Spam email of the week SPECIAL FRIDAY EDITION

Subject: Gold Ministry

"Go forth and tell the world the good news about ... GOOOOOOOLD." - St. Peter maybe?

Dear Friend,

I am not your friend. J/k we are friends.

I am thedirector from the gold ministry

Wow, this email is really coming from the top. If this email were sent from like, an advertising executive at the gold ministry, I'd probably be like, "Pfft, whatevs." But the director? This is big.

I have a golden opportunity to
share with you

GOLD DIRECTOR HAS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
GOLD DIRECTOR HAS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
GOLD DIRECTOR HAS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
GOLD DIRECTOR HAS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
GOLD DIRECTOR HAS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
GOLD DIRECTOR HAS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY

amember registered from the gold ministry from
Australia has a lot ofinheritance here in Benin cotonou west Africa,

Oh wow, what a coincidence! A member of the gold ministry (not a real thing) from Australia (irrelevant) has a lot of inheritance (cool phrase) in Benin Cotonou West Africa (Australians are quite famous for bequeathing their inheritances to various areas of West Africa), and here I am (Mike Kenny, publications manager in America) looking to make a lot of money without doing jack. I feel like this might be right up my proverbial alley (butt). Go on ...

died in bomb blaster with thefamily

DAAAAAAAANG! Dude got hit by the bomb blaster?! And he was his fam, son? BOOM, there goes the inheritance, LOL. Please ignore that LOL, that was insensitive considering the circumstances. So anyway, I guess this nameless Australian dude dying in a bomb blaster in West Africa = my golden opportunity? I always knew it would happen this way. #blessed

I want you to call me on this
number +22965130082 for more details.

Mr. peter willams

Me: (dials +22965130082)

Mr. Peter Williams: Hello, this is Mr. Peter Williams, how may I help you?

Me: Hi, Mr. Peter Williams. This is Mike, from email. I was calling to get more details about the bomb blaster that killed the Australian guy and his family and how I can benefit from this tragedy by somehow usurping his inheritance ...

Mr. Peter Williams: Yes, wonderful, thanks for calling. The details are that please give me your credit card number and I will send you all the gold.

Me: Cool, I will do that. Also, who detonated the bomb blaster? Was it Goldfinger? It was Goldfinger, wasn't it?

Mr. Peter Williams: I am not at liberty to say ...

Me: ...

Mr. Peter Williams: ...

Me: ...

Mr. Peter Williams: ...

Me: ...

Mr. Peter Williams: It was Goldfinger.

Hat tip to Chunter for the spamage.