Thursday, March 27, 2014

Spam email of the week



Subject: See what Guyer Wildcats Football has to say!

About what? What is this? Okay!

Hi Mike,

Hi … you.

I just wanted to quickly follow up on my last email

You are a *** **** liar. But please, go on.

as I  truly believe that Sport Ngin has the tools

Sport Nggbnnv? Cool name! Vowels are the worst. I hate when people are all like, “Oh I’m going to spell this correctly so it sounds like a professional company and not a license plate … ahem … ‘Sport Engine, LLC’ … derp derp derp I use proper punctuation in text messages derp snerp.” Pfft. Actually, may I make a suggestion? How about: ULTIMATE X-treme Sport Ngin 4 kidz 2 da MAX? That way you can teach people sports AND proper grmr.

that can make life easier for you and your program.

What is my program? I have a program?

I know that hearing about a product from the mouth of the company is never that exciting

It’s true that when companies, which have mouths, talk about their products out of their mouths, my eyes do a rolling thing to sarcastically express my lack of excitement. Then I kick the company in its nutsack for talking trash. But then I pick the company up and pat it on its back and say, “But you deserved that,” which is something the company hears with its ears.

so I thought I would share the success of one of our clients.

Okay. Let’s hear it, professional BMX rider Obi Kaburski.

Recently, we have been working with Carolyn Flemming of Guyer Wildcat Football in creating a new technology solution resulting in their brand new website. You can take a look at their new website by following this link  - www.guyerwildcatfootball.com

/logs onto Guyer Wildcat Football website/

OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS THE GREATEST WEBSITE I HAVE EVER SEEN, THAT’S IT, I AM STARTING A TEXAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM

"Our first year with Sport NGIN had been great! Our team loves the ability to update player profiles and stats while scoring live from the sideline. The ease it which we can quickly format the page to our liking while getting top notch customer support is exactly what we were looking for. As if that weren't enough, the coinciding mobile app is a fan favorite!"
- Carolyn Flemming, Webmaster - Guyer Wildcat Football

Thank you, Carolyn Flemming, webmaster for Guyer Wildcat Football. I think it’s cool and not sad that your team updates its stats from the sideline and that you’re new website has a mobile app for HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL stats on the go, which is something we need, culturally. I look forward to incorporating all this shizz you just said into the website for the team I have just created, called Dreem Teem 2Legit2Kwit Hi-Skool Football Flyng Bird Thangs.

We do not consider ourselves a technology provider, but rather, a technology partner for all programs that use the Sport Ngin platform.

I don’t know what that means, but sign me up. One thing I need is more “partners” who claim they can to do crap to my website that I don’t understand. You know what they say - it takes a vllge to raise a sports ngin.

No comments: