John Sterling update: Still not very good

Last summer, I detailed the inadequacies of John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman, the fumbling radio broadcasting team of the New York Yankees. Since last season was their first together, and because I’m a nice guy, I thought I was pretty diplomatic in my assertion. I detailed the positives and negatives of both. In fact, here’s a short recap:

Sterling:
Positives: good voice
Negatives: everything else

Waldman:
Positives: not nearly as exhausting as Sterling
Negatives: bad voice, virtually nonexistent

So, yeah…that was basically it. But now it’s one year later and honestly, I can’t take it anymore. Forget about Waldman – she’s just a necessary evil in the booth/world of John Sterling, as evidenced by his innate ability to simply ignore her, or, to casually yet condescendingly disagree with her. Whatever. My beef here is with Sterling. I mean, how many more seasons do we Yankee fans have to endure with this guy? Seriously? How many?

With that in mind, let’s take a deeper look at the reasons behind my annual summers of discontent when it comes to listening to Yankee games on the radio. And, just for the heck of it, let’s run this picture again:



John Sterling can never let anything just be. If it’s a sunny day, it’s “the most beautiful day you can possibly imagine,” or “a great day to be alive.” If the ballpark is full (and when isn’t it?) it inevitably leads to an incessant monologue about how amazing it is that so many people came to watch the Yankees – I mean, fifty-five thousand people!…On a Wednesday afternoon, no less! It’s just amazing. Simply amazing. And what a beautiful day… Ughhh.

I could even deal with that if it weren’t for the fact that Sterling cannot let the actual game stand on its own. If the Yankees win in the bottom of the ninth – regardless if it’s only an April game against the Devil Rays – Sterling is ready to FedEx a copy of the game tape to the Hall of Fame immediately. WHAT a game! I mean, what a game! The Yankees win it in the bottom of the ninth in one of the greatest games you will see all season long – I guarantee you that! So it’s the Yankees 8, and the Devil Rays 7, in what they’ll probably refer to as “the Greatest Game Ever Played. We’ll be back with the clubhouse report after this…

Not to mention, individual performances (as long as they come from Yankees) are the stuff of legend. Sterling came as close to an on-air orgasm as possible when Melky Cabrera robbed Manny Ramirez of a home run back in early June, immediately referring to it as “the play of the year.” (Hold your horses, John. Did you see Gary Matthews Jr.’s catch? Of course you didn’t – he’s not a Yankee.) Three weeks ago, I was listening to the Yanks play the Indians, and Randy Johnson had not given up a hit going into the fifth inning, which prompted Sterling to declare that THIS start was one of the “three or four best of his career.” Whoa, whoa, WHOA! It’s the fifth inning, John! Calm down. And not only did Johnson go on to give up a hit that inning, he went on to give up three runs. It’s almost as if Sterling had totally neglected the prime of Johnson’s career, when he consistently tossed three-hit, complete-game shutouts. He was so excited to be watching Johnson (finally) pitching well as a Yankee, that he had to beat us over the head with it.

I cannot stress enough how much I despise this aspect of John Sterling’s announcing. We’re intelligent baseball fans. We know when we’re listening to a great game. We know when we’re listening to a moderately good game, and we know the difference. We know when it’s nice outside – we’re not cuddled up next to a radio in a dungeon somewhere. A great day, great performance, or great game can never speak for itself when John Sterling is around, because John Sterling feels compelled to speak for it.

John Sterling cannot see. We discussed last season’s now infamous call of a ball that miraculously went “off the wall, and…into the stands!” Yikes. But just last week, I heard this one (I won’t quote it because I cannot remember it verbatim): He takes a strike…and hits it into…center field, for a base hit. Wait, what? Did he hit it out of the catcher’s glove? How does someone “take a strike” and get a hit on the same pitch? I’m confused. Sometimes I think you can actually hear John Sterling squinting. Also, three weeks ago, Jorge Posada hit a pitch, and this ensued: Jorge CORKS one, to DEEP center field!…It’s BACK, it’s a-WAY back!…Sizemore looks up…he’s at the track…makes the catch. Of course, this led to some rambling about how far the center field wall is at Jacobs Field, which is to say, it wasn’t Sterling’s fault that he messed up that call – it was the ballpark’s fault. Obviously. Which brings me to my next point…

John Sterling loves to say “obviously.” I mean, he really loves to say obviously. A quick sampling of fake quotes: “He doesn’t want to hit him with the pitch, obviously.” “The Yankees need to score runs, obviously.” “Suzyn has no idea what she’s talking about, obviously.” “Farnsworth needs to throw strikes, obviously.” “Joe Torre is wearing pants tonight, obviously.” You would think that, at broadcasting school, there is some kind of rule that states: If you feel compelled to say “obviously” after making a statement, you probably shouldn’t even bother with the statement in the first place. I’ve never been to broadcasting school, but I think that’s pretty obvious. (By the way, after that paragraph, that word has currently lost all meaning.)

John Sterling has definitely unknowingly quoted “Anchorman.” There is no doubt in my mind that Sterling, upon meeting someone who had the audacity to not know him, has said, “I don’t how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.” I’d put money on it.

John Sterling schills for the Yankees in a manner that is unprecedented in the realm of radio broadcasting. I don’t think I even need to go into detail about this. We all know - Torre is always right, Derek Jeter is the greatest player ever, other teams’ closers are mud underneath the spikes of Mariano Rivera (in fact, why do other teams even have closers?), Randy Johnson is one start away from “getting it” and is also very attractive, we should all be ashamed of ourselves for criticizing A-Rod, Bubba Crosby would be an all-star on another team, and so on and so forth. I bet he covers his ears whenever somebody mentions “Giambi” and “steroids” in the same sentence. It’s not only that he constantly praises the Yankees – he also has subtle ways of bashing the other team (except the Red Sox, a team he deems worthy of competing against the Yanks…way to go Boston!). I can distinctly remember him poking fun at the waist sizes of Sidney Ponson (while with Baltimore, of course) and Bartolo Colon in the past. If a mediocre pitcher is doing well against the Yanks, Sterling can’t hide his shock. Sometimes, I don’t even think he knows the players on the opposing team. During the Cleveland series, he combined Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner to form a player whom he described as “Grady Hafner.” (By the way, that is my third or fourth mention of the Cleveland series from a couple of weeks ago. Not Sterling’s finest work. Obviously. Okay, that word is back!)

