Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Classic card of the week




Random guy, 1992 Pro Set

Yeah, I mean…wow. This is one hell of a card right here, and I’m not even sure where to start. I suppose we can begin with the hat, which is really, I mean…I don’t even know. Then, let’s move on to the wedding ring, which specifies that yes, this man is, in fact, married. Possibly to a woman. Definitely to the Cleveland Browns. (The ring may also indicate that the hat was someone else’s handiwork: “Hey Loretta – get the hell over here and sew these heads onto my Browns cap. And where the hell is the f*$#@* sauerkraut?!” From there, let’s move on to what may be my favorite aspect of this card, which is saying a lot. This guy appears to be sleeping during a Browns’ game, and the card is entitled “Spirit of the Game.” That is some freakin’ spirit right there. It could just be that this guy, an obvious lifelong Browns’ fan, is simply closing his eyes during a crucial play of the game, not really wanting to witness the manner in which the Cleveland Browns are going to blow the game in question. Or maybe they just put Todd Philcox in the game. Either way, I’m sure there is nary a small piece of cardboard in the entire universe that so adequately sums up the vast ineptitude of the Cleveland Browns than this very card. One more thing. After the initial shock of this card wears off (if ever), you realize that, okay, this guy is just a member of the Dawg Pound (who just happens to be sleeping, of course). But, ummm…where is everybody else? Where is the rest of the Dawg Pound? I’ve seen the Dawg Pound, and I would imagine that it’s virtually impossible to take a picture of one of them without getting another a) beer gut, b) dog mask, or c) beer gut in the picture. So…what the heck? Was this guy outcasted from the Dawg Pound? Is he actually at his son’s Pop Warner game? Either way, you can’t question his spirit.

Did you know?
Other “Spirit of the Game” fan cards include one of William Ligue, Jr. and his son attacking Royals’ first base coach Tom Gamboa back in 2002, and that idiot who jumped into the netting at the Yankee game last year.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Those are some nasty looking Jowels he's got going on there. This is the most bogus filler card I've ever seen...I can just imagine the poor child who opened the sports card pack, hoping to find his favorite players, and gets smacked with this! I would have asked for my money back!