When the kids say something painfully idiotic, my wife will often respond by saying, “Thanks, Copernicus.” It’s been going on for so long now I can’t remember for sure, but I think it stems from a Brian Reagan routine. Either way, this is what we do. We are great parents.
And like any great parents, our girls are starting to mimic what we do. Not the good stuff, of course, like having manners and not interrupting and consistently urinating in a toilet. Everything else.
So let me set the scene. I’m driving the girls home from school/camp, and our game of 20 questions involving characters from movies or TV shows has devolved into anarchy because they cannot tell the difference between cartoons and real people. (To be more specific, I spent 10 minutes racking my brain trying to think of a “definitely REAL-PERSON” boy who has a cat and a family, only to discover the boy is Caillou. They are almost 5 and 6, by the way.) So we’ve decided to switch up the game. Now we have to throw a letter out there and someone else has to name an animal that begins with that letter. For a reason I cannot recall at the moment, but more than likely involved extreme frustration with the game’s proceedings, I have recused myself. Now the girls are playing on their own. Here we go …
Girl 2: Okay, your letter is … C!
Girl 1: Ugh, that’s so easy. Cat.
Girl 2: No! A cat is not an animal. (said with confident satisfaction, as if the Riddler strikes again)
Girl 1: A cat is too an animal!
Girl 2: Sorry, Copernicus.
Girl 1: YOU’RE Copernicus! Daaaaaaaad, she called me Copernicus!
(We regret nothing.)