Thursday, October 03, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: 106646109316766951201????????

Good question. Good freaking question. I'd like to find out myself. Let me just check to see who this important email is from so I know I am dealing with something legit and not something dumb and stupid and dumb ...

From: 106646109316766951201 [8@234wefewf.mygbiz.com]

Hold up, lemme just add you to my contacts, 106646109316766951201.

First name: 106646109316766951201
Last name: 234wefewf, probs
Company: mygbiz.com
Category: Business contact Associate Friend Best friend

Dear Sir or Madam,

Call me sir, 106646109316766951201, on account of my penis.

We specialize in electronic devices field with full experience and we have 100 % confidence in our technology and quality.

Yo on the reals? That is dope and you have inspired me to have confidence in your products as well. I want to order all of your devices - the whole field - but tell me, what is your hot seller?

Now our hot seller is pedometer.

Pedometer is sweeping the nation in popularity. I just saw a "20/20" feature on pedometer called "Pedometer: Sweeping the nation in popularity" and their conclusion was: yes, it IS sweeping the nation in popularity. There is literally no other thing a person can use to track how far they have run or walked or elliptical'd. There is no phone or phone app or iPhone app or any app or any other app thing that can do this easily by installing the app for free, which is why pedometer is so important and expensive. As someone who runs, one thing I am always looking for is another device I can attach to my person while I am running because that is a nice thing that is pleasant and comfortable and necessary. Is pedometer a big guy?

Pedometer is a little guy with the blueooth function can fit for ipone and ipad.

Cool, what is an ipone and also blueooth? Ha, ha j/k I know you just can't spell, which is why I have so much confidence in your products. Who has time to type all the letters that make up words when you're busy advancing technology? Pfft.

Once connected with the phone by bluetooth,it can help you record the amount of exercise, calorie consumpion and master the time when you are exercising.Let you have a regular exercise and healthy body.

Pedometer testimonial, Trish from Madison, WI: Pedometer is great! I never had regular exercise before pedometer because nothing would tell me how far I didn't jog, so I just wouldn't exercise at all because I am a stupid idiot jerk. But now I just connect pedometer to the Bluetooth on my iPhone, and then bring all that crap with me when I run because that is the easiest way to do things. No more fumbling around with clumsy, built-in apps that do everything for free. Thanks, pedometer! And my husband thanks you, too! (Because of the sex I give him now. Because of my healthy pedometer bod.)

Besides,it also supports off-line record function and reread the historical data records.

Maybe you weren't sold on pedometer? Well guess what, a$$hole - pedometer supports off-line record function and you can reread historical data or whatever, so BUY IT.

"Gather 'round, grandchildren. (pulls out pedometer) Did I ever tell you kids about the time I ran six miles in under an hour and burned 986 calories? It was May 25th, 2013, and I wasn't even in a wifi zone. If I remember it was a beautiful day, and I started out by going south on ... (lowers glasses to operate pedometer) ... darn it ... Mike! How the hell do you access past workouts on this thing?" - my dad, who bought a pedometer after getting this email

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