When we talk about spam, which is what I do -- seriously, that is what I am doing right now -- we must remember that it does not limit itself to email. Spam will creep into everything if we let it, and we let it all the time because no one really knows what spam is or why it exists or how it can be stopped. For example, many of us have experienced the pure joy of having something show up on our Facebook timeline like, "Mike Kenny watched a video - 'You won't BELIEVE what this girl can do with a banana!'" and the screenshot of the video is a pair of butt cheeks. This is an exciting thing to have happen when your Facebook friends include people who don't necessarily understand spam and who are also your mom.
Another great place to get spam is LinkedIn, which is a site I use solely for accepting LinkedIn connection requests. This week's spam comes courtesy of my sister, who actually uses LinkedIn for networking and for her job, a job that is, from what I can deduce, more important than writing about spam on a blog. That is why I find it flattering that she received spam while trying to accomplish something useful and thought to herself, "My brother writes about spam. Let me forward this junk to him before I contact a major client of mine." Thanks, sis! You won't be disappointed! With this! Not in general as it pertains to my life's purpose!
Subject: LinkedIn new messages
This new message is about new messages. Namely, this one. This message is about itself. This is a truism that is philosophical in nature, and makes me wonder if Plato himself could deconstruct LinkedIn in a way that made sense to the layperson.
Your idea of what can be classified as of high importance is about to be changed drastically.
STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND REMEMBER YOU COMMITTED TO AN IRISH PUB CHALLENGE NOW GET OUT THERE AND DRINK YOUR FACE OFF THAT IS THE CHALLENGE
This may be more amusing to me personally considering I am well aware that the absolute last thing in the world my sister would ever in a million years take active part in would be a pub challenge of any kind, even one Irish in nature. It appears yet again spam has missed its intended target. Had I personally received this message while trying to navigate my way through job title descriptions and client qualifications -- unlikely as that seems -- there's an excellent chance my reaction would have been a genuine, "Oh sh*t! When?"
It also warrants mentioning that the link itself is crap and leads to nothing and is probably a terrible virus. I think this because I opened it so I could make fun of it and closed it IMMEDIATELY after it started being really weird. I may be more active on LinkedIn after all when it is revealed I crashed our company's server while trying to open a link for an Irish pub challenge. I blame my sister.