol.com]

Sure, why not.

Greetings!

Hello.

We the Bahrain Tender Board is interested in business cooperation with you/company.

This is Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE at the bar:

Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE: Greetings! My tender board is interested in cooperation with you ... or your company (nods head toward friend).

Girl: (slaps Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE, walks away) 

(different girl sits down)

Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE: Is this a banana in our pocket or is business cooperation inevitable?

Girl: (throws drink in Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE's face)

It is noteworthy to note

Bring it back, please.

It is noteworthy to note

One more time.

It is noteworthy to note

Thank you.

It is noteworthy to note that the Bahrain Government is undertaking periodic re-construction/maintenance works and various supply projects through various Ministries in this fiscal year 2014 and over One Billion United States dollars has been allocated for this purpose.

This all sounds very specific and not vague. But just to be sure, let me check my textbook on recent history.

In March of 2014, the U.S. government - at the time carrying a deficit of approximately $12 trillion - allocated more than $1 billion (U.S.) to the country of Bahrain for them to, as United States Treasurer Rosa Gumataotao Rios described it, "do stuff with."

This checks out.

We are mandated to source for capable foreign companies/individuals that has the capability and integrity to supply needed products and execute same.

In turn, many lead Bahrain officials promised to filter the money back into the U.S. with false business arrangements made via terribly constructed emails to unsuspecting American civilians. One American in particular, Mike Kenny of Arizona, agreed to go "halvsies" on a Bahrain Chuck E Cheese franchise with a man claiming to be Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE. As a result, Kenny lost his life savings. Kenny, however, recounted his experience in his best-selling book, "Tuesdays with ALSAIE," which is essentially 400 pages of Kenny waiting for Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE to meet him at Chuck E Cheese.

If interested, contact me with full company/personal profile and more details will be divulge to you.

Mr. Waleed Yusuf ALSAIE: Hows about you contact us with your personal profile and I will divulge to you ... the details. (motions toward his pants)

Girl: (agrees to marry him on the spot, they live happily ever after)

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