Classic card of the week

Steve Sax, 1990 Upper Deck "A Collector's Choice"

It was 1989. I was flipping through my baseball card collection, seeing the same old names, same old poses, same old everything. I remember thinking to myself, “Man, you know what I could go for? An artist’s rendition of Steve Sax, montage style!" So you could imagine my surprise when Upper Deck released its “Collector’s Choice” edition in 1990. What a coincidence! I was a collector. And my obvious choice was to have an animated Steve Sax baseball card in which Steve Sax is about to run to first base, while Steve Sax looks on in quiet approval.

Now I’ve got to be honest here. I’ve never understood the vast appeal of one Stephen Louis Sax. The guy was just an okay ballplayer. Yet V. Wells -- the nationally renowned Upper Deck artist extraordinaire -- was summoned to provide a portrait of the man, in painstaking detail. (Legend has it that Wells was released from exile on the island of Guam by the King of Mozambique for one week in order to complete this Saxian masterpiece.) Did Steve Sax deserve this kind of treatment? How does one explain the prolific efforts of Steve Sax as they relate to his baseball abilities? I mean, the guy was on The Simpsons for crying out loud!

As usual, there was only one source that could provide all of the answers to my Steve Sax-related questions: Wikipedia. And let me tell you something, from the bottom of my heart: If you haven’t been on Steve Sax’s Wikipedia page -- and chances are that you haven’t -- I demand that you go there right this second. Every question you’ve ever had about Steve Sax will be answered, including:

-Was Steve Sax ever a contestant on a game show hosted by Betty White?

-Is Steve Sax married or divorced? And if he is divorced, how did that event affect his 1996 run as a Republican for the California State Assembly 5th District?

-Is Steve Sax offended by often being mistaken for former MLB player and Fox baseball analyst Steve Lyons, and if so, has Sax ever compounded that confusion by being a candidate for the baseball analyst position at Fox made available by the departure of Steve Lyons?

-I could have sworn I saw Steve Sax on Who’s the Boss…am I crazy???!!!!???><<:::

-Is there such a thing as the USA Rice Council, and if so, how is Steve Sax involved?

-Was Steve Sax, at one point or another in his lifetime:
a) a Los Angeles Dodger
b) a black belt
c) a scab-hater
d) a fitness enthusiast
e) a financial consultant
f) an author
g) not Steve Lyons
h) a podium speaker on Hot Seat
i) whatever “h” means
j) a player who did not inspire confidence in Pedro Guerrero
k) All of the Above?

If you are for some reason unable to access Wikipedia, your answers can be mailed to the following:

The Steve Sax Data Deciphering Corporation
c/o Steve Sax
Attn: Steve Sax…or Marge
3 Saxy Boy Blvd Ste 3
Saxton County, Saxville, USA Rice Council

By the way, the Sax portrait above is a clever cover for a team checklist card:

Also by the way, not including the checklist aspect of the card itself, a whopping seven players on the back of this card have been featured as Classic Cards, including #497, #549, #458, #615, #172, #152, and #191. That’s gotta be some kind of record.

Did you know?
V Wells was originally exiled for creating a provocative water color photo of Jim Deshaies.


Evil E said…
I remember these. Vernon Wells could DRAW for a little kid!

Naww, but you could easily pump your classic cards on this checklist up to 10 with the likes of Plunk, Polonia, and Winfield. I'll let you know if I come across any.