Thursday, March 26, 2015

Spam email of the week

Subject: PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL,

Comma = CLIFFHANGER

My name is Barrister Daniel Gidado ESQ. I would like to present to you a Business Proposition for your consideration.

Unsolicited business propositions are kind of my thing. Spit your game, son.

I hold on Trusts the sum of $128,000,000.00 that belongs to my late client.


RIP your client. He hustled till he died. Now he dead. (That was my eulogy; I drop the mic at the end and break down in tears.)

The aforementioned funds were blocked in my Trusts Account pending when a Beneficiary will be appointed by me to claim the said funds as contained in the Trusts Agreement.

I have a feeling you’re going to tell me this dude who was worth $128 million had no friends or family, which makes sense because people hate being around money.

I am ready to appoint you

Here we go.

as the Beneficiary cum Investor

Whoa hold up. Is this a fertility clinic or somethin’? Because I don’t think mine works and I just-

of the aforesaid funds herein provided you accept my offer and ready to make the business with me.

At the risk of sounding all business-like with a bunch of #businesslingo, allow me to say: I am ready to make the business with you.

Our Sharing Ratio is 50/50.

As the beneficiary cum investor, I believe I am entitled to … (flipping through giant law book, searching for “cum investor”) … I can’t find it. OK.

I will appreciate if you will send me your telephone number for verbal discussion of this offer in full detail.

Yes, we should definitely talk about this over the phone. My number is 286-468-3787 (CUM-INV-ESTR)

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