Spam email of the week

Subject: A New Business Opportunity

I've been looking for one of those! Whenever I get an email about a new business opportunity, I know it is legit because: who would want to bust my balls like that? Granted, none of the prior emailed business opportunities I have relentlessly pursued have worked out and now I am broke and living in an abandoned warehouse and also my identity was stolen. But still, THIS one? This one is it. I can feel it. I hope it is about duct cleaning.

Revolutionary Duct Cleaning!


Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. "The Revolution (Of Duct Cleaning) Will Not Be Televised," is a song I am going to record in response to this email and also to get the word out. About to call Rick Rubin in a hot minute to produce that joint. But first I need to understand the revolution, which is an appropriate word to use re: duct cleaning methods (shout out to all revolutionary war vets around the globe, mad respect).

What's the site again?


Awesome. I am not going to click on it because it looks terrible and contains the word "click," which is weird, but I am sure it is safe and legit and explains everything. Let's proceed just pretending I have clicked on this and understand what is happening.

Duct Cleaning is now easy!

This email, an overview:

Thesis: Duct cleaning used to be hard but now it is easy.

Body: Click on this terrible link.

Conclusion: $$$$$$$$

Get in the Duct Cleaning Business Today:

Playa I done got in the duct cleaning business YESTERDAY HOLLA ATCHA BOY.

Click here http//


and learn about how RamAir continues to excel globally as the world’s most efficient duct cleaning solution. We are looking for distributers in every market.

Dear RamAir,

I would like to join your duct cleaning business by becoming a distributor of your duct cleaning crap. Also your name is cool and I bet you guys are good at ramming air down duct pipes or whatever things are called. I would like to #ramit, too.



P.s.: Can I get that link again?



Seeing is believing!

As a born skeptic, I rarely believe anything about advancements in duct cleaning methods until I see them for myself. I should really stop being such a doubting Thomas!

Easy To Up-Sell

Did you like our duct cleaning? NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. Then you'll probably love our line of edible panties.

Watch our short 4-minute introductory video

Sure! Where?


I am not familiar with that link.

Learn more by calling and speaking with one of our RamAir experts. 1.888.272.6247

I called. I chose "3" for "executive management," thinking maybe I go up the ladder and speak with a SENIOR RamAir expert. I waited on hold. "Sorry, no one is available right now, please leave a message at the tone." Didn't leave a message. I'll call back later (I won't). The ironic thing is that I majored in RamAir expertise in college, but didn't know what to do with it, so I became a blogger. Now here I am trying to call a RamAir expert. Life is crazy, full circle. #noregrets #YOLO