Thursday, August 08, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: Stone mosaic and Glass mosaic and Metal mosaic????????

Me: What are: types of mosaics I love and want to learn more about.

Alex Trebek: Correct.

Me: I'll take STUPID USELESS CRAP for $800, Alex.

邀请您观看 Stone mosaic and Glass mosaic and Metal mosaic 的相册: masaike

I have to admit, there was not ONE time during the reading of this email that I ever forgot I was reading about Stone mosaic and Glass mosaic and Metal mosaic. Kudos to keeping my focus because I am easily distracted. Also, the word "masaike," which is Japanese for "mosaic???????" is hyperlinked and leads to a Picasa web album. According to Picasa:

This content has been removed because it violates our Terms of Service.

I bet Glass mosaic was showing its nipple. Glass mosaic is a sluuuut. Sorry, someone had to say it.

Still though, now I don't have any visuals on which to be base my important decision re: Stone mosaic and Glass mosaic and Metal mosaic.




OH SNIZZ-AP. Blown away. BA-LOWN. AWAY. I have literally never seen such an amazing mosaic before in my entire life, and one of my major hobbies is mosaic perusal. I am going to order this exact mosaic because it will go PERFECT in my {wherever mosaics go}!

来自 Stone mosaic and Glass mosaic and Metal mosaic 的消息:
2597832884891957778245133678614296606799583380271725058607180103690027612893539887867817608871732971My dear friend,

So uh, hey, just curious: what's with all of the random numbers preceding your greeting? I don't want to be rude, but I'm only asking because we are dear friends. Was that a typo? If so that is a great typo, the greatest typo. Oops, accidentally inserted like 60 random numbers in there ... maybe they won't notice? Arg, that's what I get for sending emails from my iPhone being a nonhuman spambot!

How’s your business recently? 

Business is great! Good. Pretty good. Bad. Very bad. Seriously lacking in mosaics, if I'm being honest. Sorry I lied before about it being good. I wanted to impress you.

With more than 10 years production and export experience, we have successfully developed thousands of mosaic designs to meet the need of different market! And we can also make it according to your own designs or requirements!

This is cool because I feel like I represent "different market" in that I am not in the market for any type of mosaic and also don't really know what mosaics are/do but nevertheless want to order a lot of them. As far as my design requirements are concerned, I want my mosaic to be Glass - NO, Metal - and I want it to be very swirly and shiny and have a design that faintly resembles the profile of Don King, but only if you look really hard and/or are high on marijuana. I am going to hang it on my wall, or eat off it, or make it a luxurious toilet seat cover, haven't decided yet. #mosaicdecisions

Thanks &; best regards
Sabrina Law
General manager
Mosaic Factory
Add.: Foshan Guangdong China
wnBLuuXXyHUwPvTlxlicurOyJPLWnoKLVsZDSzFYhWCxxwBmfmQrdtwzrQtYID

sMDuHSBArdEbnBjAmqQECwOLiEcieqtIdfoytWmFZsncIRRQVGzGkxwMQTLkzrbJMgJNbmGUHuV
rqSzRDHhHSMfcyUtlhtKYuYhFAdfMgltjOXYWbyFMrEDTXaRqFyiQSnPUieNbAAbkxZsYwOn
OZTlUrbmsozQfnoyVQuvciCKzfabZePWdtUTkZcUtWECkYtjaoyhhU
UvEQsMrPhthfZroLvFLHTklGIRpWzPwCVdTyu

Sabrina Law: My name is Sabrina Law and I am general manager of Mosaic Factory.

Human person: Really? That doesn't sound real, what you just said.

Sabrina Law: Oh, you have to add: Foshan Guangdong China.

Human person: I feel like that makes less sense. Also there is smoke coming out of your armpit.

Sabrina Law: wnBLuuXXyHUwPvTlxlicurOyJPLWnoKLVsZDSzFYhWCxxwBmfmQrdtwzrQtYID
sMDuHSBArdEbnBjAmqQECwOLiEcieqtIdfoytWmFZsncIRRQVGzGkxwMQTLkzrbJMgJNbmGUHuV
rqSzRDHhHSMfcyUtlhtKYuYhFAdfMgltjOXYWbyFMrEDTXaRqFyiQSnPUieNbAAbkxZsYwOn
OZTlUrbmsozQfnoyVQuvciCKzfabZePWdtUTkZcUtWECkYtjaoyhhU
UvEQsMrPhthfZroLvFLHTklGIRpWzPwCVdTyu

Human person: Wow. Can I buy you a drink?

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