Friday, August 15, 2014

Spam email of the week

Subject: DRIVE YOUR CAR AND GET PAID ADVERTISING FOR JetBlue Airlines. ($400 Weekly)

The way I know this is not spam is because:

From: ©JetBlue Airlines Advertisment™   [ulyssesrhg@gmail.com]

Totes legit to quit. What's up, Ulysses?

We got your email address through a local Business directory on the web. We must apologise for taking some of your valuable time to explain a proposal that will imagine will be of utmost benefit.

Please, Ulysses - any email that invites me to get paid for driving an advertising car is never a waste of time. You write well.

We are currently seeking individuals Strictly in the United State who would like to make money by simply driving their vehicle advertising for JetBlue Airlines. This is in our view to create more awairness and attract more customers to be willing to patronise us for local and international flights.

You have explained well the general purpose of advertising. Also, I must now add to my list of "Benefits of being born in the United State(s)":

  • You can be president
  • Freedom
  • You can drive a JetBlue advertising car

This is a basic strategy of the "pay me to drive" concept: JetBlue Airlines seeks people, regular citizens, professional drivers and more to go about their normal routine, only with a small advert for "JetBlue Airlines" plastered on their vehicle.

"Small" and "plastered" seem at odds in the description department. So like a bumper sticker?

The advert are typically vinyl decals, also known as "auto wraps" that almost seem to be painted on the vehicle, and which will cover any and little portion of the vehicle's exterior surface.

Oh you mean "small" like "auto wrap," like my entire vehicle will be a JetBlue advertisement and I will have to register my vehicle as "commercial" and everyone will be well aware I've sacrificed my dignity for an extra $400 a week which will actually be zero dollars a week because this is nonsense.

This strategy gives JetBlue Airlines Lots of exposure and awareness. The auto wrap tend to be colorful, eye-catching and attract lots of attention. Plus, it's a form of advertising with a captive audience eye catching, people who are stuck in traffic can't avoid seeing the wrapped car alongside them.

I feel like I've just graduated from advertising school, and also grammar school. I can picture it now:

Husband and wife stuck in traffic

Husband: I'm sick of traffic! Stupid cars! We should fly somewhere. On a plane. But what airline should we use?

Wife: I don't know anything about anything.

Husband: Hey, check out that toolbag driving that eye-catching car over there. It has definitely caught my eye. What a toolbag though.

Wife: I hate him.

Husband: "JetBlue." Huh. I wonder what their deal is. I heard about them on the news. Terrible things.

Wife: They only fly to like three airports.

Husband: ...

Wife: ...

Husband: I'm in love with your sister.

This program will last for as long as you want it and the minimum you can participate is 2 months and you get paid weekly, also individual with two or more vehicle can only participate once and with one vehicle at a time.

Darn I was hoping our JetBlue family could have a garage full of JetBlue cars that pay for themselves and maybe finally people would respect us. When I want to end the program who will turn my JetBlue vehicle back to normal? My car is leased.

You will be compensated with $400 per week which is essentially a rental payment for letting JetBlue Airlines use the space on your vehicle, no fee is required from you. We have experts that would handle the advert placement on your vehicle. You will receive an upfront payment of $400 inform of check via courier service for accepting to carry this advert on your vehicle.

Wow, you are giving me so much money for nothing I should call you Ulysses S. Grant LOL. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha seriously though you are terrible and I hate you.

(Sign me up though.) (JetBlue for LIFE, son.)

UPDATE:


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