The main reason I mention this is because, as a Yankee fan, it’s embarrassing. Sterling seems to encompass a nationwide perception of Yankee fans as pompous know-it-alls who care only about the Yankees, and who could care less about the rest of the baseball world. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I realize that Sterling is the radio broadcaster for the Yankees, and that he should lean their way, but his affection for the franchise is shameless, and his announcing is bereft of any objectivity whatsoever. (Sometimes when I’m listening to a game, all I can think about are those “Daaa Bears” SNL skits, and I picture four John Sterlings sitting around a table trying to decide what would happen if Derek Jeter faced Mariano Rivera.)

So yeah, all that is why I can’t stand listening to John Sterling. Plus all the other stuff I mentioned last year.

But on the other hand, he has a good voice. So it almost evens out.

Right, Suzyn?

Suzyn?

Comments

Egbert Souse said…
Mike- I'm a die-hard Yankee hater who lived in the NYC area for six years and I have to say that Sterling is so bad that I actually found myself feeling badly for Yankee fans! Good luck in your crusade to eject him from the radio game. As for Waldman, having to listen to somebody with a Boston accent shill for the Yankees brought up only one thought- "TRAITOR!"
Anonymous said…
Sounds a lot like crap the Orioles had to put up with with broadcaster Michael Reghi. A player couldn't pull a muscle; he had to "suffer a painful injury to the lower chestal region of his torso." Chestal!
Anonymous said…
I don't have a chance to listen to Yankees games since I live in the suburbs of Philly, but that was a spectacular article, and I want to listen if for no other reason to hear him screw up. I hate broadcasters like that. Imagine him trying to do a game on national tv or radio where he HAD to be impartial...
Beazer said…
I'm a Red Sox fan who has issues with the radio guys WE have...and I listened to one Yankees broadcast last year and was wondering why Waldman has a job. Not that she does a bad job, but I really don't know since all she did was agree with everything Sterling said. There was no give and take...it made no sense to me.

Ah well, this is brilliantly written. Nice to read!
Anonymous said…
I could not agree with you more, we're forced to listen to Sterling because he was the voice of the Yankees late 90's title winners. Him and Kay fighting for air time on the radio then was somewhat enjoyable. But since then he makes me want to drive my car into oncoming traffic when I am listening. Suzyn Waldman has her mouth so firmly wrapped around George Steinbrenner's cock and Sterling has his head so far up Steinbrenner's ass, that the only way we will get to hear something new is if Steinbrenner kicks the bucket. I'm sick of our commentators perpetuating the stereotype of Yankees fans. god dammit!
Anonymous said…
"Sterling seems to encompass a nationwide misperception of Yankee fans as pompous know-it-alls who care only about the Yankees, and who could care less about the rest of the baseball world. "

Totally agree. I am a Mets fan, and I remember a especially scarring episode, during this year's first subway series, in which the Mets and Yanks broadcasting teams decided to switch stations for an inning. I never really paid that much attention to the Sterling/Waldman team when I occasionaly listened to them on a drive back from work, given that I have known since last year that they kinda suck, but the difference between the crews was striking. After the 30 odd minutes of this Freaky Friday switcheroo finally came to an end, I started to feel somewhat bad for what radio-listening Yankees fans have to endure.
Of course, that wore of in like 12 seconds.

Then again, I think that the worst team I have ever heard was the TV crew for the Chicago White Sox, who I heard while catching an HDNET game. Wow, are they bad. At least Sterling is kinda getting up there, so maybe early-onset senility can be blamed for his weaknesses, but the ChiSox crew sounds like those guys that beat up Tom Gamboa. Just a couple of homer meatheads that bring nary a gram of baseball knowledge to their broadcast.
Anonymous said…
"Sterling seems to encompass a nationwide misperception of Yankee fans as pompous know-it-alls who care only about the Yankees, and who could care less about the rest of the baseball world. This couldn’t be further from the truth."

Buddy, have you listened to WFAN recently? It's not a misperception, nor is it only Sterling.
Emma said…
I hate Sterling less than some people (yep, it's that voice), but his home run calls really push me over the edge. "Alexander the Great!" and "Bam-Tino!" were bad enough, but when I heard "Absolutely Damon-ic!" for the first time this spring, I almost drove off the road. And you know it took him all winter to come up with that one.
Anonymous said…
I'm a board op for a Yankees Radio Network affiliate. You should hear what goes on during commercial breaks once in a while...

"Boy, I'll tell you, anybody who tells you they've got baseball figured out is a-lyin'. It's really something. Well, it'll be a 2-2 pitch to Damon..."
Anonymous said…
Last night, Aaron Guiel hit a sand-wedge home run for the Yankees vs. the Rangers. Sterling's call:

"Hits one to right, it is high! It is far! It issssss gone!"

(pause)

"Aaron Guiel!"

(pause)

"With a smile!"
Anonymous said…
Emma:
Thank you for bringing up that point -- the home run calls are the absolute worst. Each time he starts yelling, "Bern, Baby, Bern," or "The Giamb-ino", I miss the next half-inning because I'm cursing at the radio. And, I'm a Yankees fan in Texas, so I'm stuck with the radio broadcasts (via the web) for most of my coverage.
Anonymous said…
Sterling is absolute exrement, and since I paid the $10 for MLB.com's audio feed, I tend to listen to the OTHER team's broadcast, and I'm a lifelong Yankee fan.

How could you omit, though, the most ridiculous of Sterling's affectations? To wit: "It's A-Bomb, for A-Rod!" and "a classic Jeterian hit!" and "Bernie Goes Boom!" and "the Giambino!" and of course, "Ballgame over, Yankees win, thuhuhuuh Yankees WIN! (regardless of the score, circumstance, or opponent).

