Friday, January 15, 2016

Cool thing of the week

NOT TRYIN’ TO BRAG BUT I JUST GOT A NEW, FREE TRAVEL MUG AT A COMPANY LUNCHEON



IT WAS BETWEEN THAT AND A LANYARD AND YOU KNOW ME, I DON'T FRONT

GONNA FILL THIS BABY WITH SOME FILTERED WATER RIGHT N—

AYO HOLD UP



Please wash all parts in warm soapy water before use.

ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE TRAVEL MUG OR SHOULD I TAKE A SHOWER LOL

SERIOUSLY THO

Do not exceed the product’s capacity with liquids.

I WILL FILL THIS DANG THING WITH LITTLE REGARD FOR ITS SPATIAL DIMENSIONS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

MY CUP SPILLETH OVER, SON

WITH ATTITUDE BUT ALSO LITERALLY

Always be certain the lid is secured before drinking.

I WAS TAUGHT SINCE BIRTH THAT IF THE LID IS IN THE GENERAL PROXIMITY OF THE CUP YOU ARE G2G (GOOD TO GO)

FEELS LIKE MY DRANK CONSUMPTION IS BEING MICROMANAGED HERE

Hot drinks may scald the user.

LOL TAKE THAT USER

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR PUTTING HOT DRANK IN A PLASTIC TRAVEL MUG WITH A STRAW

Keep out of children’s reach when filled with hot liquid to avoid scalding.

CHILD, PLEASE HOLD THIS HOT-ASS DRANK I JUST POURED INTO A PLASTIC TRAVEL MUG WHILE I DELETE THIS TRACK OFF MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, MUCH OBLIGED

Do not put container in microwave.

WHAT IF YOU DON’T TURN THE MICROWAVE ON

BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BECAUSE THEY TURNED YOUR POWER OFF

I STORE MY TRAVEL MUGS IN THE MICROWAVE, IS WHAT I’M SAYI—

Hand wash only. Dishwasher may damage product or lid seal.

THIS IS ONE HIGH-MAINTENANCE-ASS TRAVEL MUG. I HOPE WHEN I DRINK FROM THIS DANG THING I EXUDE A FORMALITY THAT MIRRORS THE VAST EFFORTS I MUST PUT FORTH TO MAINTAIN IT.

Unit is not vacuum design.

WHY ISN’T THIS TRAVEL MUG A VACUUM CLEANER

Can only keep warm or cold liquid for a short period.

WHY CAN’T THIS TRAVEL MUG MAINTAIN AN EXTREME TEMPERATURE FOR LITERALLY INFINITY

I CAME HERE TO GET SCALDED DAMMIT

CAUTION-hot liquid will increase temperature of exterior wall.

“OH MY GOODNESS WHY IS THE EXTERIOR WALL OF THIS TRAVEL MUG SO HOT, COULD IT BE THE HOT LIQUID I POURED INTO ITS FOYER, WHO KNOWS, ANYWAY IT’S COOLED OFF NOW”

This product is not intended to be spill proof or leak proof and is not guaranteed against minor leakage.

SO LIKE SHOULD I TAKE OUT AN INSURANCE POLICY OR WHAT

I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE PICKED THE LANYARD

1 comment:

troy said...

I was just coming to terms about elderly leakage and now I find out about minor leakage? They better be talkin bout babies.