Spam email of the week

Subject: Interested in you.

/blushing./

I'm Miss  Anna  Tsunmc, i slim in stature above all i like being honesty,trusted, sincere.

Whoa, whoa, hold up, Miss Anna Tslssmncc. Hold up. All of those things you said? Is everything I am, too! I also like being honesty and am slim in stature. Hashtag destiny.

I have gone through your contact mail today,

You WHAT? I thought you like being trusted? J/k that is cool, whatevs.

it interest me to know you more, and I hope to use this opportunity to explain myself a little about me,

Your words … like poetry. Please, go on.

am yellow in completion,

wtf. You are Marge Simpson? I maybe would have started with a different physical characteristic and then gently delved into the fact that you are yellow, i.e. “I have super big boobs and long hair and a nice butt and I like to make sex a lot also I have yellow skin no big deal.”

I guess it’s possible “completion” is not a typo but that you completed your outfit today by tossing on a yellow sweater? No? No. You are actually yellow. Okay. I will try and look past this.

Somethings I like to do in my spare time are gardening, home improvement projects, camping, bicycling in the park, backyard bar-b-ques, moon-lite walks on the beach, preparing candle-lite dinners for someone special, sending flowers to someone special for some reasons,

Here are some reasons to send flowers to someone special:

• Happy birthday maybe?
• Looking forward to our moon-lite walk on the beach later
• Sorry I am yellow
• I will plant these later in the garden after I build the deck
• I went through your contact mail, who is "wifey?" Why don't you give these to HER you bastard
• Don’t forget to pick up meat products for our backyard bar-b-que I love you 

sitting and watching the sun set with someone special, and cuddling in front of a fire with someone special.

You have an excellent grasp on romance for someone who was dropped on Earth yesterday.

I enjoy cooking, gardening, playing billiards, darts, dinning out, going to the cinema, traveling and site-seeing, museums, and concerts.

This may be the love-induced adrenaline talking, but what say we go plant some petunias, take in one of those talking movie shows at the local cinema, and then hustle some fools in darts?

I like almost any kind of music, but I think my favorite is instrumental jazz.

Oh snap, DEAL BREAKER. Sorry. What kind of monster are you?