Thursday, January 30, 2014

Spam email of the week

Subject: save save me.Seeking help. ???????????????????

I'll see what I can do.

Major news event /
Major news events can make you famous/


Ummm, okay I guess.

Who can help me information translated into English and published in foreign television or newspaper or Internet or passed on to the Chinese President xi jinping.

Okay hold up, lemme get this straight. All you need is for someone to translate something into English and have it published/broadcast on international mediums OR given directly to Chinese President Xi Jinping? Pfft. I GOT THIS.

I gave you 100000 dollars /

You did? What did I do with it? I don't think you did, please send again, thnx.

Please give this letter translated into English/

No doubt, kid. Hit me off with the realness. I'm ready.

Save Save me.Seeking help.

This part says, "Save Save me. Seeking help." This is mad easy.

I come from China¾È¾ÈÎÒ¡£ÎÒÏÖÔÚÔÚ±±¾©ºÍÒÔÇ°ÔÚÌì½òÌÁ¹Á±»ÖйúÈË´óίԱ³¤Õŵ½­µÄ˽Éú×Ó[ÃúÉÐÀÏ°å´ó¸Å½Ð]¸ßÔ­µÄÈË24Сʱ¼à¿ØÅ°´ý.ÖйúÈË´óίԱ³¤Õŵ½­µÄ˽Éú×Ó¸ßԭָʾ±ðÈËÌìÌì¶ÔÎÒͶÂýÐÔ¶¾¡£Õŵ½­µÄ˽Éú×Ó¸ßÔ­¿ÉÒÔ¶¯ÓÃÕû¸ö»òÒ»°ëµÄ±±¾©È˺ÍÎÒÒÔÇ°ÔÚÌì½òÌÁ¹ÁÈ˶ÔÎÒ¼à¿Ø¡£Ï°¸ç¡£Öйú»¹Óз¨ÂÉÂð¡£Ï°¸ç¡£ÖйúÊDz»ÊDZä³ÉÕŵ½­Ë½Éú×Ӹ߼ҵÄ

Oh uh, this part is like, "I come from China and uh ... I just saw a bear ... a big ass bear. He uh ... (squinting) had a gun ... the bear did. He bout to kill me or whatever. Help."

¾È¾ÈÎÒ¡£ÎÒÀ´×ÔÖйú¡£ÎÒ½ÐÆëÒÔͬ¡£36ËêÁË¡£ÄС£ºÓÄÏÊ¡ÄÏÕÙÏØÈË¡£ÎÒµÄÉí·ÝÖ¤ºÅÊÇ412921197802041519¡¢ÎÒÏÖÔÚÔÚ±±¾©ºÍÎÒÒÔÇ°ÔÚÌì½òÌÁ¹Á±»ÃúÉÐÀÏ°å´ó¸Å½Ð¸ßÔ­µÄ¡¾Õŵ½­µÄ˽Éú×Ó¡¿ÈË24Сʱ¼à¿Ø¡£ËûµÄ¹«Ë¾ÔÚÌì½òºÓ±±ÇøÄÏ¿Ú·¡£Ëû¹«Ë¾µÄÃû×Ö

½ÐÃúÉС£ËüµÄµç»°ÊÇ15822536363¡¢26227640¡¢ËüµÄ³µºÅÊǽòkvv585¡¢ÎÒÏÖÔÚûÓÐÈκεÄÈËÉí×ÔÓÉ¡£ÎÒ±¨¾¯ÉÏ·ÃûÓÐÈκÎÈËÊÜÀí¡£ÇëÇóÊÀ½ç¸÷¹úÓÐÕýÒåµÄºÃÐÄÈ˾ȾÈÎÒ¡£°ÑÎÒËùдµÄ·¢±íÔÚÊÀ½ç¸÷¹ú±¨¿¯ÉÏ»òÔÚµçÊǪ́ÉÏÍøÉÏÆعâ»òת½»¸øÖйú¹ú¼ÒÖ÷ϯÏ

°½üƽ¡£ÎÒÏÖÔÚÔÚ±±¾©ºÍÎÒÒÔÇ°ÔÚÌÁ¹ÁÖ»ÒªÎÒÒ»³öÃÅ¡£¾Í»áÓÐÈ˸ú×Å¡£ÎÒ×ßµ½ÄÄÀï¡£¶¼ÓÐÈ˸úµ½ÄÄÀï¡£ÎÞÂÛÎÒ×öʲô¡£¶¼»áÓÐÈ˼à¿Ø¿´×Å¡£ÎÒÉϲÞËù²»µ½1·ÖÖÓ¡£¾ÍÓÐÈ˸ú½øÀ´¼à¿Ø¡£ÎÒÈ¥ÉÏ°àÏ°àµÄÕâһ·ÉÏ¡£¶¼»áÓÐÈ˸ú׿à¿ØÎÒ¡£¼à¿ØÎÒÓпªÕþ¸®¹«


"Turns out the bear is cool. Plus he can speak. Talkin' bout, he was sent to kill me at the behest of the rebels of Xi, but he had second thoughts when he saw my family. He said he doesn't like the rebels anymore and he wants to turn his life around. But also now we're in trouble cause the rebels gonna be after us. Help."

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Uh, this part is mostly like, the bear is growling and stuff. But then dude is like, "Hold up - how are we going to survive on the run? We need money! Please give lots of money to whoever is translating this joint and have him meet us in the wilderness. Here are our coordinates: 38 ... 106 ... 45? ... southwest longitude ... hang a louie ... yell 'Hootie hoo!' We be there."

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"Our allegiance is with Xi and we hope he remembers our great sacrifice. Please don't forget about the $$$ we're almost out of food and this bear is gonna eat me soon, peace."

Ãñ¡£ÇëÄú¾È¾ÈÎÒ¡£Ï°Ö÷ϯ¡£13021215531¡¢ÐÅÏ䣺qyt88@sina.cn QQ: 2833313508¡£¡£78966467¡£1312486382¡£ÎÒµÄÐÂÀË΢²©ÃûÊÇ£ºÇóÖú6¡£

"p.s. you can follow my plight on Twitter, @TheRealChineseGuy"

2 comments:

JediJeff said...

I thought it said "duck", not bear. But the rest of it was correct.

mkenny59 said...

You may be right, I am still a little rusty.