Frozen out by ‘Frozen,’ dang Disney
I’ve mentioned before our family’s distaste for Disney, but
allow me to briefly elaborate.
Specific to the realm of raising two impressionable young
girls, we—when I say “we” in this regard, people may assume that I mean “my
wife,” and while she does spearhead this line of thinking, I honestly couldn’t
agree more—feel that Disney, generally, too heavily markets the princess
aesthetic to girls. Realizing the fantasy life is omnipresent during childhood,
we’d prefer our girls be less influenced by a non-working, male-reliant position
within a fundamentally un-American monarchy whose “job” is to, essentially,
look pretty, than, say, virtually anyone
or anything else (sans Katy Perry, of course). I mean, even Dora explores
and is bilingual.
However, over the course of the past year or so, our stance
on Disney has ever so slightly—gasp—softened. This is a result of equal parts
our sheer inability to escape its wide-reaching entertainment net and, more
specifically, Frozen. Though it touts not one but two princesses, its
overriding theme is the love between sisters. That combined with its lack of
bare midriffs and the color pink made it more palatable.
As if we had a choice anyway. Our girls are two of millions upon
millions obsessed with the film. So, when my wife saw a post on Pinterest
marketing the fact that, if your child writes a letter to a specific Disney
character, Disney will send your child back a signed photo from that character,
she jumped at the chance.
The timing was perfect. Our oldest, enamored with Elsa, is
forever eager to practice her writing, and that very week at school she was
learning how to write letters. My wife sat down with her and helped her pen a
letter to her favorite ice queen:
“Dear Elsa, I love you. How is your ice castle? Please say
hi to Anna and Olaf. (sporadic pictures of Elsa, hearts, and, I don’t know what
that is … a shark?)”
It’s entirely possible that, without compromising our
ideals, our stance on Disney could have softened to mush had we received what
was promised. No doubt my wife and I were more excited than our daughter to
hear back; our daughters’ joys are our joys times two, and besides – they
cannot see their own faces.
Welp, last week we received something back. It was a postcard
featuring every Disney princess ever—the gentrified African-American and
Middle-Eastern princesses stand out like a sore thumb amidst the sea of Caucasianness,
as if Disney were unwittingly bound by Affirmative Princess Action (recall this is the same company that introduced this character as "Latina")—sans, of
course, for Anna and Elsa, on the front. On the back is the well-thought out
note, “May all your dreams come true,” signed by “Cinderella and my royal
friends.”
Thanks for the meaningless cliché, Cinderella, but our DREAM
WAS TO HEAR FROM ELSA, YOU WITCH. NO WONDER YOUR SISTERS HATED YOU.
We haven’t even told our daughter yet that anything has
arrived in the mail for her because we’re not sure what to say. “Honey, I’m
sorry, but the multi-kajillion-dollar corporation you wrote to couldn’t afford
to mail you back a generic 4X6 photo with a stamped signature. But remember
Cinderella? That movie we won’t let you watch because of its misguided ideals
and because Cinderella is the worst? She sends vague well wishes.”
She will cry, but I will promise her that she can and should
help forcefully release Disney’s chokehold on capitalist America by one day
running for princess oops I mean senator.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re back to despising
Disney WITH MORE FERVOR THAN EVER. Won’t you join us? It is fun.
Note: This column appears in the 7/24 issue of The Glendale Star and the 7/25 issue of the Peoria Times.
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