Friday, April 20, 2007

Classic card of the week


*Special Friday edition
Lance McCullers, 1988 Score

Hey, listen, I’m no baseball coach or anything. But this just can’t be the way you’re supposed to pitch a baseball. Arm moving violently forward, body moving backwards, eyes pretty much closed…I don’t know, maybe I’m the crazy one. But it seems like Lance McCullers – immediately after the pitch has left his hand – is already recoiling in horror at the idea of where the pitch may end up. It does not appear, as I was once taught many years ago, that Lance McCullers is going to finish his motion in position to field a ground ball back to the pitcher. It appears as if Lance McCullers is going to finish his motion on his back, doing reverse somersaults into center field. Then again, it could be that Lance McCullers’ fastball is so fast, that it blows even him away. The back of the card elaborates: Lance…enjoys challenging hitters with his blazing fastball. Well then. That explains it. But let’s find out more about Lance: He was used as a starter in emergencies in ’86, but did his best work out of the bullpen. The Padres finished 74-88 in 1986, so they classified emergencies as “games,” which means that Lance McCullers started every game for the Padres in 1986, and also sometimes came out of the bullpen, which is quite astounding. But it is true that McCullers was a solid relief pitcher. He even pitched for the Yankees later in his career, until, due to his unorthodox throwing motion, he had to have surgery on his entire body. This revolutionary surgery was coincidentally called, “Lance McCullers surgery,” and involved the reattachment of the back and arm to the rest of the body. Now as common as a root canal, many modern-day players are opting to have Lance McCullers surgery at the slightest hint of uncomfort. Mark Prior, for example, has had five of them.

Did you know?
As you can see, Score awarded Lance McCullers three stars for his performance, making Lance McCullers considerably better than "Norbit."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mike, I love these installments!! Please consider riffing on the 1991 (?) Upper Deck card of Jim Pankovits of the Astros.

Anonymous said...

Check that. Might be 1989 Upper Deck.

mkenny59 said...

hey, thanks! alright, jim pankovits...upper deck, you say? hmmm, i'll check the collection, but i have a humble upbringing, and upper deck was a little pricey back in the day. i may have to google this bitch...if i find it, it's on!

Anonymous said...

U.D. bankrupted me from the hobby. I'm looking for a link to a photo of the card...

Anonymous said...

Here it is!!!!

http://www.beckett.com/item/14344427/

mkenny59 said...

that is unbelievable. i am speechless. i'm gonna try and work this one in for this week...and man - you did good work, cause i looked all afternoon last friday and couldn't find anything...thanks!

Anonymous said...

Hey thanks. I figured you'd do it justice. While I was looking for Panky, I also found Alan Ashby...

http://www.beckett.com/item/14344632/