He brings shame to a classy organization.
Senor Beavis said…
That drawn out "Thuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" is totally the sound of Sterling jerking off to his own voice.
Anonymous said…
My two biggest gripes are: 1.) Every comment Susan makes is preceded by "well, Joe says..." or "Talk to Joe, and he'll tell you..." Quit the cult while you still can, Susan! Yikes. Also, I know Sterling "Yankees win!" thing is his signature and whatnot, but I hate it when he gets so over-enthusiastic like, "Yankees win....Thhhhhhhhhhe YANKEES....WIN!!!!" They have a $200 million payroll, they have 26 world championships and they play the Orioles and Devil Rays like 35 times a year or something. It's really not that thrilling when they pull one out in late July. Save the World Series call for the World Series, Sterling, you putz.
Anonymous said…
This is from the Opie and Anthony show where they make fun of John Sterling. Jim Norton is hilarius throughout.

http://afro202.com/archives/xm-oav/ONAXM-09-01-05-(john-sterling-audio).mp3
Anonymous said…
What really hurts is that most of the TV team isn't much better (I say most because Kaat is good, but he does hardly any games now). I was so sickened this weekend as Michael Kay kept reminding viewers that he and Al Leiter are such good buddies ("I've been out with you in Chicago, Al, and I sure hope you weren't pitching the next day!"). I actually watch games with the sound off both the TV and radio sometimes. It's less frustrating that way.
Anonymous said…
I agree with all of this, except for your use of the word "misperception."
Anonymous said…
I can't tell you what a delight it is to read this, to know that there are some sane people out there. Sterling is so horrible that when I'm forced to listen to him I find myself rooting against the Yankees just so he'll be unhappy. I couldn't stand him in the '70's when he was on WMCA, often before and after the Yankee games, and I was stunned when he returned to NY to actually do the games. God willing, the end must be near.
X said…
I think the only thing missing is the incessant plugging of sponsors:

"So now for the Culligan Water Cooler post game summary. It’s the Yankees 8, and the Devil Rays 7, in what Fox Channel Two News at 10 will probably refer to as “the Greatest Game Ever Played. We’ll be back with the Cox Cable clubhouse report after this word from Acquafina, the official filtered water product of the New York Yankees
Anonymous said…
I'm giddy, having read not only Mike's rant but also the fan comments. I knew Yankees fans had more sense than the thugs they are portrayed to be. So I'm grateful for that.
I heard these two for the first time this year after I bought the XM, and I about choked on my own saliva.
Sterling is absolutely brutal.
And, yeah, the Giambino crap is insulting to the Babe. not to mention that its just plain trite.
However, I hate to say this but there are worse: Farmer-Singleton for the White Sox AND Harrelson-Jackson for White Sox TV. And Dave Wills with Tampa radio, who use to do, yes, the White Sox pregame and postgame shows.
Anonymous said…
X, you forgot the Lowe's press box.
Anonymous said…
C'mon though. There is no way sterling is worse than Michael Kay. I would give my left nut to get Kay's wanna be Al Michaels persona off the air. He constantly argues with the other commentators, all of which actually played, name drops, and generally sticks his nose where it doesn't belong throughout the entire broadcast. At least som of Sterling's stuff can be considered unintentionally humorous. But Kay's know-it-all attitude when he really knows nothing is only rivaled by Joe Buck.
Anonymous said…
Sterling is an arrongant Yankee syncophant. Even worse, he leaves the listener in the dark. Posada fouls one off? Is it to the left? The right? Deep? Slicing? Does the fielder have a chance? And the difference between is Yankee home run call and his opponent home run call is comical.
Anonymous said…
I could get past the Yankee shilling, the annoying nicknames, the hype, etc. -- if Sterling would only call the freaking game properly. You can't tell what is going on in the game when he does play by play. The "it is high it is far it is gone" homer call tells you nothing. Pitchers don't throw specific pitches, they "deal." Regular updates on count, outs, score, etc? Forget it. In a way it's a shame he is so awful since he has a great radio voice. At least he doesn't talk about the Nets as much as he used to.
Anonymous said…
I'm not sure which is funnier: Mike's article or some of the posts that follow. I live in North Carolina and we get the Yankees games on a local talk station here. The first time I heard Sterling I honestly thought I was listening to a local minor league game... until he launched into talking about the gods of his universe, the Yankees. I couldn't believe somebody this bad could get what is surely one of the premier team broadcasting gigs around.
Anyway, thanks Mike and all for coffee-out-of-the-nose outbursts of laughter. Much, much needed and appreciated!
VP81955 said…
John Sterling is to Phillies broadcaster Harry Kalas what Ted Baxter is to Edward R. Murrow. In short, Sterling is a hack, and no one in the NYC press has the cojones to say so.

BTW, it should be noted that midway through the 2001 season, someone in the Yankees' office decided to play a tape of Sterling's inane "the Yankeeeees win!" after every home victory at the Stadium. (Roger Clemens' 300th victory was thankfully an exception.) Can it be a coincidence that they haven't won a World Series since?
Anonymous said…
I also get much of my Yankee coverage via mlb.com and get to hear Sterling a lot. All I can say is I remember Red Barber and Vince Scully and Jack Buck and Mel Allen, and I'm jealous of LA Dodger fans for still having Scully.
Anonymous said…
While I agree that he is overall a pretty bad announcer, he has a great voice and he makes some of the more dramatic calls you will ever hear. For that reason I can forgive everything else he screws up. If he had a decent color guy, I think that booth would be just fine.

By the way, talking about how he called the Melky catch the play of the year, and you mentioned "Did he not see Gary Matthews Jr.'s catch?"

Matthews catch happened later in the season.
Anonymous said…
Sterling's real name is Harry Moskowitz. Look it up on Wikipedia.

I give you the voice of the New York Yankees, Harry Moskowitz!!

