Thursday, November 29, 2007

Classic card of the week


Jim Les, 1992-93 Fleer

Asked to describe Jim Les in three letters or less, Jim Les replied, “’Good.’ No wait, that’s four. Ummm, give me a second here…” After approximately ten minutes, the light bulb went off for Jim Les. He leaned back slowly in his recliner, flashed his famously cocky smile and said, “Me.”

Jim Les rocked #33 as an obvious homage to his idol and career rival Larry Bird. Also like Bird, Les rocked the lethal combination of curly bangs and a short mullet, to the delight of no one in particular.

And also like Bird, Jim Les did his lovemaking behind the three-point line, so to speak. In fact, let’s find out what the back of the card has to say:

Les is more if you are talking about three-point shooters.

Hey, is that a mispri-…Wait, I get it! JIM Les is more, like the phrase “less is more!” Ha, ha! Back of the card, you’ve done it again! Wait…that makes no sense. Whatever! What else ya’ got?

One of the NBA’s most feared long-range missile launchers, Les led the league in trey shooting percentage in 1990-91.

And the back of the card is not lying. When asked during a 1990 interview with the Mormon Gazette to name the NBA’s most feared long-range missile launcher, Karl Malone replied, “Oh, Jim Les. No doubt. He’s the best long-range missile launcher I have ever seen. Honestly. Without hyperbole, I can say that Jim Les is the best long-range missile launcher this side of Saddam Hussein. I mean, his trey percentage is through the roof! We’re talking about three-pointers, right?”

Jim Les was such a lethal long-range missile launcher, that he made the finals of the NBA’s Long-Range Missile Launching Contest in 1992, only to lose by one point to Craig Hodges. In fact, the contest was so scintillating, that both men would go on to star in a buddy-cop comedy whereas Craig Hodges was the black cop who didn’t play by the rules and shot three-pointers, and Jim Les was the white cop who played by the book and also shot three-pointers. It was called, “Freeze, Asshole!’ and it went straight to VHS. Many people blamed the title.

Did you know?
Jim Les is now the head coach of his alma mater, Bradley, and he led them to the Sweet Sixteen in 2006. I realize this is not funny, but it warrants mentioning nonetheless.

No comments: