Wednesday, May 24, 2017

MSN quick links of the week

WHAT IS THE GOOD AND RELEVANT NEWS OF THE DAY




THERE IS ONLY ONE THING I THINK ABOUT MORE THAN WHAT THE WOMAN FROM THRILLER LOOKS LIKE NOW

AND THAT'S SWIMMING WITH PIGS IN THE BAHAMAS




(READS LIST, REFERENCES PERSONAL NOTEBOOK)

QUESTION NO. 19: CAN YOU RIDE THE PIGS -NO

QUESTION NO. 20: CAN THE PIGS RIDE YOU -NO

QUESTION NO. 38: ARE THE PIGS NATIVE

QUESTION NO. 46: WHY

SO NOT *EVERYTHING* I GUESS SMH




IF THEY CAME TO THIS COUNTRY LEGALLY, SURE




AS IF YOU NEEDED MORE INFO, THIS ONE HAS A LEDE




SURE EATING SUSHI IS FUN, BUT SO IS RUBBING SUSHI ON YOUR HEAD, WHICH IS A THING PEOPLE DO? HA HA I DON'T MEAN RUBBING ACTUAL SUSHI ON YOUR HEAD, BUT ONE OF THE CONDIMENTS ASSOCIATED WITH SUSHI. HOLD ON, LET ME START OVER, NOT BY DELETING THAT INTRO, BUT BY CONTINUING TO WRITE. FIRST OF ALL, EVERYONE WANTS TO SMUSH SUSHI ON THEIR HEAD. LET'S START WITH THAT. HEAD SUSHI. #HEADSUSHI. BUT WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT. EVER HEAR OF WASABI? USUALLY WASABI IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE SUSHI THAT YOU'RE DYING TO SMASH ON YOUR HEAD. ANYWAY, LET'S ASSUME THAT WASABI IS REAL. ACCORDING TO SCIENCE




(TYPES IN "WOMAN FROM THRILLER")

(WAITS 10 SECONDS)

(BRACES SELF)

*YOUR SEARCH HAS YIELDED 0 RESULTS*

WHAT THE HELL




HARD PASS

WHAT IS BTS



"MARRIAGE CAN BE RUFF, BUT IF YOU'RE DOG-GONE SURE YOU'RE IN PUPPY LOVE ... I'M SORRY, I CAN'T DO THIS, I HAVE A DEGREE IN FINANCE" (STRIPS OFF MICROPHONE, WALKS OUT) - DOG MINISTER




YOU CAN STOP RIGHT THERE, I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW

NEW ZEALAND NAVY: HELLO, FIRM?

FIRM: YES

NEW ZEALAND NAVY: THIS IS THE NEW ZEALAND NAVY. WE'D LIKE TO PAY YOU $700,000 TO DO STUFF

FIRM: OK

NEW ZEALAND NAVY: YOU'RE NOT MIRED IN ANY FAT LEONARD SEX, ARE YOU

FIRM: UH ... NO

4 comments:

troy said...

It would be hard to grade your columns on the writing, because you got like a 4.0, son, an A every time. But this is not just the best collection of links you've collected yet. This is the best collection of links. Period. 'Period' was redundant there, but it was obligatory emphatic license. I'm saying even I might have been tempted to click on several of those links. Or at least to google Celine Dion's son to see wtf that's important. Job extremely well done, sir.

troy said...

I SAID JOB EXTREMELY WELL DONE, SIR! http://www.funny-emoticons.com/files/smileys-emoticons/funny-smiley-faces/631-arms-crossed.png

KO Rob said...

Fat Leonard sex sounds dirty. REAL dirty. And if it somehow combines Fat Albert and Leonard Part 6, it may have to be outlawed.

mkenny59 said...

Thank you both, very much. I have to admit, this particular collection of links pleased me to no end. So much so that I didn't even Google "fat leonard sex" because there's no way the realty of what that actually is can surpass what I imagine it to be.