The phony sob even denies his Jewish roots.
VP81955 said…
I don't care if Sterling has a great voice. One could argue on vocal pipes alone, Vic Damone was superior to Frank Sinatra...but that didn't make Damone a better singer. (Oh, and Harry Kalas' voice puts Sterling's to shame. In another era, Harry would have been Milton Cross, hosting the Metropolitan Opera.)
Anonymous said…
Everything mentioned is accurate/on-point and needs to be brought to the attention of people who can do something about it. Even if its george stienbrienner or a professional assanin.
Anonymous said…
You people are correct I am a diehard Yankee fan and the radio announcers are unlistenable. However, so is Michael Kay on the TV side. Truely an unpleasant way to watch my favorite team. The Yankees run a first class organization with the exception of many of their broadcasters. The only exceptions are Kaat, Singleton, Murcer, and Flarerty
Anonymous said…
Most telling here is that nobody ... NOBODY ... is defending John. Or Harry. Or The Hack. Or The Only Announcer Who Could make Ron Santo Sound Good.
Anonymous said…
I'm a Boston fan who has the pleasure of listening to this dynamic duo since I live in the New York area. My favorite all time Sterling quote came after the Yankees got Ron Villone and Sterling couldn't say enough good things about the guy. He then ended his rant with, "I guess you can say I'm Pro-Villone." Waldman couldn't even bring herself to comment on this pathetic attempt at humor, so after a few seconds of silence he added, "That was a cheezy joke."

I was embarassed for the Yankees organization and felt sorry for it's fans. Great article Mike!
Anonymous said…
Sterling is a great announcer. I love that you can tell he'd rather be doing nothing else in the world then calling Yankee games just by listening to him.

The people that criticize him are the same that boo A-rod, the same that consider Mattingly a God, and people who just aren't happy unless they're bitching about something.
Anonymous said…
I love the Yankees. And I love unintended comedy. With John Sterling, I get to enjoy both at the same time. To really appreciate Sterling's incompetence, you must watch him on the YES Network when he hosts the taped studio portions of the Yankeeographies. He has the same blustery baritone going, but he looks absolutely terrified. He has the affect of a man who just realized that he's on television naked. The eyes glaze over, the hands wander about nervously. But the money shot comes at end of the show when the lights dim and he aimlessly wanders off camera. You're just waiting for him to trip over a cable and take a header. His dis-ease on camera is further proof that he is a shell of a man hiding behind his velvety voicebox. Did I say "velvety"? I meant Velveeta. It's also a treat when he suffers from homer call interruptus, as in, "It is HIGH, it is FAR, IT... IS... caught on the warning track by Hunter for the third out of the inning and at the end of three, the score is Twins 3, Yankees nothing." He loves his homer call so much that he unsheathes it for every can of corn fly ball.
Best new Sterling call: " OH, THE MELK-MAN DE-LIVERS!"
Anonymous said…
Great article Mike. I'm a Sox fan in VT who listens to the trainwreck Yankees radio broadcasts whenever they're not playing at the same time.

This just happened in tonight's game:

John Sterling: "Aaron Guiel hits a 2-2 pitch into the Tiger Stadium right field seats"

Um, you're in Texas dumbass...
VP81955 said…
This just happened in tonight's game:

John Sterling: "Aaron Guiel hits a 2-2 pitch into the Tiger Stadium right field seats"

Um, you're in Texas dumbass...


Ever been to the Ballpark in Arlington? Its upper deck in right field has an overhang that evokes Tiger Stadium. That's probably what Sterling meant. He should have phrased it a little better, though. Heck, a lot better.

One wonders whether John has some compromising pictures of Steinbrenner. I can't imagine any other way he retains his job, and I can't imagine that WCBS or any station with Yankees rights actually wants him doing the games.

It's been said a good announcer brings fans to the team. Ernie Harwell certainly did that with the Tigers; same thing with Vin Scully and the Dodgers. (And many will argue that Harry Caray, along with Dick Allen, kept the White Sox from leaving Chicago in the early seventies.) Conversely, Sterling has the opposite effect; his obnoxiousness has turned many people away from the Yankees, despite their attendance records.
Anonymous said…
I am by no means a Yankees fan. Objectively speaking though they have the worst television and radio broadcast team going. I respect the Yankees talent and enjoy watching/listening to games with the vast amount of talent, but their crews really ruin the game. What a disgrace. I will say this, the Chicago White Sox announcers are the most blatant homers in the league. It is sickening to listen to those 2 idiots. They cry and whine about calls, I cant believe they are on any national channel. Now I wish somebody would make a web page on them (I dont have the time).
wow...

now I'm gonna have to find an intarwebs stream of the Yankees radio just to hear this guy...

Vin Scully and Bill King...

all you need to know about baseball announcers.

What the heck, all you need to know about sports announcers...
Anonymous said…
From Chicago:

I like Ed Farmer and Chris Singleton has improved a lot since the start of the season.

The Hawkeroo and Feisty, on the other hand--certainly an "acquired taste", ahem.

"HE GONE!........"
Anonymous said…
get over it...why do you listen to games on the radio if you hate sterling so much, get a tv like real people
Anonymous said…
I have XM and a White Sox fan, but I listen to a lot of baseball but I can't listen to the Yankees because of Sterling. "A back to back and a belly to belly." YUCK!
As bad as they are, the Cleveland and Oakland radio teams are just as bad.
Anonymous said…
Why is he expected to be impartial? He's not Dan Rather in Memogate, for chrissakes, he's *The Yankees* announcer.

But can't we get Mike Kay back as The Sidekick? Listening to Sue is like watching paint dry.
VP81955 said…
I would bet some of Sterling's other #2s over the years (Jay Johnstone, Charley Steiner) would have some interesting things to say about him if you caught them at the right time (e.g., after a few drinks). Waldman probably was moved into the job because she's not perceived as a threat; I believe Sterling now does every inning of play-by-play, unique in the industry. (It's like that "Mary Tyler Moore Show" episode where Ted Baxter is afraid to take a vacation because he knows the replacement will make him look bad.)

I have no love for Ken Harrelson, the TV equivalent of Sterling, and the White Sox radio guys this year are pretty dire. However, for years the Chisox had one of the best radio men going in John Rooney, who was easy to listen to, understated and enthusiastic but fair. Unfortunately, because he and the new Sox flagship station couldn't agree to terms, he left for St. Louis after becoming the first-ever Chicago announcer on either side of town to call a World Series win for his team. (Think about that. Bob Elson, Jack Brickhouse, Harry Caray, Bert Wilson, Hal Totten...a lot of top announcers have graced Chicago's baseball airwaves since the 1920s.)
Anonymous said…
You haters kill me. Sterling is the truth.

