Spam email of the week

Subject: Vamo V5 kit mod on sale

Say word - the Vamo V5 kit mod be on sale, yo? You playin'.



Vamo v5 on sale.

You ain't playin'?

Best price and good qulity.

This Vamo V5 quilt be mad quilty
Such good qulity, got me feelin' guilty

From my new single, "Vamo V5," on sale now.

What's the price?


What it look like?

This is not a quilt.


I thought you said the price was $16?

I have no idea what this is. How soon can it be shipped out?

Goods can be shipped out soon.


Please feel free to contact me any further questions.

My only question is what the hell is this.

Best Regards, Danner

Peace out, Danner, catch you on the flip.

Oh snap, the flip be here. Got another dope message from my homeboy Danner:

Subject: Re:Original Mini Nautilus $15.5 in stock

What's that, like, a Nautilus for hamsters? You KNOW I keep my hamsters lookin' fit, y'all. Be Instagrammin' my fine lookin' hamsters. Hamstagram.


Stop playin', Danner. It's me, Mike.

We have Original Mini Nautilus$15.5 in stock.

And you know this, man. What it look like?

wth seriously

Goods can be shipped out tomorrow after payment received.

Oh now you need payment up front? Damn, you changed, Danner.

Please feel free to contact me any demand.

I demand you tell me what this is. J/k I'll take the Nautilus thingee. Holla back, youngin'.

Subject: Re:Dry Herb Titan 2 $33 on sale

You did NOT cop the Dry Herb Titan 2, did you? FOR REAL? I can't even.


You cray.

Titan 2 on sale:for dry herb and wax

No sh*t the Titan 2 is for dry herb and wax, Danner, dang! You think I don't know how to dry herb and wax myself? Whatchu think, I be usin' Titan 1? Pffffffft. Please.

What it look like though?

Is the ice sculpture included?

I understand this.

This nose hair trimmer be TIGHT, son!

Me: Yo, nose hair trimmer - cut my nose hairs.

Nose hair trimmer: (cuts nose hairs)

Me: Also, what's the temperature outside? FAHRENHEIT - DON'T BE PLAYIN'.

Nose hair trimmer: (reads "375 F")

Me: Won't be needin' my quilt then, I suppose.


troy said…
$16 or $24, that's a beautiful machine. And when I say that's a beautiful machine, I mean do you got any wax?