Thursday, August 01, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: I: opportunity

Cool, like "I, Robot." This email stars Will Smith as an alien-fighting detective looking for an opportunity, and the opportunity is played by his son, Jaden. "It's the email of the summer!" says I Heart Emails magazine.

Hello, you ride a material concerning a new social network that will start from June.

(dismounts material) I'm sorry, what did you say? I couldn't hear you - I was riding this material.

Up to 27 this month there is the ability to subscribe and you formed a net under you, through which you can make some good gains, because whenever a person comes to open anything on you RPLLN you will be awarded a percentage of the company's earnings.

So wait, hold up - you're telling me this whole time I could have been getting percentages when people open anything on my RPLLN? Mad peeps have been opening my RPLLN for years! I am losing money! How can I fix this re: my RPLLN?

All this is done through an invitation that I owe you sent me.

How will this invitation that you owe I sent you be sent? With Evite? I just checked my Evite and the only thing there is an invitation to my Godson's birthday party, which I cannot attend because I'm waiting to hear more about my RPLLN opportunities. Please resend. You OWE me.

Here's a question though: what if you send me the invitation but I disagree? With the invitation?

If you disagree let me know and starts, since it does not cost you anything.

Okay. I understand what you're saying there. Please say more things that are easily digestible for my mind.

Well at least you'll have 5 friends, acquaintances, relatives, colleagues who need money without doing anything.

I WISH I had only five friends who need money without doing anything. ALL of my friends are lazy jerks looking to ride the financial coattails of my RPLLN earnings. They are such jerks, I don't even know why I'm friends with them. They make me laugh, I guess. With farts. They fart a lot and the farts smell really bad. #friends

WHAT IS RIPPLN?

I'm glad you asked because I do not know. Is it different than the RPLLN mentioned earlier?

Rippln is a platform based on the APP (smartphone applications) that aims to revolutionize the world of web and social networking in particular.

This sounds almost too good to be true! Sort of like that show, "Rippln's Believe It Or Not." Serious question: are there phases?

In the first phase, everything revolves around the creation of the network.

Phase 1: Create network.
Phase 2: Stuff happens.
Phase 3: Get $$$$$$$$$$$$

(You joined Facebook?

Yep.

a?

Who's NOT on a, amiright? Even my mom joined a two weeks ago, and she's all like, "How do I post an Intagram hashtag to this thing, so confused!" Ha, ha, lolz. #moms

a Twitter Linkedin?

Of course I'm on a Twitter Linkedin! It's the only social networking site available where you can confirm your friends have jobs and also see pictures of DMX riding a horse:





Use Whatsapp?

I don't use Whatsapp, but everybody is talking about it! Hold on ... (installs Whatsapp) ... dude, this is amazing, how did I ever live without this? #whatsapp

Then, I suggest you subscribe immediately at Rippln. The why and the how, you will soon.)

I want the why and how now.

You will earn commissions when any member of the global network that is dawning will purchase one of the many APP offered by the system or simply displays the advertisements contained therein. (You know how much is the Apple business Store, the largest application store online?)

Surely even the Apple business store had to start somewhere. Probably by sending out well-written emails to potential investors not dissimilar to this: You know how much is the computer thing, the largest business thing?

registration is free, but we need an invitation code Request the code by first name, last name and email address, at

(my wife's cousin's email address, which was hacked)

Thank you to all my friends who read this amazing post. You are all lazy jerks but I love you. I will give you the RPLLN money when I see you, lazy jerks. (re-mounts material, rides off into sunset)

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