Thursday, March 02, 2017

MSN quick links of the week

WHAT'S TODAY, THURSDAY

OK I NEED 40 FLAVORFUL EGG RECIPES, 6 BIGGEST RIPPLE EFFECTS, 8 CARS WITH CONNECTIVITY FEATURES, 16 CHRISSY TEIGEN RECIPES, AND 35 HOMEMADE HACKS FOR PACKAGED SNACKS

IF ONLY I COU-


WOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY

MSN: HOW ABOUT THANK YOU

THANK YOU

ALSO

GOURMANDIZE CEO: HOW DO WE HACK A SNACK

INTERN: DOES A SNACK NEED HACKING? I THINK YOU JUST EAT IT

GOURMANDIZE CEO: LOL YOU ARE SO NAIVE, WE DON'T GET CLICKS WITH ARTICLES LIKE "ONE WAY TO EAT A SNACK"

INTERN: OH

GOURMANDIZE CEO: DOES ANYONE KNOW IF TRISCUITS CAN BE USED FOR CROWN MOULDING

INTERN: HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF EATING OREOS OUT OF THE PACKAGE LIKE AN A$$HOLE YOU STACK THEM ON A PLATE LIKE A CIVILIZED HUMAN BEING

GOURMANDIZE CEO: OK NOW WE'RE TALKING-- BARB, ARE YOU WRITING THIS DOWN

OH I ALMOST FORGOT, I ALSO NEED 7 MYTHS



HOLD UP ARE YOU SAYING THAT DRESSING LIKE POPEYE AND JAZZERCISING WITH MY CREW WILL *NOT* RESULT IN ME LOSING FOUR POUNDS?

THIS HAS BEEN A LIFE WASTED

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE




IS THAT GOOD OR BAD

SHOULD I BE SHOCKED AND INDIGNANT OR PLEASANTLY SURPRISED

DAMMIT FOOTWEAR NEWS, YOU'VE FORCED MY HAND TO CLICK ONCE AGAIN




I THINK I SAW THIS DOCUMENTARY ALREADY




I RODE A WHALE UNDER A RAINBOW IN HAWAII ONCE

IT WAS EH




OH THAT'S COOL I GUESS




RIP PRESIDENT OPRAH WINFREY

THE NEWS CYCLE CANNOT CATER TO YOUR FICKLE WHIMS, OPRAH WINFREY

(BUT LET US KNOW IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND)




THIS IS THE MOST NEWS ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WON'T HAPPEN IN FOUR YEARS THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN



ALL CELEBRITY DEATHS SHOULD BE FILTERED THROUGH THE CONTEXT OF CHER

BECAUSE BRIT AND JLO DIED I GUESS

I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO READ THIS

AND I'M DEFINITELY NOT CLICKING

...

...

OK FINE I'LL CLICK

(TURNS OUT EVERYONE IS ALIVE AND WELL AND THIS IS A FLUFF PIECE ABOUT CHER BEING MAD OLD)

(I REGRET CLICKING)




THE SURPRISE IS THAT THIS OLD MAN IS GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE IN VIRGINIA AND TELL YOU ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE EATING OATMEAL EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH

AND ALSO USE YOUR BATHROOM

CONGRATULATIONS VIRGINIA HOMEOWNERS

2 comments:

troy said...

I feel like that last one is sort of unfair. I wasn't tempted to click on any of the others, but if you ARE a homeowner in Virginia, how do you resist that one? What if it's a sinkhole or something?

Also, I didn't give the Cher one any thought until you pointed out how misleading one, and now I'm still not giving it any thought. Thanks, Mike. I learned a little something today. Maybe ... maybe we all did.

mkenny59 said...

That's what I'm here for, troy. That's what I'm here for.