Friday, November 10, 2006

Classic card of the week




*Special Friday edition
Ron Harper, 1992-93 Fleer

In the early 1990’s, because of lacking attendance, the Los Angeles Clippers would run an annual promotion where you only had to pay half price for admission if you did not have a face. The idea was to have an actual NBA contest resemble a game of “Double-Dribble,” a popular Nintendo video game at the time. Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Why would you want to go to an NBA game if you did not have any eyes? Or a mouth to eat nachos?” Good question. Counterpoint: Why would you do anything if you did not have a face? Besides, it is obvious from this card that Ron Harper’s game was so sweet, that it transcended the five senses – check the mulleted faceless man in the stands, adequately pumped-up as a result of Harper’s throw-down. As for Harper himself, the back of the card explains that he was “often compared to Michael Jordan because of his acrobatic slams.” I remember, as a kid, having hour-long arguments with my friends, trying to decide who was a more acrobatic slammer – Ron Harper or Michael Jordan. I always said Jordan. I don’t know why, really. I guess I just preferred his particular brand of acrobatics. But my friend Alex would always be like, “No way, man! Ron Harper is a more acrobatic slammer…Who is Ron Harper?” Alex didn’t have a face though. Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier. Besides, comparing Ron Harper to Michael Jordan is like comparing "Double-Dribble" to NBA 2006 - it's too close to call. Anyway, possibly even more enjoyable than the inexplicably blurred-out fans is the high-top fade of Benoit Benjamin, who is glancing over to the bench in hopes of a substitution. He is tired as all hell. He can’t keep running up and down the court like this. Never before has the “00” jersey been doled out so judiciously. Good thing nobody can see him.

Did you know?
At halftime of this game, several banana-shaped mascots* came onto the court and performed a very enjoyable 20-second jingle.

*Did you know? Part II
You will not get “Did you know?” if you never played “Double-Dribble.”**

**Did you know? Part III
If you've never played "Double-Dribble" before, then you are dead to me anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

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