Thursday, May 23, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: (AD)    4-point IR touch panels for  Bank equipment ,excellent

I don't even know where to begin with the cray cray that is this subject header. As usual, I am most disturbed by the random spacing. Here is the editor of this subject header:

Editor: No, no, no, this is all wrong! Crumbles up paper printout of subject header, throws in nearby garbage can, misses. First you have to acknowledge this is an AD so we don't get sued. But put it in parentheses so maybe they don't notice. People are idiots. Then you gotta hit the space bar like ... a bunch of times. Go with your gut on that one. Like four or five times maybe. Go with five. Then talk about the 4-point IR touch panels - remember, when a number begins a sentence, you ALWAYS use the numeric digit - and then capitalize the "B" in "bank equipment" after a random space. Then random space, comma, no space, adjective. Honestly, where did you even go to school?

Anyway, because I work at a BANK and use BANK EQUIPMENT all the time, I was always wondering: what is bank equipment? Like a computer? A calculator? A safe? Those thingees they put my check in that go zzz zzzz zzzzzzz and then something happens? Also, can I get 4-point IR touch panels for all that stuff? And if so, what do 4-point IR touch panels even look like? Is there some kind of awesome graphic that will inevitably lure me into believing I can no longer live without 4-point IR touch panels?

YOU GUYS



I FEEL LIKE I AM WATCHING AVATAR IN AN IMAX THEATER ON ACID

We are qualified manufacturer of interactive touch panels in China.

*STARING*

Our products include 15"-32" single/dual SAW touch screens, 15"-250" 1/2/4/6/10/16/32 point IR touch screens, 2.4" to 42" resistive touch screens.

*STARING*

If you are interested, please feel free to tell me.

I AM INTERESTED IN YOUR TOUCH PANELS DUH. THERE I TOLD YOU.

Look forward to your early news.

THIS JUST IN: MAN FALLS IN LOVE WITH INTERACTIVE 4-POINT IR TOUCH PANELS, ORDERS 100 OF THEM. MORE, PLUS THE WEATHER, AT 11.

No comments: