Classic card of the week

*Special Friday edition
Mike Tresemer, 1989 Star

I am 100 percent certain that, with the possible exception of one Mike Tresemer, I am the only person on the planet in possession of this card. And honestly, I have no idea where this thing came from. It’s not a “classic card” in the sense that people are at least mildly familiar with the player. Or the team. Or the brand of card. Or anything really. But there is a great mustache, and a surplus of the color blue, and that’s gotta count for something. In fact, I’m not even sure this is a real baseball card. For starters, Mike Tresemer, according to the card, is a pitcher, yet, he is holding a baseball bat. “This is me getting ready to bunt.” Also, Tresemer appears to be a member of a team called the Memphis Chicks, which would seem like quite an effeminate name for a baseball team, especially one that features at least one great ‘stache. But upon further inspection, the “Chicks” were short for “Chickadees,” which was the name of a Native American tribe. I’m sure the Native Americans were proud. “Okay, listen – here’s the deal. We’ll take Memphis, but your memory will live on in the form of a Double-A baseball team. Sound good? Here’s a Mike Tresemer card. Try not to smoke it.” The back of the card also specifies that Tresemer spent part of 1988 playing for Baseball City, where he went 7-2 with a 2.14 ERA. He then moved on to Home Run Town, and later Baseballville, where he was equally as dominant. The “Star” in the upper right hand corner is apparently the brand of the card. The Star Company specialized in creating minor league baseball cards that nobody bought because they featured players who never made it to the major leagues because they sucked. Actually, the more I look at this card, the less I’m convinced that it’s real. I’m thinking someone from my dad’s company softball team back in the day went to the Brunswick Square Mall and had this done, and it somehow ended up in my box of old cards. It probably says “Lovers” on the back of the jersey. Yeah – the Mobil Chicks-Lovers. That sounds about right. And it’s much less offensive. Sort of.

Did you know?
The last “R” in “Tresemer” is silent, and his clubhouse mustache grooming tactics eventually led to the popular line of Treseme hair-care products.