Thursday, April 03, 2014

Spam email of the week




Subject: 123436 To the China Market Developer



I’m sorry—is this a children’s song?



1-2-3

4-3-6

To the China Market Developer!



Clap along, everyone!



1-2-3



Kid: This song doesn’t even rhyme. And the numbers are wrong.



Other kid: Yeah, this song blows.



YOU KIDS HAVE NO RESPECT.



2014 iFresh Fruit and Vegetable Expo

Shanghi International Exhibition Center,China

12th-14th June 2014



What is “iFresh Fruit”? Is that a—wait for it—Apple product? LOLZ.



HOLD UP, IMMA JUST DOWNLOAD THIS CANTALOUPE TO MY TUMMY RIGHT QUICK



iFresh Fru and Veg Expo



Fru and Veg!!!!



FRU and VEG



(slow voice) FRU AND VEG



We have officially crossed the threshold of acceptable abbreviations. Congratulations, everybody!



had booked out 143 exhibitors with 183 boothes( 117 boothes left)



Looks like the iFresh Fru and Veg Expo overbooked. Classic Fru and Veg mistake. You can’t make digital fruit plans before you have commitments! It’s putting the digital fruit cart before the iHorse, as the saying goes. And everyone knows the digital fruit community is a fickle bunch. They tell you they’re gonna be there when they’re drunk off iFresh smoothies, and then they’re nowhere to be found when it comes time to book their “boothe.”



New booking Fruit and Vegetable suppliers companies including:

CHINA: YANTAI FULL RED SEEDLING BREEDING FARM



Ain’t no Fru and Veg party like a YANTAI FULL RED SEEDLING BREEDING FARM Fru and Veg party cause a YANTAI FULL RED SEEDLING BREEDING FARM Fru and Veg party uses only the freshest vegetables, and also don't stop.



Tailand: Tailand Embassy Group

Chile: Foodinvest Chile SA, Chilean Cherry Committee..



I have just recently decided that the Chilean Cherry Committee is my favorite Fru and Veg supplier in the world. I am totes going to visit their booth. (For the cherries.)



American: FreshWorld Inc,



Really, America? FreshWorld Inc. is our only representative at the iFresh Fru and Veg Expo? This is embarrassing. There was a time when this country prided itself on its iFresh fruits and vegetables. Now look at us—one measly booth at the most famous expo in the world. Thanks a lot, OBAMA.



Anyhoo, the rest of this email is just an unintelligible, unending list of fake, worldwide Fru and Veg suppliers, and I’m not even sure what this email is asking me to do. That said, yeah, I booked a booth. I felt bad. But before I head to China, EVERYBODY SING ALONG:



1-2-3

4-3-6

To the China Market Developer!

7-8-9

10-28-12

Cherries in the Chilean tree!

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