Also that catch by Melky was the best catch of the season up to that point. Matthews made his catch weeks later.
Manny Ortiz said…
I'll take Howie Rose's corny jokes over Sterling's pompousness any day. And Rose gets brownie points for doing a super job on the NY Rangers radio back in '94.

Thing about Sterling is, in the early 90's, he wasn't that bad. No unique home run calls for Matt Nokes or Jesse Barfield, no "theee Yankees win" (of course, back then that never happened), and not even pitcher's throw to first had a sponsor.

I guess once the Yankees did well, the guy got all pompous and arrogant (and old), and simply started to suck. Sterling ought to listen to tapes of his games; maybe then he'll realize just how awful he is.

As for Waldman, she's definitely a step above Steiner, and unlike her compadre, doesn't spend all night stating the obvious. But the way Sterling treats her, she's probably done a lot of crying on the way home from ballgames.
Manny Ortiz said…
Biggest difference between the White Sox crew and Sterling? The White Sox guys will never admit to being "professional." They'll tell you in a second that they're homers.

Sterling, OTOH, thinks he's a professional. If you even accused him of being a homer, he'd give you a look from hell.
Anonymous said…
I'm a big Yankee fan- Michael Kay stinks too.

Funny post.
Anonymous said…
I'm a Yankees fan way out here in Northwest Ohio, and several years ago I bought the radio package on MLB.com. After listening to Sterling for a year I couldn't take it any more. He's the absolute worst I've ever heard. He was teamed with Michael Kay at the time. I can't believe that the New York friggin' Yankees can't lure someone better to New York. (Josh Lewin, who does Texas Rangers TV is excellent) But, I guess nobody really could ever measure up when you grew up listening to Ernie Harwell, as I did.
Anonymous said…
I dig Sterling. Yeah he's a homer, and while his homerun calls tend to be real corny, they're hilarious. It's understandable that so many people hate him- people who listen either love him or hate him. Who would of thunk it?
VP81955 said…
I can't believe that the New York friggin' Yankees can't lure someone better to New York.

Oh, they could -- but Crazy George obviously doesn't want to. (Either that, or Sterling has compromising pix of him.) Sterling is to Steinbrenner what Monte Moore was to Charlie Finley's Oakland A's...a house man to the nth degree.


NYC officials should have given Steinbrenner this ultimatum: no new Yankee Stadium until Sterling is removed from broadcasts.
Anonymous said…
STERLING MAKES THE YANKEES!!! ALL OF YOU SO CALLED YANKEE FANS... STERLING IS THE MAN!!!!!
Anonymous said…
Sterling is so awful, on several occasions he has made calls to the wrong side of the field. Mike and the Maddog have matched his calls to game footage, with deep flies to left being fielded by the right fielder. How do Sterling and Tim McCarver have jobs? Does anybody enjoy listening to these two?
Anonymous said…
I love this analysis -- can you write one about Michael Kay. I can not stand Michael Kay -- if I saw him on the street I would spit in his face -- seriously dude. Tim McCarver too would get a snot rocket in his grill.
Anonymous said…
this is eerie, but here's a fun drinking game I posted today . .
http://soxfaninhell.livejournal.com/

Mr. Zero
Anonymous said…
Twice last season we had to pull over because I was laughing so hard at something Sterling said:

1. A typical muff during a game with the Rangers: "hit deep to right, it is high, it is far, it is... wait, Susan, I didn't see it -- did he catch it -- no, it's gone!!!" You could already here the annoying stadium home run music playing while he was dicking around wondering if it was caught. He must be blind.

2. The first time he rolled out last year's A-Rod homer call, I almost crashed my car. In 2005, he really said, on forty-eight separate occassions:

"Alexander the Great conquers again!"

He is a joke and it's a disgrace that we pay $200 million for the best players on earth just to let this guy make a joke out of the games. Broadcasters are like umpires. Good ones are nearly invisible, just doing enough to move the game along and let it shine for itself. The fact that he puts so much effort into his "signature calls" means he thinks people actually tune in to here his schtick. Jesus, baseball broadcasters shouldn't even have a schtick!

I live and die for the Yankees, but I'd rather listen to the Mets, who have some underrated announcers - Howie Rose and Gary Cohen were my favorite, but Gary is now doing TV (ie babysitting Keith Hernandez). Now I hate the Mets, but I have to give Howie and Gary and the new guy Tom McCarthy, and even pregame caddy Ed Coleman some respect - they know the game and really draw you in. They talk a little too much but at least they say words that make sense, and they come across as genuine New York guys who you'd enjoy sitting next to while you watch the game at the bar.

None of these guys comes close to the announcers I had the pleasure to hear when I lived in the Bay Area in the mid 90s - Jon Miller on the Giants, Bill King on the A's. For six months a year, you could listen to hall of fame broadcasters every night of the week.

Oh, and as if your rant on Sterling wasn't perfect enough, you also slipped an obscure Ralph Wiggum quote into the title. Fans, that's the best blog entry you'll read all year. Or at least Gary Mathews writes a better one.
Anonymous said…
jerseyjeff, I'm from Iowa and I resent that.
Anonymous said…
On Sunday I was forced to listen to Sterling talk about how Giambi's hit in the top of the wall. The moron must have talked about it for 5 minutes or more, saying it in any conceivable way. "an inch more and it would have been gone", "that literally hit the top and bounced back in"

It's a joke that he is a NY announcer. Thank god the Mets have a solid crew (even if Keith and Ron sound the same).
Anonymous said…
Driving home from a minor league game Monday night, my father and I tuned in the last few innings of the Yankees-Rangers matchup.

Sterling made endless remarks of how dark the stadium was that he could not see into the bullpen. Eventually, they managed to ID who was warming up in the shadows. Suzie added, referring to the invisible relievers (this is an exact quote):

"If you didn't know who they were, you wouldn't know who they were."

In between giggles, I said to my dad, "You can't really argue with that." Which you can't. What a duo.
Anonymous said…
Mike et al,

This is unbelievable. Your critiqe couldn't be more spot on. I am a life-long Yankees' fan who now lives in New England. Sterling used to drive me crazy when I was back in Jersey but I thought I was part of a small minority. I could handle it when he bickered with Michael Kay on the air but he seems to have gotten worse since he was paired with Steiner and now Waldman.

