Spam email of the week

Subject: Fwd:

This is a forward about nothing.

From: News

This is an email FROM news about  news and/or nothing. It's like I'm looking in a mirror of me looking in a mirror only it's a dream but the dream is Conception but actually it was Momento only to find out that Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.

News []

Real estate news is my favorite kind of news because it's very relevant to my life. What are the latest real estate trends? Is it a buyer's market or a farmer's market? Are interest rates something? Can I trust an agent who DOESN'T drive an absurd vehicle covered in real estate jargon? Does that house come with a dishwasher? When I have questions such as these, I don't actively research the answers myself, but instead wait to get an email from a pro in the field. Anyway, what is the news?

Freak space rock spins dusty trail







The Hubble telescope has spotted an asteroid radiating six comet-like tails, making it resemble a "rotating lawn sprinkler".

That's a ... that's the end of the email. That's the news. I just ... is this good news, like I should grab a telescope and try to see the rotating lawn sprinkler asteroid? Or is this bad news, like I should retreat to my underground bunker and await the asteroid apocalypse? Or is this real estate news, like now would be a good time to sell because the rotating lawn sprinkler asteroid radiating six comet-like tails is headed for your 'hood, homeboy?

In retrospect it would have been helpful if this particular email had a subject header. Nevertheless ... (peels off in stolen ReMax car to escape impending doom)