Tuesday, November 03, 2015

Spam email of the week

Subject:

I am intrigued.


Ever notice how all Thai restaurants have “Thai” in their name? It’s like, we get it—you’re from Asia or whatever. Another thing is why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? What’s the deal with lawyers, amirite? Olive Garden isn’t even good.

How is the situation of things over there regards to the economic standard?

(checks situation of things over here regards to economic standard) Pretty good, I guess.

(checks situation of things over here regards to economic standard again just to be sure) Actually, pretty bad. It’s bad.

I have a proposal,

Oh thank goodness. I hope it involves opening a restaurant called Lucky Thai. You can cook and I will manage the economic standard. First we’ll need plates and I know just the g-

lets talk more on my private email :

Is it not OK to talk more on this email? Are people listening? Dammit, I just gave away the Lucky Thai concept.

johnstanv@aol.cominm

That seems like a legit private email. Some of my best friends have last names that end abruptly in “v.” When I attend my 20-year high school reunion and some dorkwad asks, “So, how is your situation regards to economic standard?” I’ll be like, “Weeeeellllll, I didn’t want to brag but I started a Thai restaurant with John Stanv from AOL dot Communism and it’s doing great, ya’ stupid lawyer jerk. I mean, this is a $200 suit so YOU TELL ME.”

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