Nextdoor message of the week

Well that was certainly an unexpected “heads up.” Granted, this is, I guess (?), a more reasonable Nextdoor message than one searching for a sandwich, but you have to wonder—what’s Dennis’s agenda? Does he own a roofing company? A raccoon removal service? Or is he just naturally passionate about raccoons and/or being a good neighbor? Might the "Be vigilant" be as earnest as it is comical? Unlikely, but maybe I’m jaded. 

The thing is, I mean, yeah, this is def a heads up. A doozy of one. Preesh. But WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF I FIND A FEMALE RACCOON GIVING BIRTH IN MY WARM PLACE? This call for vigilance is profoundly lacking in strategy.

It’s also like—listen, fam. I’m a homeowner. With kids. I got a lot going on, and I need to be very selective about what I’m vigilant about. Like hell I’m doing a daily perimeter/roof check for pregnant raccoons. If you’re going to use Nextdoor for a raccoon-related “heads up,” it better be because an enormous raccoon walking upright is roaming the neighborhood and foaming at the mouth. Which I obviously hope never happens, but you get my point. 

My other point is that whenever I receive a message that begins "Just a 'heads up,'" and concludes with "warm place to give birth," I'm going to post it. In this way, I am vigilant.