Now, because I don't get the broadcasts locally, I've picked up XM and mlb.com and it's become even more aggravating. I, like a lot of other people, would have loved to have Cohen and Rose do Yankee games. As someone else remarked, they are smart and don't try to overshadow the games.

Check out Raissman killing Sterling's call of THE MELK MAN DELIVERING!

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/story/425012p-358531c.html

He's become a caricature of himself. Please stop it now!
Anonymous said…
GREAT article. I spent some time away in CA recently and was stuck listening to Red Sox games on XM which only allows you the home teams broadcast, so I got to hear the Rays, Blue Jays, and White Sox radio teams and I was just appalled. I actually turned off the Rays team they were so horrible. The Jays had guys with Canadian accents which I found really annoying, I mean import someone from Detroit or something... The White Sox team was the most bearable as they, while boring in tone, actually seemed pretty balanced and occasionally interesting/funny. Now I was trying to guess which teams had the best radio teams and I had included the Yankees because I assumed that with a historical club/huge fan base like that they would really make sure they had special talent. (Despite the fact whoever does YES is a %$@!$#$$ retard with the WORST home run call of all time: "SEEEYA!!!" - Chris Berman is a close second with: "BACKBACKACKBACKACK GOOOONE!") It just blows my mind that they are just as bad as the Tampa Bay guys. I hate to say it, but the next time the yankees/sox play use mlb radio and check out Castiglione and Trupe because they are right out of the 40s. Just a joy to listen to. They are even only really biased in that when the Sox choke with RISP or something they just call it with this perfect deflated tone. I prefer them to our TV guys even, although I like them too, but would for both even if I wasnt a Sox fan. But I live in fear of the day they retire and we may get stuck with some poser. I truly am sorry, no one, not even Yankee fans deserve bad baseball play by play, it is just plain wrong. But it seems the quality nationwide continues to decline... Maybe we should get congress involved?
VP81955 said…
Castigliano and his Bosox partner are okay, if a bit bland. But do we have to make everything Yankees vs. Red Sox? Most fans west of the Delaware River wish both of those teams would disappear.
Anonymous said…
Sterling came as close to an on-air orgasm as possible when Melky Cabrera robbed Manny Ramirez of a home run back in early June, immediately referring to it as “the play of the year.” (Hold your horses, John. Did you see Gary Matthews Jr.’s catch? Of course you didn’t – he’s not a Yankee.)

Cabrera's catch was June 6th. Matthews' catch was July 1st. So no, Sterling did not see it. Not only was this whole thing very unfunny, but you're a halfwit.
Anonymous said…
:Sterling came as close to an on-air orgasm as possible when Melky Cabrera robbed Manny Ramirez of a home run back in early June, immediately referring to it as “the play of the year.”:

Uhh...Sterling's exact call was "The play of the game, maybe the play of the year".

I wonder if the paper you write for is as much of a rag as your blog.
Anonymous said…
we all know the matthews jr catch was after melky, but maybe the point is that sterling should hold off on declaring the play of the year on june 6th.
Anonymous said…
Thank-You, Thank-You, Thank-You! I have been telling my Yankee fans (who all agree) that the main reason I can't stand the Yankees is because of Sterling - the biggest ass in all of broadcasting. Do you know how many times I hear him make a mis-call - screaming about a deep-fly that is caught 10 feet in front on the fence. He babbles and babbles , amkes mis-call after mis-call and is simply the worst broadcaster in the history of baseball.
Anonymous said…
Sterling does annoy people, and he does often say "it is high, it is far, it is foul!, or caught! or off the wall! But he does keep the game exciting...However the yankee radio experience has not been the same since Michael Kay helped bring YES to life (Im a Yankee fan and I can't stand YES' coverage)....Kay and Sterling were very good together, now Kay just talks too much, and Sterling os stuck with a partner that doesnt say anything productive...
Michael Leggett said…
"& This Single is BROUGHT TO YOU BY Cingular":

It seems like every other word is sponsored by someone & Sterling is The Embodiment of an Infomercial.
Michael Leggett said…
Well Written! Bravo!
Anonymous said…
If you think that Melky Cabrera catch was better than Aaron Rowand, then you are clearly insane.
MBC said…
Agree with almost all, but as a Yankees fan who commuted back and forth from Philly for 5 years, I can't tell you how many exits I'd pass on the N.J. Turnpike before he might actually think to mention THE SCORE (remember Red Barber? With his egg timer?). Also, I would pick a nit and say Sterling "embodies" rather than "encompasses" the nation's perception of Yankees fans... Great screed, though....
CMB said…
Great job Mike! As you know, I am not a fan of Suzyn's at all and Sterling is a bit annoying to say the least. BUT, lately, Michael Kay is the absolute worst. I'd rather sit in silence watching the game and have Steve to the play by play. MK is just horrible. Keep up the good work!
Anonymous said…
I will defend John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman. We live in Florida and listen to games on XM radio and they broadcast the home team announcers. We've heard some horrible announcers! The Minnesota announcers have absolutely no inflection in their voice; so monotone. I yell at some other announcers to give the score or the pitch count. Those two things seem pretty basic to me. You've got to remember, this is RADIO, I'm not at the game, I have no idea what the weather is or the crowd size unless you tell me. I think Sterling does a good job of painting a verbal picture. So I'm glad when it's a home Yankees game that I listen to b/c at least I'll know the pitch count and the score and the announcing is more interesting than dry toast.
Anonymous said…
I'm convinced this is a stroke of genius on Steinbrenner's part. Yankees fans will always tune in, and fans of other teams (Mets for me) will tune in for the laughs.
Anonymous said…
sterling is gold. how could you not get a little excited listening to the emotion in his effusive call of games? do yourself a favor buy an xm radio and listen to the other mlb radio guys. you'll be in shock at what little life they bring to a broadcast. i travel freq all over the us and have been to many of the mlb parks with radio in tow. sterling is by far one of the most entertaining radio guys and that's what baseball is... entertainment after all.
Anonymous said…
In a city of diversity such as New York aren't the Yankee announcers perfect? John Sterling is singing show tunes, Michael Kay is having an orgasm describing the player's uniforms and Waldman is more of a man than either of the others. We may not have great announcers but they are certainly androgynous--except for Kimberly Jones who could not possibly be more of the dumb blonde! Is that really her voice or is she trying to be Marilyn Monroe?
Anonymous said…
I never realized how many people dislike Sterling as much as they do. I always disliked Kay because he is a moron and not a good announcer. Given the choice I perfer Sterling. I try to watch as many games as possible and listen to the radio. Unfortunately, the radio and video don't sync up. You would think the CBS would adjust that to get more listeners.
Anonymous said…
Terrible and uninformed article. I listen to almost every Yankee game and I think he's the best there is. Not only is he informative and funny, but he has a great voice and knows how to get someone excited and to properly describe something.

