Friday, March 02, 2007
Classic card of the week
*Special Friday edition
Chuck Knoblauch, 1999 Upper Deck
Here is a fun game to play that involves a Chuck Knoblauch baseball card, as you sit at work on a rainy Friday morning: “Where the hell did this ball end up going?” I have some suggestions…
- It went into the dugout on the fly, narrowly missing Don Zimmer, who was thankfully wearing his army helmet
- It landed on the head of Keith Olberman’s father
- The ball never left Knoblauch’s hand, because he forgot where he was for a split second, so he tucked the ball into his chest and eventually ended up on the field in the fetal position doing 360s in the dirt
- He immediately threw the ball up in the air to himself, as an attempt to fool the umpire into thinking that it was a pop fly, but in trying to do that, he accidentally threw the ball to first base, recording the out anyway
- He threw the ball over the outfield fence, recording the first assisted home run in Spring Training history
- He farted and dropped it
- He threw the ball into the opposing team’s on-deck circle, where an alert Fred McGriff was waiting, who proceeded to hit a two-run triple
- In order to avoid actually making the throw, Knoblauch let it fall to the ground and roll around, and then made a whiny gesture in the direction of the home plate umpire, making light of his gaffe during the previous season’s ALCS. The crowd booed
- He successfully threw it to first base. The play was at third
- He casually tossed it underhanded back to the pitcher and yelled, “Do over! I wasn’t ready…”
- He threw it into left field, turned to Joe Torre in the dugout and yelled, “That’s where you want me to play from now on, right? Just making sure…”
And we could go on for hours, which I suggest you do on this lazy Friday. Of course, we kid Chuck Knoblauch because we love him. He always handled his criticism gracefully, and chose to ignore morons such as myself, who couldn’t begin to imagine the psychological torture of not being able to make the simplest throw in baseball. If it makes you feel any better Chuck, during our annual family softball game two years ago, I made an errant throw to first base, and the ball narrowly missed hitting my one-year old Godson in the head. That would have really sucked. Call me!
Did you know?
Chuck Knoblauch could not throw the ball to first base and he almost single-handedly cost the Yankees the 1998 ALCS, yet he was infinitely more clutch than A-Rod.