Spam email of the week

Subject: Find girls today

I think I am good. But okay.

Greetings, mighty mister! Whats up?

Not much. Just hanging out, trying to process being called mighty mister for the first time ever. You?

It feels like I need a company of a real man!

Oh, okay. You've ... come to the right place? I am currently listening to Sharon Van Etten and eating organic blue corn chips at my desk.

I am sure you are as hot as you page!

I believe you might be browsing the page of British paralympian Mike Kenny, but I'll take it.

Online dating sounds thrilling!

I guess.

Lets try it!

Okay. But promise me we can take it slow. I've never done this bef-

I have just uploaded two dozens of nude photos to my page .

Alright, well, I was going to say that I grew up in a small town and love reading mystery novels. But I suppose staring at your boobs for a while online could help get this relationship off the ground.

Please, search for me at the dating resource.

Not to be rude, but this subject header promised girls plural.

Join me in a private chat , baby !

No doubt ... babycakes sweet ... butt. Yikes. I am new at this. Anyway, my username is (edits username from "birdloverforworldpeace" to "mightymisterbigschlonger") mightymisterbigschlonger. I will find you.

With kisses,

I am blushing. And it takes a lot to make mightymisterbigschlonger blush. (eats handful of blue corn chips) (crumbs fall on pants)


Al Kawamoto said…
what if you want to find girls tomorrow? is the offer still valid
mkenny59 said…
I'm sorry, Al, but I believe the offer will be off the table come tomorrow. Not to say you won't be able to meet girls, but you'll have to do so via traditional means.