Spam email of the week

Subject: ADK: Abby Danielle Kiki

I am assuming ADK is a singing group and that ADK > SWV.

Sam has sent you a link to a blog:

Thank you, Sam. I like when people send me blog links via emails with headers like "ADK: Abby Danielle Kiki" instead of me going on a blog of my own volition.

Hi i'm Charlotte

Here is a list of people SO FAR involved in this terrible email:

  • Abby
  • Danielle
  • Kiki
  • Sam
  • Charlotte

I am Mike.

you do not remember me we'd a discussion on-line

Why are you certain I don't remember you, Charlotte? Was I drunk during our discussion online? No, I don't think so. Of course I remember you, Charlotte! You have blond hair and almost have your GED and your favorite ... thing is ... something ... j/k I don't remember you. I was drunk.

please join with me at night i can be online there late in the evening

OK. Late in the evening is also the best time to catch me online, chatting with babes. Hold up, actually - let me check my "chatting with babes" schedule ... (opens employment manual to the page specifying "No chatting with babes online during work hours") ... yep, in the evening is best.

please e-mail your profile link to me at Many thanks Unsubscribe

Emailing my profile link to a website (??????????????????????????????????????????) and then immediately unsubscribing from the website I sent my profile link to seems like a cool way to carelessly dispose of the precious minutes of a fleeting existence.

Blog: ADK: Abby Danielle Kiki

I have yet to determine if this email is a promotion for a weird pop group, a solicitation to date online, or both, but I went on the blog. The blog is one post, from November of 2005. It reads:

ADK is a site based on three girls who meet up and form a band. They have many adventures together. Please check out this site so ADK can become famous!

(note: this site is not permmited for anyone under the age of eight.)

Listen, you're not going to find anyone who wants ADK to be famous more than me, but I am skeptical about a site which boasts content unsuitable for a seven-year-old. Eight? Eight is cool. But seven? Sorry, bruh. So even though I am well above the minimum age requirement, I'm pretty sure it's in my best interest to avoid this site at all costs.

Also, my apologies for suggesting earlier that ADK might be better than SWV. I let my emotions get the best of me.


troy said…
Yeah, uh, you're totally right, ha ha! I mean, who in their right mind DIBS ON KIKI.