Super Bowl mailbag!

Maybe you remember our Feedback Friday segment from just a few days ago, where a New England fan sent in a fantastic email to berate me, alternately proving the very point I was sarcastically trying to make in the original column. And maybe you were saying to yourself, “Boy, I wish Mike got more negative feedback like that!” Well, you’re in luck, because when I arrived in the office on Monday, I had two more amazing pieces of literary genius from New England fans just waiting for me to peruse.

So, since the Super Bowl will renew the oft-ignored rivalry between New York and New England, I figured why not get things underway with a mailbag featuring Boston fans who hate me?! So without further ado…

Mike Kenny is a lousy, NY biased writer who should go back to Jersey…

A solid start. Though I’m intrigued to see where this one goes.

His stereotype-filled article about the upcoming Super Bowl in Glendale was pretty weak and very very negative…

The column, if you’ll remember, actually acknowledged that I would be playing on stereotypes of fan bases. Ya’ know, sarcastically. But whatever. As for the general “weakness” and “negativity” of the column, here is where Ted backs up his argument:

The Super Bowl is a fun event and will bring a lot of money into AZ. – Ted

Point well taken, Ted, albeit it in obvious contrast to my original point that the Super Bowl is not a fun event, and will not bring money into AZ. I thank Ted for calling me out on that one. But let’s get to my favorite email:

As a Bostonian living in NYC, he is quite a familiar voice, yet most New Yorkers wouldn’t dare publish such idiocy.

They’re right.

It is so sad that your paper in friendly and beautiful Arizona, must put up with such New York-skewed sports coverage…

That’s my bad. I had originally asked the paper for an Iowa-skewed gardening column, but they insisted on sports. Too boot, the New York-centric nature of the column is indeed unnecessary, considering the Giants are not in the Super Bowl, which is not in Arizona.

Mr. Kenny, who clearly cannot let go of the evil NY/Boston rivalry even though he has moved to AZ, attempts to make you readers believe that Patriots fans are a crude and obnoxious group…

What? I didn’t do that! Okay, well…yeah, I kind of did. What can I say -- this is an evil rivalry. Evil, I tell you!

As for his comment that Bostonians will arrive and complain that Arizona is bereft of foliage and unattractive females – I can only guess that he didn’t have quite enough intelligence left in his brain to say something that, well, I suppose a good writer would say in such an article…

Speaking of a “good writer,” that was eloquently spoken.

I wouldn’t want his brain cells to work too hard, however, so if he doesn’t understand this letter – just spell out BITTER NY FAN…

Yes, I am very bitter that my favorite football team is in the Super Bowl. Makes sense. But this email is making my brain cells hurt.

The point is New Englanders love Arizona and we are excited that the Super Bowl is being held there (warm, beautiful, friendly!). We are sorry, however, that you have ol’ Mikey boy from the Ol’ boy’s network, invading your thinking with his ignorant diatribe… - Anonymous

Thanks for writing in, anonymous. And don’t forget to check out next week’s column, entitled, “Arizona: Warm, beautiful, AND friendly? C’mon…” which will be simulcast live on the “Ol’ Boys Network,” whatever that is.

Anyway, I’m glad to report that at least a few New England fans were able to grasp the sarcasm of the aforementioned column, in which I described New York Giants’ fans as “Notoriously the most respectful and least-abrasive fans in the NFL,” obviously ignoring such events as EVERY SINGLE GIANTS’ GAME, the “snowball fiasco of 1995,” and the fact that every curse word I ever learned I originally heard at Giants Stadium as a child, being hurled in the direction of Phil Simms, who had just led his team to a Super Bowl title. Ugh. If I knew a way to wink in print, I would.


Ol’ Mikey boy

I get sarcasm! Get IT in your FACE! Arrgghhhh! Go Pats!!!


CMB said…
Who the hell are these people writing to you? How crazy? I think you need to hire Wolf as your personal body guard!