Thursday, March 14, 2013

Spam email of the week

Subject: [WARNING: VIRUS REMOVED] THE WESTERN UNION TRANSFER

OMG YOU GUYS THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE THANKFULLY SOMEONE MAYBE IT WAS MACGYVER REMOVED A VIRUS FROM THIS EMAIL ABOUT THE WESTERN UNION TRANSFER I DIDN'T MAKE

I VE JUST COME FROM WESTERN UNION

AND BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED THAT WAS A JOKE

AND HERE IS A SCANNED PHOTO FROM THE TRANSFER MTCN

THAT IS NOT A WORD OR ANYTHING RESEMBLING A THING I UNDERSTAND. THE ATTACHMENT ON THIS EMAIL READS "Removed Attachment.txt (362 B)" AND THERE IS NO ATTACHMENT BUT MAYBE THAT IS GOOD BECAUSE 362 BIGABYTES? IS TOO BIG FOR MY COMPUTER

MTCN : 6255579485

THIS INFORMATION IS HELPFUL HOLD ON LET ME PRINT OUT THIS EMAIL AND HIGHLIGHT THIS FAKE TRANSACTION NUMBER IN CASE I NEED IT FOR MY MONEY

HELLO SIR I'M HERE TO PICK UP THE MONEY TRANSFERRED TO ME FROM THAT EMAIL ABOUT THE THING

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm going to need you to be more specific, and also please stop yelling."

I HAVE A MTCN THINGEE SEE RIGHT HERE LOOK AT THE NUMBERS TOTALLY OFFICIAL I'D LIKE THE MONEY IN AN ENVELOPE AND A LOLLIPOP FOR ME I MEAN MY DAUGHTER

"Sir, our transaction numbers begin with a letter, and this email you have here is from ... squinting ... 'Tessy Caring,' who has a Yahoo email address and who is probably fake."

YOU SIR ARE A VIRUS AND I'D LIKE YOU REMOVED PLEASE

THE AMOUNT IS 500 $

SOME PEOPLE PUT THE DOLLAR SIGN AFTER THE NUMBER AND ALSO AFTER A SPACE KIND OF A BRITISH THING TO DO REAL FANCY. LEAVES YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT

THE AMOUNT IS 500     CHICKENS J/K
THE AMOUNT IS 500     BIGABYTES LOLZ
THE AMOUNT IS 500     LBS THAT GUY LOST ON THE BIGGER LOSER J/K BUT HE DID LOSE A LOT OF WEIGHT SERIOUSLY GREAT SHOW
THE AMOUNT IS 500     $

HOPE YOU ARE NOW SATISFIED

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

AND MY BEST WISES AND GOOD GREETINGS.

GREETINGS LIKE DOLLAR SIGNS COME AT THE BEGINNING NOT END TRADITIONALLY

GOOD LUCK

WHO NEEDS LUCK WHEN YOU HAVE 500  $ OF STRAIGHT CASH HOMEY BOUT TO BUY A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BERT'S BEES LIP BALM THAT SHIZZ IS EXPENSIVE YO LIKE 4  $ A POP #THUGLIFE

3 comments:

troy said...

How do you consistently make these this funny? I smell a book in your future.

mkenny59 said...

troy, you are too kind and your positive comments make my day! Very glad you are enjoying this exercise in pointlessness :)

As far as a book goes, there IS another one in the works, but it's not about spam email. I'll keep you and the other eight people who might buy it updated.

Jane said...

NINE people. Let's not be hyperbolic, Mike.