Thursday, February 07, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: ?????? ??????? ... Great INVENTION Exposed... Please Check... ... ?? ??????????...

I just ... I don't understand how the rampant and random use of punctuation is supposed to draw in email users. I feel like over the years the spam bots have gotten a little better -- a bit more refined even -- and so to see something like this ... I don't know. It just kind of sets everything back to 2000. This is like the white trash of spam email.

Вашият приятел, ... Great INVENTION Exposed... Please Check... ..., Ви препоръчва да разгледате Бележникът на Микеланджело в магазина ..::Megashop.BG::...

That is the introduction. There's a chance this is hilarious and/or important if you happen to speak Arabglish.

Dear Electricity User,

HOW DID THEY KNOW? This is my most favorite salutation that has ever happened.

From 1856-1943, he was an inventor, mechanical
engineer, and electrical engineer.

Oh cool I'm about to get a history lesson from this email that began "Вашият приятел, ... Great INVENTION Exposed... Please Check... ..., Ви препоръчва да разгледате Бележникът на Микеланджело в магазина ..::Megashop.BG::..." Little do they know I MAJORED in history, so I already know the answer. Just, like ... give me one more hint.

He was an
important contributor to the birth of modern
electricity, and is best known for his many
revolutionary developments in the field of
electromagnetism in the late 19th and early
20th centuries.

Pfft, that's easy. That lady and her husband who invented the Periodic Table, what are their names? ... Winston Churchill.

Nikola Tesla has built a lot of inventions in the
field of electricity.

Whatevs I was close. Also, let's read that sentence again.

Nikola Tesla has built a lot of inventions in the
field of electricity.

I sincerely hope this is the very first line of Nikola Tesla's official biography. Nikola Tesla has built a lot of inventions in the field of electricity. Where do we even begin to start? How about with just one of the lots of inventions he made by building them -- himself, when he was born.

And one of his inventions
was to make electricity be utilized by the consumers
at no cost. However, this invention was unsupported,
suppressed and was not distributed to the public
because of commercialism. Businessman cannot profit
from it thats why it is being untold.

I'm not sure thinking electricity should be free is an actual invention. And if it's just one businessman who cannot profit, why doesn't somebody just persuade him with torture?

Some of the original Tesla blueprints were leaked
from government files... ending up in the hands
of a crack team of "underground" scientists.

The Tesla blueprints are a sheet of construction paper that features a drawing in crayon of a man plugging a lightening bolt into a socket with the word "Free!" next to it and the exclamation point is also a lightening bolt. When the "crack team of 'underground' scientists" (!!!!!!!!!!) got their sciency hands on it, they knew that invention must be invented ... and fast!

Today, researchers, scientist, free-energy enthusiasts
and Green Earth advocates have joined forces to make
use of Tesla's legacy and to fulfill Teslas dream of
Free Electricity for everyone.

FREE-ENERGY ENTHUSIASTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I consider myself a Green Earth Advocate and never received notification that we were all joining forces. Where did this meeting take place? IHOP? I am going to be so pissed if it was at IHOP and nobody told me. Also, if you imagine that this paragraph refers to the rock band Tesla and not the inventor, it's easy to understand why I think it's the greatest paragraph that exists in the world today.

Now, The Most Powerful and most efficient way to
generate natural, clean electricity are now

Its your chance to grab it now.

It feels like I'm on the ground floor of being able to use free electricity! I am going to stop paying my utility bill immediately, which is what I imagine to be the obvious first step here. Is there anything else I can do?

Click HERE For more info:

Awesome, that link seems legit and I will totally click on it later when I find a public computer that can more easily absorb the risk of potential internal combustion. To whom do I owe my never-ending gratitude of never having to pay for electricity again?

Thank you and more power,
Ben Miller
Electrical Engr, Energy Specialist
and creator of Nikola Tesla Secret

Ah, Ben Miller. Such a simple name for a man so prolific in history, grammar, language, and free-energy enthusiasm. I like how the same guy who gave us the subject header "Subject: ?????? ??????? ... Great INVENTION Exposed... Please Check... ... ?? ??????????..." cannot be bothered to spell out "engineer" in his signature. 

Thank you and more power, everyone!

1 comment:

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