I think Waldman and him make a great team and his phrases are creative.

I also hear him criticize the Yankees as much as the next guy. He criticizes him when they need to be criticized. When they walk someone they shouldn't walk he'll say it was atrocious. or if ARod makes a poor error he will say it was poor. This idea that he is Steinbrenner's puppet or a Yankee apologist is wrong. Sure he wants the Yankees to win, but he also gives the other team credit and talks about what's going on outside of New York, something this writer said he doesn't do.

All in all, an awful, uninformed, partial article.
Anonymous said…
John Serling...aka Rod Serling broadcasts as if he were in the Twilight Zone. He and Kay were the perfect team because each one is just as awful as the other.

Why can't we find announcers in the mold of Bill White?
Anonymous said…
no no.. the funniest thing you all forgotten... when the yankees are loosing. either its tv/radio/etc...

the announcers sound SOOOOOOO depressed. like theyre parents are dead or something.

i am a diehard mets fan.

at least my announcers are excited for both teams and..


THEY DO NOT.. (yankee announcers do) refer to there team as them.

Example(s) of Yankee Announcers: Jeter needs to help US out here with a homerun.

Well, right now WE are winning 15-3 and WE are beating the redsox OH I WANNA EJACULATE IN MY PANTS!!




The funniest though...

Homeruns when a Yankee hits a homerun

:Insert opposing team's OF name here: LOOKING UP AT THE TRACK, WALL, SEEEEEE YAAAAAAA!!! A HOMERUN FOR :Insert Yankees name here:

Homeruns when Opposing teams hit a homerun

We will use Manny Ramirez hitting a grandslam, and putting Boston up 10-1...

Ramirez, hits one.. :Yankee OF here: looks up, gone.

::at least a 15 min pause::

Yankee Announcer (in a voice that sounds like his entire family died): Well that is only Manny's 19th career grandslam. We (notice I did NOT say Yankees) are loosing 10-1, but let's not worry, it's just a game and we're the Yankees and we have 26 world series rings and we're the best.





Example(s) of Met Announcers:


When Wright would get a RBI single: Wright lines one to center field, thats a run, it is now 5-3 Mets.


When Andruw Jones gets an RBI single:
Jones lines one to center field, thats a run, it is now 7-2 Braves.


^^^^^ Hey.. do you notice its the same thing?

Ok, lets do Homeruns now.. I'll even let the opposing team hit a grandslam against the mets and the mets hit only a solo homerun.

Mets -- 1. Delgado drives one, deep to right... OUTTA HEREEEEE

Marlins -- 2. Cabrera drives one, deep to left... OUTTA HEREEEE.. A GRANDSLAM FOR MIGUEL CABRERA AND THE MARLINS LEAD BY 5!!!




....get it? Oh, one more thing i forgot to mention it, the yankee announcers will NEVER say that the other team is winning. They will say that THEY, WE, US (the yankees) are loosing.
Anonymous said…
The guys on the raido for the yankees don't sound depressed at all. they sound the same whether they're winning or losing. as far as tv i couldn't tell you because i have never heard their tv announcers.

the red sox radio guys sound depressed when they lose, especially joe castiglione.
Anonymous said…
Did anyone catch this insufferable a-hole's latest home run call for Johnny Damon over the weekend. Something about a Damon ding-dong dinger, or something like that? Some Irish thrown in for good luck? How can anyone seriously say this man shouldn't be boiled alive?
Anonymous said…
I must echo one of the earlier comments made;as an XM subscriber,Sterling does add more entertainment value than most.However,he can go overboard with comments like,"Jeter only steals a base when it's important" or "It is high,it is far,it is....CAUGHT at the wall." Anyway,he and Susan are no more schills for their team as are the Tribe announcers,and the Yankees have us beat 26-2 in titles.Have a good one,and remember "Robbie Cano....dontcha know??? "
Anonymous said…
One last comment on the announcer issue.

I never realized that so many people disliked Sterling. I for one don't mind him. Actually, if you listen to him regularly you will note he is most articulate and seldom makes grammatical errors. He is an excellent announcer with a radio voice but I could see how his theatrical antics could annoy a listner.

On the TV side, Mckay is an a putz! he makes so many mistakes in his calls, he says "my bad" when he catches himself or when the director tells him he screwed up. What ever "my bad" means. He mis-uses the language which I think is bad news for the youngster listening and likely to be thinking that his errors reflect proper english. And lastly, and most annoyingly...his reference to "last Licks" is usually incorrect. last licks only refers to the bottom of the ninth when the home team has its last chance to tie or win the game. he refers to the losing team going to the top of the 9th as having their last licks...WRONG! Your bad...you jerk.
Anonymous said…
I'm glad to hear that there is so much venom against the Yankee broadcast team. I can't stand John Sterling, and I was tickled to read this blog. I had always wondered if there were Yankee fans who disliked him as much as I do.

I'm glad I won't have to hear him any more this year.
Anonymous said…
This announcer is brought to you by Sterling Optical. I'm just waiting for the day when he goes into the tired "thuuuuuuu Yankees win" a bug goes in and he chokes just a bit. Thuuu...chhckchcch..uu...*cough cough* Yankees win!! Broadcasting gold
Anonymous said…
It's Radio Mike, get a grip.
Anonymous said…
I agree--listening to the Yankees' games on the radio is torture because of the bad announcing. Infuriating, in fact. But I have found a solution. I subscribe to MLB's Gameday Audio so I can listen to games at work on my computer. When I listen to the Yankees game, I just select the other team's radio broadcast. That way I can hear the game (with significantly fewer in-game advertisements) and actually hear what is happening.
Anonymous said…
This insightful blog entry gave a perfect commentary on Sterling before we all knew how insane he truly is.

