Thursday, May 22, 2014

Spam email of the week

Subject: Web Designing and Development services

Like the many, many, many junk emails I receive of this nature, it's safe to assume this non-person who is touting web design services will do so in a manner that leaves me lacking in confidence for his ability to grasp the Web in general or the English language specifically. Here goes.

Greeting of the day!

What IS today's greeting, actually? (checks Greeting of the day-themed calendar) ... (May 22, 2014 reads "Hoping for sunshine in your specific part of the universe, {person's name}!" and features picture of Snoopy floating on a raft and Woodstock floating in a much, much smaller raft) YOU TOO!

Let me introduce myself,

My name is Hov!
H-to-the-O-V
I used to move snowflakes by the O-Z

Yes?

I am Ben

Oh.

working as Business Development   Manager @ Niroma   IT   would like to discuss a Business opportunity with you.

Has your business not yet developed punctuation? It is the latest trend in the field of English but youre right it's probs just a        fad

We can execute the Web Design & Development, Mobile Apps Development project & SEO Services for you.

Sounds great. Anything else?

We have a there tire quality check   system so no compromise on quality!

You can check my tires?

We have a there tire quality check

Do you mean my tires have to be physically there, like I can't just tell you about what is wrong with them? Or is that a typo and you mean "three" tires. It's probably a typo, right?

We have a there tire quality check

I have four tires though. ?

We have a there tire quality check

OK listen I don't need the tire check, I guess. It's fine. I will take my tires elsewhere.

Our expertise to make customization in all CMS & Core technology development .we provide full  responsive website for all devices  Desktop iPhone ,tab & Mobile.

Our primary   focus is in:-


Ben, your punctuation and grammar are so terrible, I cannot tell you if you are actually trying to communicate correctly or are using emoticons. Here is how I feel reading this:

:-

Also

:o

Sometimes like

;)

Website Design    Web Development   Mobile Site Development  Database Programming E-commerce Solutions

  
Tires
   
Android Apps  Development CMS Website   Portal Development

"I need someone to develop my portal" LOL that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Ben, you're the best. Seriously though, please stop.
   
IPhone Apps Development SEO Blog Submission Mobile Apps

Ben, please.

Development Support & Testing Link Building Apps Gul Design

STOP IT BEN, DANG.

Do let   me know if you are interested and would be happy   to shares our methodologies   ,

Ben, how does one begin to describe a methodology as complex and beautiful as the one you have established with the not even real "company" you fake work for? It would be like a blind man trying to describe a sunset to a set of three tires.

 past working details and prices etc.

Kind Regards

Ben


Start with greeting (singular) > lots of nonsense > end with regards. This is spam email 101 right here, Ben. I would tip my cap were it not lost in my portal (butt).

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