Spam email of the week

Subject: Honest Call for you - From Suzzane H M

If nothing else, this seems honest.

Dear friend,

Are you talking to me or info@flippybaby.com?

To: indianspell@yahoo.com, indplsfeis@yahoo.com, info@4garlic.com, info@adoramedia.co.uk, info@arce.org, info@be-a-flirt.com, info@buckeyestatefeis.com, info@calgaryssea.ca, info@carrickfergus.org, info@chinabaroque.com, info@chocolatepizazz.com, info@cnyirishdance.com, info@europeantreasuresonline.com, info@feelgoodframes.com, info@feisinfo.com, info@feisnovascotia.com, info@feisworx.com, info@flf.butlerdancers.com, info@flippybaby.com, info@kcfeis.com, info@kittykeller.com, info@laughoutloudexpressions.com, info@mcmenaminacademy.com, info@minniebeasleys.com, info@nelleandlizzy.com, info@rivington.net.dele.te, info@robinclaytondesigns.com, info@scribblesndoodles.com, info@sextonacademy.com, info@sheajennings.com, info@shelleyirishdance.com, info@sseamtl.org, info@stewartschoolofirishdance.com, info@thechrystalranch.com, info@themastersuite.net, info@thessea.org, info@tucsonfeis.com, info@wimberlyinc.com, info@wineglace.com, infront1970@yahoo.com, inisfada2013@gmail.com, inisfadafeis2013@gmail.com, inishfreee@cs.com, inishfreefeis@aol.com, inishfreeinfo@gmail.com, investments@churckofskatin.com, iowahawk@mail.com, iris@grayschool.com, irish@mcteggartokc.org, irishdance@mindspring.com, irishdance@ryankilcoyneschool.com, irishdancetampa@gmail.com, irocgal@live.com, isaac_manny_johnsons@yahoo.com, isabel.stuenkel@metmuseum.org, it_is_known@yahoo.com, itsallaboutyou2@sbcglobal.net, itzick@netvision.net.il, ivanna2113@yahoo.com, iyfsc@yahoo.com, izettacoungeau@gmail.com, j-johnson@uchicago.edu, j.etheredge@sbcglobal.net, j.hellum@auckland.ac.nz, j_dirt@hotmail.com, ja-larson@uchicago.edu, jackie.jay@eku.edu, jackintheyok@yahoo.com, jacobwoolbright@hotmail.com, jacqueline.holden@fibreline.co.uk.dele.te, jacrod@hotmail.com, jaei@egypt.arizona.edu, jaell@aol.com, jagordon56@hotmail.com, jakebe@webtv.net, james.catterick.novels@xtra.co.nz, james.cleary07@comcast.net, james.dunn4@comcast.net, james.harrell@utoledo.edu, jamesbmanley@jamesbmanley.com, jamescrompton9d1@hotmail.com.dele.te, jameseclark@earthlink.net, jamespallen@brown.edu, jamie.corona@hotmail.com, jaminbellwood@webtv.net, jamklane1@yahoo.com, jandjhanson@talkgas.net.dele.te, janele@tcac.net, janeleoc@aol.com, janettetaylor@onetel.com.dele.te, jangisler@yahoo.com, janice.kamrin@metmuseum.org, janineannt@hotmail.com, janineidream@msn.com, jasonefranks@gmail.com, jasonmch17@hotmail.com, jax2phx@cox.net, jax2phx@gmail.com, jbaker72@crawler.com

I will assume you are talking to me.

First and foremost, accept my forgiveness for the intruding your privacy with this post without your prior notice.

Normally I prefer an email heads up that I am getting an email, and I am in the middle of a private chat. But, it's okay, I accept your forgiveness. For the ways in which I have wronged you?

I am Her Excellency Lady Suzanne Hosni Mubarak, the wife of President form Egypt.

I feel like I am in the Egyptian version of Downton Abbey, only the script has been written by a 6-year-old. This is fun!

Since February 2011 When My Husband stepped down from Egypt Presidency, we the Mubarak family Have Been Devastated by the Governments and military actions against us, They Have Seized all our accounts and business Both here and overseas and my husband sentenced to jail along with my two children, they forced me to accept plead bargain

Court: How do you plead, Her Excellency Lady Suzanne Hosni Mubarak?

Her Excellency Lady Suzanne Hosni Mubarak: (struggling in handcuffs) I plead ... (crying) ... bargain.

Court: Okay then. How much for this Magic Bullet? (bailiff brings out Magic Bullet)

Her Excellency Lady Suzanne Hosni Mubarak: You traitors! Fine ... $29.95! (breaks down)

Court: Wow. You weren't kidding. Take her away!

and Took away all my trust fund charity foundations.

I hate when that happens.

Now, They Placed me on 24 hrs surveilance monitoring, I have to use a brand new laptop to email this post secured with IP protection.

Militant 1: And what of Her Excellency Lady Suzanne Hosni Mubarak?

Militant 2: I threw her in jail, under 24 hours surveillance monitoring!

Militant 1: "Surveillance monitoring" is redundant. Did I teach you nothing in Egyptian Military School?

Militant 2: Also, I gave her a brand new laptop.

Militant 1: What? Why?

Militant 2: I mean, she has to check her email. I'm not a monster, you know.

Militant 1: If the laptop is secured with IP protection, she may be able to contact the Americans and make arrangements for the trust fund charity foundations we took from her!

Militant 2: Pfffftt. Please. I had to show her how to log in to Yahoo. She still has a Yahoo account! She promised she's only going to use it to check email and watch cat videos. We're good.

I hope You Will not leak out to me the government that are already against us?

This is a first ballot spam email Hall of Fame sentence. And I promise, I will not leak you out. Except for this blog post.

My reason for Contacting a stranger like you is to erase every evidence of insecurity on the funds which I want to entrust to your care on private or corporate capacity. The fund is $ 30million contained in two boxes and securely conveyed to Europe by a trusted official Diplomatic Personnel That I will link up to you, when you've indicated interest to assist me and my family by responding to this urgent call quickly.

This all sounds totes legit and not at all like a terrible movie starring Nicolas Cage and the girl from "Scrubs."

If you are honest and trust-able

Oh I am trust-able. Please accept this profession of my trust-ability as concrete evidence of my trust-ability.

I will hand over the control of the fund's packages collection to you and 30% is yours, Then Remaining 70% You Shall invest in Any profitable business for 2 years on my family Behalf

Me: I would like to invest $21 million in FlippyBaby.com.

Financial Advisor: I just ... what? Where did you get $21 million?

Me: Uh, nowhere. I mean, I cannot leak me out on that. Also, this will be on behalf of the Mubarak family. From Egypt. Can you write that down somewhere?

and we can negotiate further on sharing profit on investment terms later on.

HERE IS $21 MILLION TO INVEST WE'LL WORRY ABOUT THE DETAILS LATER

1) Your Full Name: Hank Farthead

2) Your Address: 123 Fart Street, Fart City, USA

3) Your Telephone Number: 1-800-my30mil

4) Your Fax Number: LOL

5) Your Mobile Number: in between phones, pm me on facebook

6) The Name of the Closest Airport to your City of Residence: Papa John's Airport Station

Please I need all Requested information to forward to the Diplomat and Authorize him to begin communication with you for the collection.

Please tell the diplomat some of that info is to keep the government off our scent LOL (with the farts).

My position is tensed and I expect you to keep this message and all our communications about the fund at your topmost secret / privacy.

(prints out email correspondence)

(places it in box inscripted "topmost secret / privacy box")

(locks box, swallows key)

(places box in basement of abandoned warehouse)

(burns down warehouse)

(walks away whistling)

Comments

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