Delusional John: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fINd9Z3U2TQ
Anonymous said…
John Sterling is impossible! He makes certain to gush over every litle trivial thing for what seems like an eternity, but rarely gives the score & who the Yankees are playing. At the end of a half inning he gives the score like this: "It's 3 to 2 Yankees" never mentioning the team they are playing. How can anyone be so stupid! At the top of the half inning after commercials etc., he rarely gives the score so your in the dark as to the score & who the Yanks are playing. What an idiot!
How many times can he say "fabulous" in one broadcast?
Has anyone counted yet. What a jerk! He is the worst ever & he's happy to have an inept sidekick like Susan for his super huge ego.
She makes certain to giggle at his corny humor. Why does I hear her hum sometimes? What's going on?
By the way does he have a web site or does anyone know his e-mail address? If his e-mail address was available to all the people who would like to tell him a few things, his computer, I'm sure would crash! You Mets fans are so lucky to have a very professional radio team. I envy you guys.
Anonymous said…
I have no problem with Sterling's "THAAA YANKEES WIN" thing he does, bu all his catch phrases for the players gotta go, all of you claim there are worse broadcast teams, I can't imagine that.
Anonymous said…
I remember John Sterling when he announced braves games on WTBS from 1982 to 1987. He was the same then, every play was the greatest in the history of baseball. Even then he had the same lame homerun call, can't tell you how many times with Dale Murphy at the plate that i heard, it is high, it is far, it is off the top of the wall or caught at the warning track. Thank god we had Skip Carey and Pete Van Wieren and Ernie Johnson to counter act the poison that was John Sterling.
Anonymous said…
I think Suzy Waldman is terrific! Very knowledgeable about baseball, and there is nothing wrong with her voice. She is from New York. Has a wonderful tone and quality to her voice. Better than listening to a Southern drawl or twang any day of the week. John Sterling does a decent job; however, without Suzy, it would never be as informative and enjoyable. I don't know what type of speaking voice you are used to....but if you like the Hee Haw announcers or those who are a bag of fluff, no substance, then you should not listen to John and Suzy.
Unknown said…
I loved this entire rant on Sterling and Waldman and I couldn't agree more. Is there any way a petition could be created and sent into CBS radio so that they can see just how many people really do not like listening to those two? I find myself shutting the games off because I can't bare to hear them talk about God knows what and not even informing the listeners of what is going on in the game accurately. I can go on for a long time about what I can't stand about these two but I'll save it for now.
Anonymous said…
Sterling did Hawks and Braves when I was growing up in Atlanta, and I'm still scarred from all the times where I heard him say crap like, "Dominique... is magnifique!"

We were so glad when he left town... how in the heck did he get the NY job???
Anonymous said…
John Sterling is one of the greatest broadcasters ever. His enthusiasm and energy brings life and enjoyment for millions of people nationwide. All u haters are just jealous that he is truly the Voice of the Yankees and will be for a long time. So too bad on you complainers, John Sterling owns New York radio, and there's nothing you can do about it. So in the words of Sterling, all of you should go high, far and gone. Sterling, the Yankees and New York City are the best and will always be number 1.
Anonymous said…
John Sterling aka Harry Moskowitz is 70 years old born July 4th 1938 in the Bronx, NY. He is NOT 60 which he will tell you.
Doodles0325 said…
ok i totally ahve to agree john sterling is by far one of the worst broadcasters i have ever met...however him and susan are the reason i love listening to the games on the radio because they are just so stupid and incoherent as to wat is really going on you cant help but laugh.....he does state the obvious way too much...however his new excuse as to why he's not telling us nething is because he cant see ne more...i mean the bumbling fool even admits it himself...but what really makes me laugh is as of 08...he cant let you kno his opinion until susan looks at the monitor...."well folks i'll let you know in a minute if the homerun was far or not but susan has the monitor" hey john turn ur head and look urself...oh yeah thats right you cant see.....and another one of my fave things he does is is some1 from the minors hits a bunch of homeruns right away they immediately have a homerun call...like duncan in 07...."DUNCAN...DUNKED IT"...i literally spit out the drink was having when i heard that...but my all time fave of himm stating the obvious was when the guy from sports illustrated came into the booth for the half of the 5th inning and john proceed to say at the end "well that's the end of steve....oh well not really he's just fine i meant he was leaving for the day we'll see him tomorrow" thanx for the info john
i like suzyn b/c its funny how w/e

i liked susan when she was on YES Network...she was very insightful and informative...now she's not even allowed to have her own opinion...while these 2 certainly are the 2 biggest doofuses to ever broadcast a game...i cant help but be amused while listening to them
Anonymous said…
I have met him more than once and talked to him on the phone (not on a call in show, but personally on our home phones), and he is a very nice guy; perhaps that is not relevant to this discussion, but how does John work 21 years for Steinbrenner while most employees, including managers and coaches, feel fortunate to make it to 21 months
Anonymous said…
Sterling is 71 yrs old born in 1938pretending to be 10 yrs younger. that should explain why he cannot see or hear anymore.. has no idea how to turn on a computer much less work one..he should be very thankful he has producers looking up all the information for him to keep him employed.
fatheroffont said…
The only thing I would like to add is that John Sterling is the worst broadcaster in the history of the Yankees, even worse than Frank Messer. He's a cryer, a whiner, and he puts the EmPHAsis on the wrong SyLAble. Every time I am forced to listen I can only think of Dusty Springfield's song Wishin and Hopin especially if the Yankees are behind. If there is any way to organize a retirement party for him, please count me in.
Anonymous said…
Second game of the season and I can't take another broadcast by this putz.
Biaggio said…
Always nice to hear whatayou know Cano and theeeeeetheeee yankees win....
http://welovetheyankees.blogspot.com/2011/10/whatayouknow-cano-cano-knocks-in-6.html